#took a surprising number of pics before getting this half decent one

[clover-sky]

[egcdeath]

strangers again

summary: “hiiii sweetie!! can i request a steve x reader where he left yn for peggy. but he always felt guilty and missed yn. he would always stare at her pic. when he came back he bumped into yn while she was dropping a kid to daycare. and steve realized it was his son. kinda sad but fluff at the end pls!!!! and oh i super love your works!!! tysm 🌼🥺💕”

pairing: steve rogers x reader

warnings: decent angst, brief mention of a depressive episode, abandonment, somewhat unrealistic behavior

word count: 3.8k

author’s note:  i really hope that this lives up to your expectations but it is a little cheesy. i’d also like to warn that i have not interacted with a child in several years, so.. sorry. (there’s also a lot of exposition so double sorry if that’s not your thing!)

You’d never forget the moment Steve left to return the stones, with the promise to be back in only a matter of moments.

Maybe your definition of a matter of moments was different from his.

You seemed to be the only one without a clue of what Steve truly planned to do, with Bucky only telling you after the matter that Steve was leaving for the past and for Peggy, and probably not coming back.

After finding out, something deep within you broke. You could barely leave your bed for days, you struggled to eat, sleep, even drink water. Every task that used to seem like muscle memory, began to feel like it carried the weight of the world behind it. Every hobby that you once enjoyed becoming empty and bleak.

You constantly felt inadequate. How could you love someone so much, and be told you were loved so much while always being second to someone else?

The simple sentiment of it had left you feeling miserable, and sick to your stomach. Literally. Nearly every morning, and occasionally if you smelled something too strong, you found the contents of your stomach emptied.

You attempted to ignore it at first. Meshed with every other unpleasant symptom you were going through, you’d figured that it was just one more bullet point on the list of things that had been plaguing you. But when your friends insisted that you go check up with your doctor, you had a hard time saying no.

Once you received the results from your blood test, you were completely taken aback by the fact that you were pregnant. You couldn't believe that you hadn’t considered the possibility of pregnancy earlier.

Yet,  after a long and hard period of pondering, you managed to surprise yourself once again after you realized you wanted to keep it.

After all, that could be the only piece of Steve you had left.

----

You began to tell yourself that Steve was dead. That was somehow less painful than the idea that he left you for someone that he barely knew, yet had fallen so hard for nearly 70 years ago. You refused to let yourself fall for anyone else romantically, now that you were aware that anyone had the capacity to leave you at any time, no matter how deep you perceived your relationship to be.

You guarded your heart, and made sure to only let in those that you knew you could trust for a fact. For the remainder of your pregnancy, only your closest family members and friends stood by your side.

About 8 months later, you brought a small, but healthy infant into the world. From that moment on, you promised yourself to become the best version of yourself that you could be. No dwelling on the past, and no yearning for what could’ve been. Your only duty now was to provide the best life possible for your offspring.

So you did.

----

You stood in the kitchen, peeling an orange for your son before he bounded into the room. You turned and gave him a big grin, and he grinned back to you.

“Did you get dressed all by yourself?” You asked him excitedly, receiving a nod in return before he ran up to your leg, and hugged it.

“I did, Mommy!” He looked up at you with his soulful eyes, and you couldn’t help but to feel bombarded with emotion.

Even at the tender age of five, Grant seemed to become a bit more like his father every day. The shape of his eyes, the slope of his nose, the sound of his giggle. To the average onlooker, he came across as the same as any other child, but to you, your son was the splitting image of Steve.

“Good work, little man. Now go sit at the table so mommy can finish breakfast, okay?” He didn’t even bother confirming with you before more or less sprinting to the table. You couldn’t help but to ask yourself if your son had obtained all of that energy and speed from his father as well.

Breakfast was over almost as soon as it started, and before you knew it, you were warming up your car after you’d assisted Grant with brushing his teeth.

You were in an oddly nostalgic mood that day, playing music from a time period before you’d even imagined bringing another life into the world. You glanced up at the rearview mirror and watched your son happily bop his head to the beat. You thought in passing about how much of a gift he truly was.

After arriving at his school, you hopped out of the car and over to the furthest seat in the back, where he’d insisted on sitting that day.

“You ready, big guy?” You questioned while reaching out to grab him from the car seat.

“Born ready,” he agreed. You chuckled and shook your head fondly at that while getting him out of the car.

“Who taught you that?”

Grant shrugged, “I came up with it myself.”

“I’m sure. Can you hold my hand while we’re out please?” You reached out for him, and he gladly obliged.

You soon became distracted by a large man across the street, his built figure and light blonde hair making you recall the father of your child. You gave Grant’s hand a light squeeze and continued to approach the door, not being able to help yourself, and glancing over at the man one last time.

Except this time was different. Your eyes locked with the blonde man outside of the coffee shop across the street unexpectedly. Where you once thought casually to yourself that it looked like Steve, you now had confirmation that it was in fact the man who you’d fallen in love with, and found yourself pregnant by.

You audibly gasped, receiving a bit of a questioning look from your child. Your heart dropped as a metric ton of emotions hit you all at once, anger, sadness, confusion. Everything you told yourself you needed to repress, had suddenly come back to you all at once.

Even from a distance, you swore you could see his eyes flit from you to Grant, and the next thing you knew, he was approaching your direction. Looking for an easy out, and a distraction from your rather observant child, you quickly caused a misdirection.

“Grant, is that Stacey over on the playground? You should totally go show her that new version of tag that you were telling me about!”

Your son, ever the speedster, booked it towards the playground, and you let out a sigh of relief. Although, the relief didn’t last long, as just moments later, Steve was almost all the way up to you. As you turned to try to escape, you felt a hand on your arm.

“Y/N?” He asked, almost timidly.

You weren’t even sure what to say. In fact, you didn’t feel like you had control of your own body at this point. “Steve? I-“ You ran a hand through your hair and bit the inside of your lip. “You need to go.” The pain that was rushing through you was too much for you to bare, especially considering the man who caused the hurt had suddenly decided to reappear in your life after giving you a world of self doubt and abandonment issues.

Steve seemed hurt by your statement, but you weren’t sure how much longer you could stand to even look at his face. “Please, Y/N, let me explain,” he begged.

“No, Steve. You don’t get that luxury. You left me for someone else, and I guess you got to live a nice, long life with her. You don’t get to just show back up in my life when you get bored, okay? I can’t afford to play those types of games anymore. Now if you’d let me go-“ You attempted to get to your car, but Steve side stepped you.

“It wasn’t like that. You know it isn’t like that.”

“Just fucking leave! You have no idea what this has all been like for me. You had your opportunity to leave, and you gladly took it. Stay the fuck out of my life, and the hell away from my son.” You grabbed the handle of your car door and got in, reeling as you watched a dejected Steve walk away.

Your heart pounded in your chest as you rested your head against the steering wheel. You were feeling way too many emotions to pinpoint exactly how you felt, but you knew that this couldn’t be good.

——

You put a brave face on for your son that day, picking him up from school in a daze, and only half listening to whatever it was that he was telling you.

You felt bad for only being able to nod along to whatever he was saying, and did he just ask you if he could get a dog? Did you just say yes?

You felt like a stranger watching yourself from the outside in. The ghost of the person you’d developed into over the years watching the past version of yourself slip right back into your body, and take over your daily routine through the next few days of your life.

You had an obscene amount of anger that soon dissolved into a deep sadness, and that sadness shorty developed into a morbid curiosity.

You spent an unreasonable, and certainly unhealthy amount of time searching your old lover’s name on tabloid websites and social media, just to see if he’d given a statement on his whereabouts, or a statement about anything at all.

After about day three of your minor internet stalking, you’d had an epiphany while sitting in your office.

You still have Steve’s number saved on your phone.

That was, of course, if it hadn’t changed between now and the years that he’d been off living in the past.

Something about knowing that you were just one text away from him made your heart race with a mixture of nerves and interest. Just one impulsive decision, and you could change the whole trajectory of the rest of your life.

If you got back in contact with Steve, you might not ever be willing to leave him. You refused to make that mistake again.

Until you did.

After reading Grant his nightly bedtime story, then wrapping him tightly in his little bed, you’d decided to treat yourself to a glass of Chardonnay.

It’d been a weird past couple of days. Your time traveling ex had randomly appeared back into your life, your coworkers seemed to get on your nerves a little more every moment you were around them, and Grant had a temper tantrum in the grocery store that afternoon over a chocolate bar, which gained judging stares from customers, and may have made you feel the slightest bit inadequate.

At least that’s what you told yourself as you filled your glass again, because two glasses can’t hurt, and again, since I kinda deserve this extra one, don’t I? The next thing you knew, the bottle was empty, and you were texting Steve for the first time in years.

Y: Is this Steve?

You watched as three white dots hovered on your screen for a moment, disappeared, then came back once again.

S: Is this Y/N?

Y: Yes.

Y: We should tlak

Y: *talk

S: I agree.

Y: So lets

Y: talk

S: I don’t think this is a conversation for texts.

Y: Then call me???????????????????

S: We should talk in person.

Y: Im not gonna do that sober

S: You’re not sober?

Y: do you think id text u sober u big fuckni asshole

S: I guess you’re right

S: So are we gonna talk?

Y: no ur gonna meet me at b cup cafe tomorrow at 10

S: AM or PM?

Y: AM I’m off

S: Are you sure you want to do this?

Y: Say yes before i change my mind

S: I’ll see you there

Y: Bye babydaddy

S: ????

You promptly deleted the messages, tossed your phone somewhere on the sofa, and sunk into the seat. Even in your not-completely-sober state, you already felt the all too familiar sense regret. You dragged the blanket that hung over the top of the sofa over your exhausted body, and closed your eyes, wishing that this was somehow all a dream.

----

It was not all just a dream.

You woke up with dried drool on your chin, and a deep pit of bad feelings and regret in your chest. Of course, you ignored the bad feelings and got ready, business as usual. You successfully dropped Grant off at school with little complications, and found yourself perking up a bit more.

Yet, something still felt slightly off. You reached into the passenger seat for your phone, and as you looked down on it, saw the familiar notification of a calendar event.  

10:00 AM b cup coff w Steeb

You groaned out loud at this. There was no obligation for you to go meet with him, but perhaps going and talking to Steve would bring you some sort of closure. Maybe then you could move on with your life, get with a nice guy who would mean it when he tells you he won't leave you, who loves Grant like he’s his own biological offspring, and to take care of the both of you through thick and thin.

You gladly daydreamed of this fantasy man while driving to the shop, but you couldn’t help but to see Steve’s face doing all of the aforementioned things. Before you even fell pregnant, that’s what you’d truly wanted with Steve. To be a family. To have your definition of home be with your people, rather than a place.

Entering the coffee shop, you briefly ordered your drink before looking around and find Steve sitting alone in a booth, mindlessly stirring around the liquid in his cup.

Timidly, you approached the booth, before setting your purse down and sitting across from him.

“You... you came?” He looked up to you with almost watery eyes.

“Of course I did,” you tried to hold yourself back from mentioning something about following through on your word. You wanted this to be as civil as possible. To build bridges rather than burn them.

“I just didn’t expect to see you in person again. And, you know, you were running a little late,” he added.

“Well, you try waking a five year old up and getting him ready for school every day,” you expelled a humorless chuckle to deflect from the slight agitation you were feeling.

“While you’re hungover?” Steve asked with a bit of a smirk, trying to lighten up the mood.

“While you’re hungover,” You confirmed, genuinely laughing now. It felt good, natural even. You’d kind of forgotten just how pleasant things used to be with Steve.

“Did you mean it last night?” he interrupted the laughter with a serious look.

“I honestly cannot remember anything I said last night. Elaborate, please?”

“That he’s mine. Your son.” He watched you silently nod, then began to speak again, “Wow, I just didn’t realize… How did that happen?” He looked down into his drink nervously.

“Well, it’s kind of hard to recall the exact details, but when a mommy and a daddy love each other very much...” You trailed off, and looked up as a barista called a butchered version of your name.

You were glad to have an excuse to get up and leave for a moment. Adrenaline was racing through your body, and you weren’t sure how much longer you could keep your composure before you erupted into tears, or had some sort of angry outburst.

Bringing your cup back to the booth, you sat down and took a sip of the scalding drink, “Where did we leave off?”

“I believe you were giving me the birds and the bees?”

“Right! Well, I think you know the rest. I’ll tell you more about Grant later. Right now, I want to know why you left and suddenly decided to come back.” You genuinely felt proud of your delivery. This was the moment you’d practiced in front of the mirror for years, and you didn’t even butcher it.

Steve shook his head and looked into his drink once again. It was so hard to look at you, let alone make eye contact with you, when he knew that he’d been the one to give you an ocean of grief. Yet, he was somewhat intrigued by hearing that his son’s name was his middle name.  

“It’s kind of a long story,” Steve began.

“Good thing we have time,” you crossed your arms as you spoke.

“Well, waking up in a whole new time period isn’t exactly the easiest thing ever. You and me both know I missed it there, and it’s always been more than just nostalgia for me. I truly believed that I belonged back there.”

Of course, you had an idea of this, but hearing Steve confirm what you’d already thought made your insides twist.

“But I was so wrong. More than anything, I guess I was in love with a romanticized version of the past. Of Peggy.”

Hearing her name, especially from Steve, made you bristle. You wanted to interrupt him at this point, but it wouldn’t do you or him any good to become hostile while he explained himself.

“By the time I realized, it was too late. I figured you’d already moved on and found someone else to take care of you, and the world, this world, didn’t really need me anymore. But something possessed me to come back.”

“So you’re telling me that if you stopped being an idiot that just assumes things, we could’ve worked this out before? That you could’ve been an active participant in your son’s life?”

“I guess that’s a good way to interpret that story. I know I haven’t been in his life, but is there any way that I can still meet him?” Steve asked hopefully.

“Yeah, of course. He’s just like,” you sighed a bit to yourself. “He’s like a carbon copy of you. Especially his personality, but like, down to his mannerisms. I always struggled to understand how he could be so much like his dad, and never even had met him. You’ll love him.”

“Even if I didn't like him, I’d still love him.”

“How do you still manage to be such a cheeseball all the damn time? You think you’d be able to make it to dinner tonight?”

----

At exactly 6:30 on the dot, your doorbell rang, and before you even had the chance to think about opening it, Grant already was at the door, and opening it. You cringed on the inside, and made a mental note to have another conversation about stranger danger with him.

“Do I know you? Who are you?” you heard your child question from the other room as you set down the last of the plates in your dining room.  

“I’m Steve, your mom’s friend... and…” Steve nearly spilled the beans to his son, but didn’t want to cause any more damage than he’d already done. “Her friend.”

“That’s so cool! I have friends too, like Nick, and Stacey, and,” you’d rushed up to the door and wiped your brow, internally hoping that you hadn’t just smudged the makeup you’d put on for the occasion.

“Hi, Steve, come on in,” You beckoned him in, and pulled Grant to the side, quietly scolding him before leading Steve into the dining room. “Grant! This is the last time I’m telling you about opening doors, okay?” He nodded obediently, then followed you and Steve.

“Can I sit next to your friend, Mommy?”

“Is that alright with you, Steve?”

“More than fine.”

Grant sat down next to him, and scooted a bit closer than necessary, while you sat across from the two of them.

“I have to in… enter a gate you now. Because Mommy never brings any over her friends over. I didn’t know she had any friends.”

You blushed a bit at this, at your son’s overdramatic behavior, and his admission that you’d become a bit of a loner.

“Go ahead, pal,” Steve chuckled heartily.

“When did you meet my mom?”

“Before you were even born.”

“Wow! That’s a long time. You’re really old. What’s your favorite dinosaur?”

“I’ve heard T-Rexes are pretty cool.”

“Have you met any?”

You nearly spat out your drink at this. If only your son had known.

“Nope, never. Have you?”

“Hmm, not yet. But they’re my favorite dino too. Now your ‘gating is over.”

You couldn’t help but to burst out into laughter at the bizarre exchange, but you were glad that your son and Steve were getting along so well.

The rest of dinner went pretty similarly, with Grant bantering with Steve, and Steve indulging him. You could tell that the relationship between the two of them was something that came both naturally and easily. You couldn’t help but to grin as Grant began to ramble about how cool Steve was, and how he swore he was better friends with Steve than you were.

“Mommy, isn’t Steve the best? You guys should totally get married so he can have dinner with us every day!” he swooned. “He even kinda looks like me, right?!”

That’s why you couldn’t help what came out of your mouth next.

“Grant, Steve is… He’s your dad,” you said quietly.

Grant nodded, then slurped up a noodle, “That’s why he’s so cool! He gets it from me, right Mom?”

“That sounds right to me,” You glanced up at Steve, and noticed his surprised expression. You mouthed something along the lines to ‘He’ll process it later,’ and waved a dismissive hand, before going in for another bite of food.

----

After putting Grant to bed, You and Steve stood at your kitchen sink, bumping elbows occasionally as the two of you silently worked together to wash and dry dishes.

The domesticity and familiarity of the action brought you an obscene amount of comfort. You remembered how you once believed that this is what your future would look like. Your thoughts were interrupted by Steve beginning to talk.

“Doesn’t this remind you of life after the first snap?” He asked, breaking the silence.

“Kind of. You’re not off the hook yet, by the way. You still have plenty of explaining and proving you’ve changed to do.” You set the last cup in the cupboard, then dried your hands off.

“I know, I know,” Steve began.

“We don’t even know if you’re ready for fatherhood. But right now, I kinda don’t care. I really just want you to kiss me.” You reached up to Steve’s cheek, and he pulled you in for a soft and chaste kiss.

You’d never felt more at home.

——

me with this fic:

[dystopian-penguin]

Is this a real life story? Is this a fic concept? Who knows 🤷

But here’s a very long account of... something.

This isn't a gay disaster story. It's a gay sad ending story. It's a gay "self-homophobia is very real and realistic” story, and not in the "gay panic is kinda cute" way.

It all started 14 years ago (yes that long), when I was still deeply in the HP fandom and even more deep into reading James/Lilly fics in ff.net all day long. For the first time in my entire life I decided to sort by “all works” and not just “completed”. I know it might sound super silly, and even a bit cliche considering this is tumblr and we live and breath fics, but that single decision literally changed the course of my life. And unlike what I usually do, I am not exaggerating. I found this one fic that must have had, like, 20 chapters and almost 100k words and dived into it without looking for rocks in the bottom. Long story short: the last posted chapter ended on a huuuuuge cliffhanger, like the very next moment after the kiss, and it left me completely destroyed.

So I did what I always do, what I am known on tumblr and my small social circle in here to do: I went to scream at the author.

But I wasn’t content to just scream in the comment section, oh no. For all I knew the bitch wouldn’t even see it, the last update had been from like 8 months previously. So I stalked her ff.net profile and found her MSN email. Yes, the story is THAT old.

My literal first words to her must have been something akin to “OH MY GOD I HATE YOU SO MUCH”, which yay for the beautiful poetic irony that the universe crafts at times. She took it in stride because, let’s face it, a shitton of people had already greeted her like that by then. And we started talking, and it was easy and fun. We had a lot in common, more or less the same type of interests, the usual you’d expect if I had met her on tumblr even. We must have talked like 3 hours straight on that first day, and I left feeling pretty good cause I had made a new friend. Not only that, but right off the bat I admired her so much. Not only because she was talented as fuck (imagine writing a 100k unfinished fic at only 15 y/o), but also because the more I talked to her the more I could see just how fucking cultured she was and how intelligent and ect. She came from a wealthy family and such a different reality from me. She had been abroad, in fact she usually travelled abroad with her family like twice a year, she was fluent in english even then (at that point I was I intermediate at best), not to mention german because her family was german. She was 15 (a year older than me back then) and trilingual and could write wonderfully and I was fascinated by her instantly.

Something else worth of note was that her profile pic on the day we met had been set to a close-up of a blue eye. I must have asked on that very same day whose eye was that because damn if it hasn’t been the prettiest blue I’ve ever seen. I mean, I hadn’t told her that, but I was curious enough to ask. And as everyone and their grandmother might have guessed by now, it was hers.

Somehow (and I truly don’t know HOW), we got into the habit of talking every day, or at least very close to it. I got to know about her daily life, just one state south from where I live and sooooo much colder than what I had ever experienced. She went to a swiss school, fully bilingual, was the first in her year in the IB program which for the love of crap I didn’t even know it existed back then. Might not ever have known if I never met her. Eventually we exchanged phone numbers, and back then SMS messages were like 1,50 bucks for inter-state ones. Our mothers were not happy.

Around a year and a half went by this way. She became my best friend, my rock. We both had a shitton of problems in your high school lives and in our family lives, and we were so relieved to know there was someone out there we could share those with. In the meantime she ended up breaking up with her boyfriend, ironically just a few months before I had my very first kiss. When she broke up with her boyfriend she was absolutely devastated (they had been together almost a year or so), and relied on me a lot back then. Which I was more than happy to support because for the first time in my life I felt like I belonged somewhere. I felt like I was actually part of someone’s life. I didn’t feel like I ever bothered her, like I was ever intruding in her life. I felt like I was truly part of her world, like she actually remembered my existence when I was not around, and at now-16 years of age that had literally been the first time I had felt that. I never had a true friend before her. Not sure I ever did after her either.

On easter 2008 we finally convinced our moms to let us meet. Her family had a whole goddamn country house with a huge plot of land, so it was decided I was gonna visit her first. So I got semi-sedated and got into my first plane ride EVER, and for those of you that are reading this and know me (although I doubt anyone is reading at all), you know how terrified of planes I am. You know how BIG of a gesture it is for me to get into a fucking plane for the first time in my life for a person.

I already knew she was pretty. I mean, we had talked on the webcam a couple of times before (just a few times because the internet back then was really terrible). The blue eyes I mentioned, and the most fucking beautiful silky blonde hair you’ve ever seen. But when I saw her the first time on that airport it still took my breath away. Even more, what truly surprised me, was the huge smile she gave as soon as she saw me out of the gate and she rushed to hug me. I was paralyzed. I mean yes I was happy and hugged her back, which was a huge deal because back then I was not touchy feely at all (and she was VERY). But I was paralyzed. Because I had never in my entire 16 years of age seen anyone smile that big or that brightly at seeing me. Hell, I suppose I had never seen anyone smile that brightly at all. As the day progressed she was so legit happy that I was there, and I could never fully wrap my head around it. We drove to her house and her mom took the long way just so they could show me all the interesting spots in her city, and she shared tidbits of her daily life that I still didn’t know, despite us being so close, because those are the things you only learn by actually being next to the person irl. Later on she introduced me to her two best friends in school, and we all decided to watch a horror movie.

Yes, it’s THAT cliche.

Now, you see, I’m absolutely fucking impervious to horror movies. Yes I get jumpscared just as much as anyone else, but I don’t get scared. So I was sitting there a bit lowkey bored, narrating the entire plot of the movie and what would happen a few scenes before it did because the movie was just that easy to guess. And she had taken complete ownership of my left arm the entire time, being half super scared and half impressed I could guess every single thing on the plot. Later on she apologized for not letting go of my arm because she knew I wasn’t as touchy feely as she was, and I was once again taken aback because I come from a ridiculously touchy-feely country and NO ONE ever apologizes for it or respects my boundaries on it.

The next day we wake up bright and early to go to her ranch-thingy. She slept on top of me on the car almost all the way there. I must have woken up like a whole hour before her but didn’t move at all.

I’m a city slick. I’m a huge city slick, through and through. Which means I am both fascinated and absolutely terrified on any plot of grass bigger than a garden. And her country house was fucking amazing. I had only experienced the true freedom of being in nature a few times in my life, and she made sure to show me every nook and crane of the forest surrounding it. Because yes it was a forest and not a jungle like where I lived, and that made it all the more magical.

But the truly one magical thing in the entire 4-days weekend was the stars. You see, I am absolutely in love with the stars. It’s stupid to say something like this when I was retelling the greatest love story of my life, but the stars are my one true love. I got my first telescope when I was five years old. My mother cannot for the life of her explain where I got this obsession from. She always said I was already born that way. So I find myself for the first time in my life with the least amount of light pollution I’ve ever been subject to in my entire life (even nowadays). For the first time in my life I has actually been able to see the Milky Way with my own two eyes. And what made everything even more impressive was that it was a full moon, and the night sky still looked as incredible as it’s supposed to look. Honestly it might have been a great contender to the beauty of her blue eyes.

The moment I remember the most is us laying down on some beach towels (no idea why they had those in the countryside), stargazing for hours at end. By then we were two full states to the south of mine, so I believe the technical definition of what I was feeling is fucking freezing my inexistent balls off. I had gotten dressed in just some jeans and a tshirt way before the sun set, and I was dammed if I was gonna interrupt our stargazing to go put on some decent clothes. I remember her asking a few times if I was cold, and I also remember myself lying through my teeth saying I had gotten used to it by then. Blatant lies, my nipples could cut through fucking glass at the moment. But I wasn’t gonna interrupt it because it was just the two of us on a grassy clearing, her family was at least 200m away and we couldn't even hear them anymore and it was just us and the stars and her hands were so close to mine that I could feel the heat (the only source of it for my beach-town ass I suppose). It was the perfect fucking moment. The moment most people dream of having their entire lives. I have no idea how long we stayed there, but it was a few hours for sure. Her mom had to call us back inside, and nothing broke my heart more. We talked about anything and everything. I told her what I knew of astronomy and I could see for the first time I was fascinating her with knowledge. Because I had always felt and will always feel like a peasant in the presence of a princess when it comes to her. With how cultured and educated and just fucking smart she always had been. But as I told her of the constellations (sometimes grabbing her hand to point to the stars and make her spot them better), and proclaimed my love for the night sky, she listened. She listened and I had never felt heard before in my life. She listened and I felt I had managed to make her fall in love with the stars a little bit by just talking about them.

She listened and I felt I had managed to make myself fall in love in her a little bit by just seeing the way she looked at me as I talked.

All good things come to an end and time had come for me to go back home. I will never forget how she hugged me goodbye on that same airport. Where I had seen the brightest smile on my life and now I could see she was holding back tears for me. Because I was leaving. I was important enough in someone’s life that they were about to cry because I wasn’t going to be around anymore. She way she whispered “I’m gonna miss you so much” on my ear, on such a low note I am sure it was just so her mother wouldn’t hear her, and her voice will haunt me for the rest of my life. She told me a few days later that she did cry on her way to school that morning.

After this it was near impossible to not be with her at all times. We texted constantly, and used to talk like 2 whole hours on the phone before bed. Once again I must remind you this was 2008 so it was no cheap business. Her mother started to try to separate us a bit, insisting she didn’t contact me as much, even tho I was sure the one who could not afford those phone bills, not her. It all culminated on what was ironically (or perhaps planned by her mother?) brazilian Valentine’s day (we are the only country in the world that celebrates in on St. Anthony’s day, which is June 12th). It was the first day in almost two years we didn’t talk at all, because of how much her mother had nagged her about it. The next day we talked as if we had been separated by a war for a decade.

I’m gonna take a break here to let everyone know that no, I did not think I was in love with her back then. I don’t think she knew either, but it’s hard to tell.

Her mother planned her entire july winter break to the minute just so she could spend the least amount of time in my house as possible. We got 5 days instead of the previous 4. But her mother came up with a ridiculous amount of trips for the family. She visit 3 different countries (and a whole different state inside her own country) within 30 fucking days. That’s how bad it had gotten then. Our SMSs had to be cut down to just two or three a day because of it.

But it didn’t matter. It didn’t matter because when she arrived at my house (her family had insisted in meeting mine before letting her stay) I was able to see from three floors up how brightly she had smiled at seeing me again.

I’ll make this part short: we stayed cooped inside blankets the entire time, playing on my PS2. It was so ridiculous that my mom, maaaany years later, told me she usually left the house for hours at time just to give us an opportunity of finally doing something about our very obvious feelings. Unlike the trip we took to her ranch, this one was filled with 3am deep existencial talks. And unlike the other trip, we spent the whole time sleeping on the same bed. Not a whole lot happened other than us dancing around the obvious feelings and how to deal with being so close to each other.

Nothing beside the very last morning together. I remember always waking up after her, because that’s just how we were. I remember she was already up, reading this book in fucking german of all things. It had been the first day of the entire week we had a meager ray of sunshine. And the way my window and ourselves were positioned, the sun was shinning directly on her. I woke up to the vision of an angel. I had never seen hair in such a warm bright color. I had never seen eyes that were the living embodiment of a spring afternoon sky. I woke up and her propped up on a couple of pillows, reading under the weak morning sun was the first thing I saw. It was the first thing I saw and I could swear I was still dreaming.

Because for the first time in all this, I could not contain and muffle the voice inside my head that was screaming: I want to wake up next to this every single day for the rest of my life.

It was the last time I woke up next to her for the rest of my life.

To my credit I did shake off my daze from the sight quite fast. I had gotten so good to drowning out these feelings that I was great at putting my poker face back up. We talked, we had breakfast, we let ourselves feel a bit sad about her leaving.

Then, just about half an hour before we actually had to go shower to take her to the station, it happened. The one moment that made me feel confident this all wasn’t just in my head. It all wasn’t just wishful thinking of a lonely pathetic girl who got way too bullied in high school.

We were having an impromptu pillow fight cause why not. That’s how girls who are secretly in love handle their feelings after all. It’s universal I think. And, well, on the overall 9 days we spent together irl I never actually beat her once because I’m just that much of a noddle. But this one fight we were both in bed, with weak footing and etc. You can see where this is going.

So on a scene to rival any anime, or that one gif of girls playing handball that fall on top of each other, she fell on top of me. Well, did she fall? I don’t know. For all I know, she planned.

And we had the moment. The gaze. Those few indescribable seconds of your life that you’re always gonna remember like yesterday, no matter how old you get. She had each of my hands pinned to the side of my head, and at first I thought we were still fighting so I just struggled and laughed and was saying stuff like “get off me ya psycho!”. But then I looked up. I looked up and.

And then I felt it. I felt everything her eyes were telling me. She wasn’t playing with me anymore. She was staring at me as if she already knew it was going to be the last time. She was staring at me as if it was a love story because it was. She was staring at me as if her entire existence, as if the whole oxygen on the earth itself depending on my presence.

She was staring at me like I has never been looked at before, or since. Even with a 3-years long relationship I had muuuch later on. No one had never, or will ever, look at me the way she looked at me.

And I froze. I froze because I had no idea what else to do. I froze because inside my head back then this was still wrong. Girls should not kiss. Girls should never kiss.

It was wrong.

It was so wrong, but nothing, not a single piece of bigot ramble ever uttered in history would make me feel more scared than losing my best friend. Nothing in the world scared me more than losing her.

Could I cross this boundary? Did she want to? Or was it just a spur on the moment thing?

But then she stared at my lips and I could not help but lick my own. Out of instinct, out of craving, out of love.

To the risk of getting an angry mob to my house right now, no, we did not kiss.

In fact, I dont quite remember the next few seconds at all. It had been single the most intense moment in my life at this point. It is still one of the most intense moments I’ve ever experienced. I completely blanked out of how I actually got pulled out of it and back into the land of living. Next thing I know we are sitting on opposite sides of the bed, trying to move away from the awkwardness. We did manage, in a couple of minutes. and things went back to normal between us.

But things would never be back to normal within me.

I’m gonna take a pause here to point out I’m bisexual. So like every bisexual, I am a very confused person. Cause you see, the moment you figure out you're bisexual it’s so much more confusing than figuring out you're fully homosexual. Because in the moment, things don’t just click. Things dont just start to magically make sense. I was 16 and I had absolutely liked guys before. Was it with this intensity? No because I was fucking 16. She was the first person I was been truly in love with. But I know it in my soul that if she was a dude I would love her with the exact same intensity. This particular discourse took me another three years to solve, but I digress.

And then she left.

She left and, like I said, her mother had programed her entire july milimetrically so we could be as far apart as possible. She left my house straight back to her ranch, not even her own house, And they have no internet there, so no MSN. Just a single 30-minutes phone call a day, for the 4 days after we had spent the entire week cooped up in bed inside blankets and playing lame-ass RPGs. And then right after that she left for germany for two full weeks. But before that particular trip, she did manage to get home. She got home to a letter of her grandma that read...

Well to be honest I cannot tell you what it read exactly. Because she was extremely vague about it when telling me. But it was enough to destroy her. It was enough to make her think that her grandma would not want anything to do with her anymore and it was based off somewhat new events. It doesn’t take a fucking genius to figure out the full contents of the letter. Her family is from the brazilian Bible Belt. But back then, at 16, confused as fuck, and already preemptively heartbroken, I legit had no idea what it said. She was vague and I didn’t want to pry. I just wanted to make her stop crying. I just wanted to put that beautiful smile back in her face but on that day I could feel her slipping away for the first time.

The rest of the story takes place in just a bit under two months. Maybe 6 weeks at most.

She goes to germany and finds a boyfriend, as one does. She leeches on this boy like a lifeline, but never stops texting me our 3 international texts we were allowed daily. In fact, the first thing she did after kissing him was pulling off her phone as texting me.

You can imagine how well this guy takes it.

Now, she goes back to brasil and this guy actually lives somewhat close to her. It’s a doable relationship. Once they both have access to internet and MSN again, and she is fast to introduce us, so happy that both of the most important people in her life are meeting. Even tho they had been together for like 3 weeks at this point.

I’m ok with it because, well, I still hadn’t figured myself out. I know no one will believe this, but I honestly did not feel jealousy. In fact, it was almost relief. Relief that I would not need to look into my feelings any further than I had back in july. I was happy for her. She seemed genuinely happy with this guy, and so was I.

And then Independence Day weekend comes and hell starts to... well, not break loose, but certainly get weaker on the seams. In here Independence Day is on September 7th, but both on my city and hers there's a city holiday on the 8th. On that year it ended up getting us a 4-day weekend again, and obviously I thought I was the one who was gonna be invited to visit her. I has been counting on it, planning for it.

Two weeks or so before that she informs me that she wants to invite her boyfriend over instead of it, which is like. Ok. Fair. But for the first time in this entire story I felt jealousy. Because that ranch, those stars, that sky... it was our place. I did not wanna share those experiences I had with her with anyone else. But I kept quiet of course, because how could I not? I tell her “yeah it’s a bit upsetting because I was hopping we could see each other, but I am genuinely happy you get to spend time with him!”

She ghosts me in that week.

To this day, 12 years and 2 months later, I do not know why. I do not know how. I know her grandma called again when she learned the boyfriend was gonna come over and not me, but that’s all.

She ghosted me before ghosting was even a thing. So I had no other social parameter to deal with the situation. I will never forget the absolutely heart wrenching pain I felt when I figured out she had blocked me on MSN. It’s indescribable.

It’s indescribable because she was the first person I felt like actually gave a flying fuck if I lived of died, if I was happy or if I cried. And she had up and decided to fucking cut me out her life without a single fucking word of explanation. One night everything was fine, we even had a group chat with her boyfriend. The next day she is gone forever. I don’t know, nor I think I will ever learn what triggered it. What was the last fucking draw, the last fucking prejudiced word directed at her that made her do it.

My world had been full of color, full of life, and even if literally everyone around me in real life would be so much happier if I didn’t exist (back then I DID NOT get along with my mother), she had seemed this entire time to be so much happier with me around. She was the one person who liked my existence. And literally overnight, I wake up and my world is empty. My world is empty and my air is missing and I don’t fucking know why.

It’s been 12 years and I still don’t know why.

Her boyfriend harassed me a bit back on orkut. Like, I have no idea why. It was unprompted. But it does give you a big fucking clue does it now?

I haven’t gotten a single word from her ever again. I know she’s alive, that’s not the fucking point of the story. I know because I tried to contact her again through every fucking means possible. I even sent her a letter of all things for fuck’s sake. When facebook came along I found her there too and sent her a message. Once 3 years after the fact, and then again 6 years after the fact. That was the last time I tried contacting her.

I cannot say I was “faithful”, so to speak. I cannot say she has been the only thing in my mind. I cannot say that I have not loved again, because I have. I had a serious 3-year relationship, as I mentioned. I had actual gay disasters stories in between. She has not remained the foremost thing in my mind. She has not remained my one true love. There were times where I spent months without thinking about her. Even silly crushes are enough to stray my thoughts away, to stray my heart away

But what worth are those times if I always go back to thinking of her as soon as I see myself without someone? What worth are those times where she is not in my mind, if she had never left my heart to begin with?

What worth is forgetting about her at times when she is my default setting?

I know what you're thinking. “you’re not in love with her, you’re in love with the idea of what could have been”. And you’re absolutely right. I know you are. I’m fully aware of it, of the implications of it, not only on my love life but my mental health.

But she has been the single most influential person in my life. She was the one that got me to writing. She was the one who made face my mother and have The Talk we needed for fucking 16 years about who my father was. Fuck, she is the sole responsible for setting my life on that path, and all the domino effect of events that happened because of the decision of talking to my mother about it. She was the one that made me figure out I was bisexual. Not a lesbian, definitively not straight, but not gay either. Bisexual, out and proud.

She was my first love.

She was my first love and she is the one that makes me give some credit to the saying “at the end of your life you will see you’ve fallen in love with the same person over and over again”.

She was my first love and she makes me go fucking crazy enough to give the whole “soulmates” concept a decent thought, because this cannot have been natural. Loneliness cannot explain the entire thing. It cannot explain how ridiculously drawn I was to her right away. Attraction doesn’t explain it either. It cannot explain how insanely synced up I’ve always felt to her. How insanely connected.

I’m not gonna lie, I loved my ex. Truly and deeply. They were the only person to ever treat me respect, and I felt almost as connected to them as I did to her. Almost.

If we are getting technical, I felt, like, 95% synced up with them. Which is more than the vast majority of humankind can only dream of feeling.

But it was not 100%.

There has only been one person in my life that I have felt 100% connected with. One person in my life I have not been able to shake away, have not been able to get over. Oh I have moved on. I have moved on and moved back in and then moved on again. Many times, over and over.

But I have not gotten over you. I will never get over you. What happened. How it ended. You were my biggest heartbreak. You were my biggest love story, and I didn’t even get to live it.

You make me so illogical that I sincerely hope there is a next life out there. One we can meet, sit down, and talk.

I’m sure you are a completely different person right now. I am a completely different person too. And it is insane, it is illogical, and it is immature to think that these two completely different people would still have any vestige of a thing in common like we did as kids. Because we were kids. We were kids and now we are both adults, and have a single damn thing changed?

A whole fuckton of them changed. Seasons changed. Years changed. The entire fucking world changed. I have changed more than you can possible imagine a person would in 12 years.

But you being the default setting of my heart has not changed. No matter how “unfaithful” I’ve been to you. No matter how much I will keep on living not being attached to you. No matter how much I know at some point I will forget you, forget this feeling, and bask into the pleasure of a new love. No matter how much at some point I will surely think “wow, what a crazy bitch I was back then, with all these feelings for a random girl who certainly doesn’t even remember I exist”.

And that’s one of my biggest fears you see. Cause for me you are half the fucking book. For me you’re the constant element that comes back when sea is calm and things are ok.

And I fear that to you I was nothing more than a line, maybe a throwaway paragraph in your life.

[rainey-staerie-daize]

A multi-day journal entry because it’s been a few: 03.10.21

Went for a nice walk around the neighborhood on Saturday because I felt like being outside and not at home. Found out where exactly Xan’s school is and how to get to it because I may or may not have to drop him off if Mom is scheduled extra days this month. Passed lots of houses and found out how all the nearby streets connect. Would've taken artsy pics except I forgot to take a phone with me. Met two or three tiny dogs and two big dogs at two different houses, and they all barked at me as I said hello. Oh, and one guy in a truck with tons of oranges in the back asked me if I wanted to buy some, but I declined. COVID-19, no money on me, and I don’t really like oranges all that much anyway because of the texture. Also passed by a house that was for sale with a kitchen sink that faces the front yard. There was a faucet zip-tied in its box in one side of it, and it’s the same faucet we have: Glacier Something, that detaches as a sprayer.

Getting to Xan’s school was kinda rocky for me because I was wearing my bad, thin-soled flats and I didn’t realize that there was a paved path on the other side of the wash until I got to the end at the school. Partway, I went to take off the mask because nobody was around and I needed all my depth perception, but one side broke as I did, so I spent a few minutes awkwardly standing at the end of the path as I retied my mask. Also tied my flannel shut because it’s too small to button, and it looked just a little odd with my AMBITION shirt and leggings.

Being at the school was kinda nostalgic, even though I never attended that specific one. Enough things were the same though: sun-faded signs, bike cage, playground equipment, fenced in area for the kindergarteners, portables in the back, a huge yellow field, clinking chains on the tetherball poles, and the silence of nobody else there but me.

Except, I wasn’t waiting for a parent to pick me up for once. I was there on my own free will. Other things that didn’t match my childhood include the entrance to the playground being nicely framed by four or so trees, a nice round gathering area painted like the sun around the flag pole, “welcome back” spelled out in blue Solo cups shoved into the bike cage fence, and one of the “no parking” signs by the drop-off area being scribbled out so it said “park here.” It was nice, and I yearn to be ten or younger again.

Partway through my little campus tour, it got a little windy, and I briefly thought about going home, but I ultimately decided to keep walking the same direction and circle my way back home. There’s a big dirt lot right next to the field fenced off, and then I could see the intersection that I’ve walked to the other way around before, so I headed over that way. Came across a shopping center with a bunch of stores, and looked at each one as I passed them. Was able to see inside of a dry cleaner place and look at the machines inside, but after the guy at the counter acknowledged my presence like I was a potential customer, I told him I had never seen inside one before and was just taking a walk, and kinda just... quickly walked away. The shopping center also had a Walmart Neighborhood Market, and I spotted a wild dark-haired Karen with no mask, that I felt was way to close to me. Probably three or four feet away, I don’t know. My depth perception sucks.

Rounding about the other end of the shopping center after looking at Panda Express, Denny’s, and a pizza place, I heard a familiar couple of notes come from one of the vehicles in the parking lot. The beginning notes of She’s a Beauty by The Tubes, which I almost never hear play on the radio or anything because it’s from the early 80s. Despite not being born until 2000, I know a few of their songs because my uncle is the bass player and I’ve been to a few of their concerts when I was younger.

So I started singing a bit as I was walking, and as it started getting more faint, I stopped walking, turned around, and cupped my right ear with my hand to keep listening. Pretty sure one guy looked at me like I was crazy, but I didn’t care. After it ended, or at least, I think it did, I continued on my way, the same route I use when I’m returning home from that street’s bus stop.

When I got home, Mom was out cold on her bed after the facial she did earlier. Skye later told me she never even noticed I left because she went straight to bed for an afternoon nap when she was done, never leaving her room.

I finally reset my sleep schedule enough to wake up at 4 AM on Sunday, which is good enough for me because I used to wake up then in high school anyway. I spent a while just waking up on the toilet, and then decided to do some light cleaning and picking up around the house to surprise Mom when she woke up. She never notices, but I didn’t care about that then.

After tidying up Kare’s hair accessories on the counter and finding her toothbrush still with toothpaste on it from the night before, I decided to rinse out her unicorn wash cloth sitting on the counter, and maybe clean up the toothpaste on the counter with it, but then Mom woke up from the couch. I got scared that she’d be mad I was doing stuff in her bathroom, so I snuck out to the other one. Was a little bored waiting for her to be busy with something so I could finish her counter, so I wiped down the counter of the bathroom I was in.

She tried to come in to get laundry, which startled me because I was right next to the door, and immediately spotted the unicorn cloth. She went off on me for using “something that she uses on her FACE” on the counters of all things. Briefly mentioned wiping the toilet, as if she thought that’s what I did before I walked in.

I didn’t even try explaining myself. Just stood there and let her yell. I know I got a little carried away with cleaning stuff, but like, it was soapy. It’s like Mom complaining that I used the dish sponge with antibacterial dish detergent on Roxie’s food bowls. It doesn’t make sense, but I was too tired and down on myself to care about her seeing my side.

During the visit, Skye and I stayed home and talked in our room, and I looked up that house I saw for sale. Not that nice, and currently off the market, but I found two others that I absolutely love. Kinda wish I’d had a job this entire time. Then maybe I could have enough money to put down a down payment and get one of them. Oh well.

Mom came home while the littles were still at the visit, and Skye and I both pretended to be asleep so we didn’t have to interact with her. Some of her behavior has seemed kinda... sus. I ended up falling asleep for real though, on the carpet, woke up briefly a few times, and finally got up at 1 AM.

Mom was still up, and told me how one of my old friends was trying to contact me but couldn’t because my phone was off, so I turned it back on and we talked for a while. I gave her my Google number in case my actual phone wasn’t working, and wished her a happy birthday, but she fell asleep before she saw the birthday message. Don’t remember much else of the day, except I turned in a Japanese quiz early and cleaned Roxie and her crate. Like always, cleaning took a while because I am very thorough, and because she pooped in the crate when I was washing her bowls. I had to rewash her and the crate floor, which, after last time, I now know slides TF out.

Ended it all with a hot bath for myself, which I fell asleep in. Woke up cold because half the water drained out through the faulty plug, so I ran it again, and fell asleep again. Woke up cold again, refilled it, and finally washed myself. Got out and was relieved to find Roxie and her “room” still clean, and I finished it off with her blankets and one of her beds from the dryer. I tried a new thing with the blanket where I tie one end (two corners) to the crate ceiling to almost make a tent, and she seems to like it.

Not counting the bath naps, I stayed up for over 24 hours, but didn’t realize why I was so damn tired until late Tuesday morning. Ended up falling asleep for a couple hours that afternoon, woke up for a while, and then went back to sleep at a decent time time at night, but I was woken up around 2:30 AM by Mom looking for her keys. She was panicking because March has blackout days and she’s already near her point limit, so being late could literally get her fired. She kept asking where I put them, since her purse and dealer apron were moved off of the crate by me to clean it, but I told her I hadn’t even seen them. I don’t think she believed me, because she still sounded like she was blaming me for not being able to find them.

Not my fault that you said “stop putting things on the dog crate,” and then you kept putting your own stuff on top of the dog crate, and then wanted me to clean it. Where the Hell was I supposed to put her stuff while I was cleaning it?

Skye eventually found her keys in the unlocked car, and she finally left, but was back by 4 AM because she signed the EO list. She tried to prank us when she came in by telling us she was fired, but I didn’t buy it because she wasn’t crying. Trust me, she’d be bawling her eyes out if that had actually happened.

Bringing us to Wednesday, I was a tired mess who’d done Duolingo all morning when I showed us to my Japanese lecture. I only remembered to do it because I heard Mom doing it. She’s apparently gonna learn Spanish.

I still have a few things to make up for that class, but at least I’ve finally organized my worksheets into homework packets. I’ve gone this long before remembering we own a stapler.

[yandere-society]

Hi. Classic bestfriends to lovers au with insecure yandere!JK who changes in the beggining of the relationship? Thank you sm!

Admin/Writer- Chinkbihh 

Trigger Warnings- Yandere, Violence, Unhealthy Relationship Behavior, Mention Of Split Personality

Word Count- 6.7k

Puppy Love

“And they called it puppy love, just because we’re seventeen…tell them all, oh please tell them it isn’t fair, to take away my only dream.”

“Jungkook, if you say what I think you’re going to say… then I’m gonna have to roundhouse kick you.”  

You glared at the doe-eyed boy as the warning left your lips in a mock menacing tone.

Jungkook held his hands up in surrender and gave you his traditional wide eyed innocent look when he knew he had successfully fucked with you.  

“I’m just saying, I really think you should give deep dish pizza a second chance.”  His breathy voice pleaded.

You rolled your eyes and turned your attention back to the assignment that you were meant to be working on.  Jungkook instead favored discussing what type of pizza to order tonight, knowing that he could push your buttons by mentioning your least favorite kinds.

“Kook, if I wanted to drink a jar of tomato sauce then I would’ve done it by now.”  You grumbled, trying to end this stupid argument before it got too out of hand. Sometimes you and Jungkook would have the biggest blowouts over the most unimportant things.  One time, you guys didn’t talk for a week because Jungkook had the audacity to bring you an onion bagel instead of your prefered rasin one.

Immature?  Yes.

But with that stupid bunny like grin that sparkled with mischievousness at every little bicker and trick he pulled, you couldn’t help but think he did it on purpose.  

So of course you fought back.  

But it never got too crazy.  

Jungkook and you were the best of friends.  

In a weird way, it was an opposites attract type of deal.  Jungkook was timid, a perfectionist and neat. On the other hand, you were outspoken, laid back and a tad messy.  Hell, you guys could’ve been your own sitcom. But it was simply just a good platonic friendship.

You were too boyish to have many girl friends.

Jungkook was a bit too shy to be part of the bro pack.  

Thus you found alliance within each other.  

That didn’t mean you didn’t have any moments of not wanting to punch him in the face.  

“Can you stop being an ass and help me with this problem?”  You moaned in misery, you had been on the same problem for ten minutes now with no solution.

Jungkook was a whiz with math meanwhile you were awful at it, like having dyslexia with numbers.  

Jungkook tilted his head and leaned over your desk, taking a good look at the problem before popping his head back up to smirk at you.  “I could…but why should I?”

You groaned and plopped your head face-first onto the desk.  You should’ve expected this, Jungkook never gave anything away for free.  You always had to bribe or blackmail him into doing anything helpful for you.  

Blackmail.

That’s it!

Acting as casual as one coul, you mumbled just loud enough for him to hear; “I guess I’ll have to ask that Namjoon kid for help.  He’s always getting straight A’s.”

1.

2.

3.

Like clockwork, Jungkook sprinted into action and snatched your paper away,

You looked up to see him with a pencil already in hand, scribbling down answers at lightning speed.

Secretly, you smirked.  

Worked like a charm.

You see, Jungkook had this weird overprotective thing with you.  It can best be described as what an older brother probably feels with a younger sister and boys.  All you had to do was threaten to hang out with a boy that wasn’t him, and Jungkook was putty in your hands.  

You must admit, you did abuse this power at times.  But you never took it too seriously.

Jungkook would never hurt anyone.  He was like a little puppy. And it wasn’t as if you had any serious intention of being with a guy, therefore it was all in good fun.  

When Jungkook was finished, he handed you back the paper.

You attrieved it, but while doing so Jungkook looked at you intensely and said; “You don’t need to run to other boys.”  

You chortled and stood up to pack your things.  “Yeah, yeah. I’ve heard this lecture before. All men only think with their dicks and I can only trust you.”

“It’s true (Y/n)!  You’re not in the boy’s locker room everyday, I am.  The things they talk about are disgusting and I don’t want you to be just one of these bastards’ tale to share.”  

You rolled your eyes and motioned for him to get up as well.  

“I wouldn’t put it past them.  C’mon, we gotta go. My mom wants me home early tonight.  So if we’re going to watch that movie then we better leave now.”  

–

Jungkook and you had a deal.  

You pick the pizza while he chose the movie.  

You readily agreed, already knowing that you wouldn’t eat whatever crap he would order just to spite you.  

So there you two sat, in his dark room as the screen glowed with some stupid action movie that Jungkook had probably seen hundred times already.  

It was kinda cute really, the way Jungkook’s eyes would light up or how he would mouth ‘woah’ everytime the good guy would do a cool move while defeating the evil dude.  He was like a nine year old fanboy of some dumb superhero.

You personally didn’t care for the film, so when you felt your phone buzzing, you felt no guilt in checking whom it was.  

You pulled out the device quietly, making sure to lower the brightness to not disturb Jungkook’s viewing.  He tended to get cranky when he caught you on your phone during movies.

Briefly, you took a peek from the safety of your notifications screen.

It was a DM from one of your social media accounts.  

The sender?  

Park Jimin.  

You inwardly face palmed as that name rung a familiar bell.  

To be honest, you were surprised it took him this long to reach out to you.  

He must have run out of girls to bother.  

Park Jimin was one of school’s biggest fuckboys.  The boy had more dick pics floating around than followers.  And that was saying something. A lot of girls had fucked him, half of them were just worn down by his constant begging for some pussy.  The other half genuinely thought he was attractive and wanted to hop on that dick. You couldn’t deny it though, Jimin was indeed good looking.  To bad he had a walnut for a brain and most likely more STDS than letters in the alphabet.

You clicked on the notification to see the message.  The choice was centered on the fact that you were curious and would’ve loved a good laugh.  

‘Heyy ;)’ it read, intentions somehow loud and clear.  

You couldn’t help but giggle.  How fucking orginal was this guy?!  It was as if he had the fuckboy for dummies book right beside his phone and was using it to start this conversation.  

‘Gee never heard that one before.  Not like most guys huh?’’ You texted back.  Might as well fuck with him…

“Who are you texting?”  

Your head snapped up to see Jungkook facing you, face wiped off of any amusement and movie long forgotten, focused solely on you.  Or more importantly…the phone in your hand.

You had been caught.  

“N-no one.”  You stuttered and tried to shuffle away to shield the screen.  

Bad choice.  

Jungkook leapt for your phone and with the obvious advantage for strength, he managed to pry the phone from your hand.  He stood up to his full height and positioned the phone over his head, looking up to read the screen and ignoring your eager jumping to get the device.  

Curse his height.  

You watched with dread as Jungkook’s face grew more grim as he without a doubt took note of who reached out to you.  

He was still for a moment.  

Creepily still.

You then watched in horror as Jungkook began typing something onto your phone.  

“Jungkook what the fuck?1”  You shrieked as he sent his message and tossed your phone back to where you two had been sitting.  

“No, what the fuck Y/n?!  Park Jimin, seriously?!” He yelled, his face growing red as his inky black eyes glared at you.  

“He messaged me and I literally sent something back for fun.  You’re acting like I’m trying to be his wife or something.” You couldn’t believe how absurd he was being.  Did he genuinely think you were trying to seriously talk to such a notorious fuck boy? How could your best friend think so low of you?

“You shouldn’t be responding to boys at all, Y/n.”  he huffed this out as if it was obvious.

Your eyes widened in shock at his own audacity to say something so blatantly wrong.  He had said ‘boys’….as in all males in general and not just Jimin. Now it wasn’t like you had any intention of getting a boyfriend or something, but to know that Jungkook wouldn’t even support you being with a decent guy just because he had such a deep rooted hatred towards his fellow gender was blood boiling.

“Jungkook, you can’t tell me who I can and cannot respond to.  And newsflash; I’m going to probably have a boyfriend one day and maybe get married in the future so you better accept that or stop being friends with me!” you yelled at him.  

His face crumpled in despair and instead of looking livid like we was before, he just looked depressed as if he just received soul crushing news.  You watched in bewilderment as unshed tears began to make his orbs look more glossy as his lips morphed from a snarl to a frown as his lips wobbled.  

“You-You don’t understand, Y/n.  I can’t let you be with any other guy.”  He choked.

Jungkook wasn’t usually a sensitive guy, you rarely ever saw him cry so this sight was new territory for you.  However you also were still angry. Why was he being so unreasonable? You thought it was obvious that you were going to marry someone one day.  You also thought it was obvious that one day Jungkook would find a nice girl and marry her. You could go to each other’s weddings and give speeches…why did he suddenly act like this was the end of the world?  What did he think was going to happen? That you two were just going to live out your days watching stupid action movies and video games until one of you croaks?

“Jungkook, what’s wrong?  Of course I’m going to get a husband one day.  Just like you’ll get a lovely wife one day. Maybe we’ll meet them in college or something and go on double dates.  I would be so happy for you. Won’t….won’t you be happy for me?” You trailed off at the end, watching closely as Jungkook’s face only got more and more dejected with every word you spoke.  

Your heart dropped as he avoided your eyes and your question.

He wouldn’t be happy for you….

You rolled your eyes and rushed to get your things before going home.  

So maybe your best friend wasn’t that good of a friend after all.  How tragic. Maybe you should’ve heeded the warnings given earlier.  You should’ve known something was up with how ‘overprotective’ he was.  

You gathered your things and was about to head to the door when Jungkook panicked and began to mumble incoherently.  You attempted to tune this out and reached the door, until he exploded with something that made you freeze in your tracks.  

“I like you, okay?!  I fucking like you and I don’t want you to be with another guy that isn’t me!”  

Silence.  

All that you heard was the sounds of your pounding heartbeat and his frantic panting after he just said something that could possibly ruin your friendship.

You took a deep breath and twisted the doorknob before walking out of it.  

Only on your way home did you allow yourself to send a text to Jungkook.  

‘I hope you’re a better boyfriend than you are a best friend.  FWI if our first date is a mortal combat night I’m literally dumping you.’

–

Dating Jungkook was not much different than being best friends with him.  

Surprisingly, the banter and casual playfulness amongst you two never stopped.  

Sometimes Jungkook would try to be ‘manly’ and ‘gentlemanly’ while doing something he thought was ‘romantic’, but that would only like about 5 seconds before you both fell into a giggly mess.  You guys never took yourselves too seriously and simply enjoyed each other’s company.

However, something was a bit different  

He became a bit more…present in your life.  

One day, you were complaining to him about how you had just started the swim unit in gym.  He didn’t seem to have a problem with it (even jokingly asked if he can get bikini pics) until you mentioned that the class was co-ed and the guys liked to be jerks and do constant cannonballs  in the pool.

His face dropped so fast.  

“What?  There’s boys in there?”  He asked incredulously.

You just nodded, pretty sure everyone knew that all the gym classes in your school weren’t separated by gender.  

He then proceeded to demand that you put on some type of shirt and shorts over your bathing suit because he didn’t want anyone ‘looking at you like that’.  Whatever that meant….nonetheless you agreed just to shut him up. You thought that this would be the end of it.

Nope.  

The first day of the unit was the teacher just going through some basic pool rules before the students would hop in the next day.  You were in the middle of listening to the dumb lecture about caution in the deep end when you felt your phone buzz within your pocket.  You looked up to make sure the teacher was too engrossed to what they were saying before you pulled out your phone to see who it was.

It was Jungkook.

‘Are u in gym rn?’  

‘…..yes, why?’  

‘Send me a pic of the boys in your class.’  

‘Im sorry WHAT?’

‘I wanna see the guys in your class so I know what i’m dealing with if they see too much.’

‘Jungkook….pls reread the text you just sent and tell me you know how crackheadie you sound.’

‘I’m not playing around Y/n.  Send me pic. How am I supposed to know they’re not fuck boys?’

You briefly glanced at the other side of the room where the majority of the boys were sitting, grouped up together in some weird testosterone cluster/pack.  You scoffed after scanning their faces and almost giggled at how ludicrous Jungkook’s suspicion was.

‘Fine, see for yourself.’  you sent before you carefully took a quick snap of the boys and delivered it to him.  

You smirked as you saw Jungkook’s three little dots pop up only to disappear again, hinting that he was having trouble sending out another message.  

‘See?  It’s just soundcloud rappers and nerds.  I don’t think you have to worry ;)’ you tauntingly sent back to him.  

“Miss (L/n), please do explain why you have your phone out.”  

Your head snapped up as you stuffed the phone back into your pocket for safe-keeping.  

“Sorry Mrs. Bennett.”

–

Jungkook had you on your phone much more often too.  

He was in constant contact with you 24/7, and if you didn’t answer a text or call in time then you’d never hear the end of it.  

“I just don’t understand why it takes you forever and a day to answer a fucking snap Y/n.”  Jungkook huffed over facetime one night.

You rolled your eyes as you positioned your phone so you could comfortably get into your bed while not ruining his viewing of you.  “Kook for the last time pal, I was in the shower.”

“Still.”  He childishly pouted.   “You need to answer your phone more consistently.  How am i supposed to know if you’re alright or not if I can barely get ahold of you?”

You snorted as you nuzzled your pillow and brought your phone closer to your face.  “Jungkook, my phone literally dies like 5 times a day because of how often I’m on it with you.”  

“I hate not being with you all the time.”  He groaned. A sudden text notification popped up on your screen, you clicked on it and a reaction from Jungkook was instantaneous.  “Hey! What did I say about going on pause while we’re on facetime? If I wanted to look at a blank screen and not my beautiful girlfriend I would be doing that right now!”  He whined.

“It’s my cousin, kook.”  you blandly answered while reading over the message you just received.

“What do they want?”  he wasn’t pleased with anything that stole your attention.  World War Three could break out and he’d still want to be your main priority.  

“It’s her birthday this weekend and she wants me to go to her birthday party.”  You told him while clicking back to the facetimes screen to face his pouty expression.  

Your cousin was the same age as you but she attended another highschool and had other friends from that school.  For this reason, whenever she invited you to hang out with them you would always decline given you knew none of them.  But since it was her birthday party, you supposed you could put aside your awkwardness to celebrate with her.

“I thought we were going to that new cafe this weekend!”  he interjected, brows scrunching in frustration as he also got into his bed.  

“Jungkook I’m pretty sure our little coffee date won’t take 48 hours.”  you laughed.

His face melted into a expression of seriousness as he leaned towards the camera and stared at you with a dreamy gaze.  

“I never thought we’d end up together.”  He whispered, seemingly enchanted by your laugh with his previous frustrations forgotten.  

You blushed under the intensity of his gaze.  

It was quiet for a moment as you just let him study you with the adoration practically drowning you from across the screen.  He tended to do this often too; compley zone out and only focus on you no matter where he was or what he’s doing.

“Y/n?”  

“Yeah?”

“….you have a booger.”  

–

“Everyone is already here!  Y/n where are you?” Your cousin asked over the phone.  

You huffed and rushed apologizes through the receiver as you ransacked your closet in search of a dress to wear.  “I’m so sorry (c/n). I swear I lost track of time.”

This was a lie given that you were just at Jungkook’s house and he refused to let you leave his hold even after you pointed out that you were going to be late.  He needed his cuddles or else heads were gonna roll. His words, not yours.

“Whatever, be here as soon as possible.  My friends are stoked to meet you.” She told you before hanging up.  

You hastily tried to get ready and make yourself presentable under such a harsh time crunch.   When you were done you quickly ran out the door.

–

Jungkook hated the term ‘highschool sweetheart’.  

It was so offensive to him.  

It gave the implication that the love wasn’t serious or as valid as older people’s romances.  He hated it for it was such an umbrella term to shrug off the emotions people like Jungkook felt when he was with you- all because of his age.  But whenever he spent time with you or even just looked at you; he knew deep down that you were his soulmate. He knew that husbands who have been married to their wives for years could not hold a candle to the devotion he had for you.  

He was so relieved that you let him be your boyfriend, it was becoming so tiresome to have to play the ‘friend’ role.  He finally felt free to express his true thoughts and feelings with you due to no barrier of misunderstanding.

He was your boyfriend now.

The only man you should be with in a romantic way.  

He knew the relationship between you two was becoming more and more serious.  He could feel the intimacy grow whenever he was with you. Somehow, Jungkook found it hard to think he could ever be so vulnerable or real with anyone else.  The ‘awkward’ stage so many talked about was simply nowhere to be seen with you. You were comfortable and fit by his side like a puzzle piece. It was like you were made for him and the humorous and warm hearted banter never left because you two were just so….in sync.  

The moments he spent with you made him feel so delirious with joy that he quickly found himself experiencing withdrawals whenever he wasn’t near you.  

You were such a beautiful, smart and funny girl that he couldn’t help the paranoia that ate at him whenever you weren’t by his side.  Only a blind man wouldn’t be able to see what a angel you were. So of course he had a primal urge to keep what was his, his. He somehow just knew that when he wasn’t near you, other men were eyeing you with gazes that he should only be directing at you.  It was downright blasphemous for such things to be allowed.

The only way he could soothe his pandemonium of rushing thoughts is if he could talk to you.  So obviously he bombarded you with texts and snapchats to get his reassurance that you belonged to him.  He knew you noticed the change within him. It didn’t take a genius to figure it out. Yet Jungkook wasn’t embarrassed by his growing clinginess, surely if you had a problem with it then you would have voiced it by now?  But you didn’t, you seemed annoyed by it at times but it was a more fond type of annoyance as you only laughed and brushed it off. This was the only green light Jungkook needed to continue his obsessive streak.

He needed you by his side.

He finally got you by some sheer dumb luck that decided to take pity on Jungkook and gift him with the most flawless human being he’s ever encountered.  

He’d have to be a madman to let anything take you away after barely getting you himself by the skin of his teeth.  

When he wasn’t with you, he was thinking of the next time he would be with you.  

Thus here he was, pacing his bedroom while pulling on his messy raven strands and trying to ignore the sensation of his own skin smothering him.  

Only hours ago, you had been in his room; blessing it with your addicting perfume and honeyed voice as you cuddled with him.  His arms still tingled with anticipation to feel your impeccable body mold wonderfully against his once again, but he reminded himself with a cry that you were ripped away from him.  

You had to leave in order to go to your cousin’s party.  

He decided to be merciful and let you go with as little fuss as he could muster.  Your cousin was your family and even he was aware of his inability to completely take you away from them.  But now as the time passed, Jungkook was beginning to regret his decision. He should’ve just told you to send a card or something, that way he wouldn’t have to be spending his saturday night all alone in the shadow of your former presence.

He had pleaded with you to at least give updates.  You had laughed and told him that you would most likely be home early but you’d try to text him when you could.  This gave him some comfort, but it was quickly melted away when the night went on and he still had an empty inbox.

Were you hurt?

Did you forget about him?

Did you find someo-

No.

Jungkook wildly shook his head side to side and tried to end that train of thought.  He couldn’t let himself think like that. If he allowed himself to ponder the likelihood of someone else stealing you, he’d most likely punch his wall in rage.  

Maybe your phone is just low on battery?

Yeah!  That must be it.  

However a sudden ding sounded from his phone and shut down this idea.  It wasn’t a text from you, but it was a notification he had set for all of your social media account. Hastily, Jungkook rushed to the precious device to drink up whatever info he could possibly get on you.

It was your snapchat.

He clicked on the little circle that showed you recently added to you story and studied that image with great focus.  

It was  group photo of all the party guests posing for a picture while the birthday girl grinned and held up the cake in front of them.  

Jungkook’s young, black and glossy eyes skimmed through the faces with great intensity.  Until the phone in his hands began to shake.

–

The party turned out to be pretty decent, your cousin’s friends welcomed you and were overall very nice people.  You found out quickly that It was strictly a teenage party, your aunt and uncle weren’t home and one of the friends managed to bring some alcohol for the event.  Although you liked your cousin’s friends, they seemed liked they partied often which was a sentiment you could not relate to.

You declined every offer for a drink but still conversed and participated in any way that you could.  That was until your phone started ringing like crazy; demanding your attention.

You quietly excused yourself and went to the bathroom for the seclusion that couldn’t be found anywhere else in the house.  

It was Jungkook.  

You pulled the phone to your ear and quietly answered; “hey, what’s up Kook-”

“Who the fuck were those people on your story?”  He growled over the line, interrupting your greeting.

“Umm…what are you talking about?  It’s just my cousin’s friends.” You responded, confused.  

“I thought it was going to be a family type of celebration….” your boyfriend whined.

Your eyebrows shot up at that.  “Kook, I never said that.”

You heard a tired exhale as he probably realised that you indeed hadn’t lied to him.  You had hopes that he would recognized how unreasonable he was being and apologize or at least hang up but instead he said; “I want you home.  Now.”

“Tough shit bro.  You’re not my dad and there’s no reason for you to demand me to come home.”  

“Y/n, I saw the beer bottles in the pictures and I know there’s multiple guys there.  What if they take advantage of you? You look gorgeous in that dress and I’m sure at least one of them has taken notice.”  

“I’m with you, you idiot!  You can’t even trust me to attend a party on my own?!”  You shrieked, baffled by his ignorance.

“Of course I trust you but I know jack shit about those guys there and liquor almost never helps any situation!”  

“I…can’t even talk to you right now.  I haven’t had a single drink and all the guys here have been keeping their distance while still talking to me.  You’re just being a jealous jackass.” you huffed.

“Y/n don’t han-”  you clicked the ‘end’ button  and exited the bathroom.

You tried to forget the whole conversation, but it was clawing away at you even after the call.  Jungkook was usually a nice and reasonable guy, but his temper was slowly decreasing after you had agreed to be his girlfriend.  When you were with Jungkook and no one else was around, he was back to being that sweet and playful guy you have know all along. But if anyone else (particularly men) was around you?  He morphed into a paranoid asshole who’s suspicion was spared for no one. It was exhausting having to keep up with two split personalities. You never felt like you were doing the right thing unless you locked yourself away to prevent Jungkook’s possessive streak.  But you were a smart girl and obviously you were aware of how unhealthy this was. Yet you wanted to see the best in him, he wasn’t always like that and as his first girlfriend he probably didn’t know how to properly filter his emotions.

You continued to laugh and talk to the other guests but there was a constant buzzing of your phone from your pocket.  

Jungkook wasn’t giving up and he continued to send text after text.  But you were also stubborn and you refused to look at them. You didn’t want to enable his behavior any further than you already have.  Maybe this was just your first ‘fight’ as a couple but to you it was deeper than that.

The messages couldn’t be ignored for too long.  You had to check the time on your phone and the home screen was littered with texts from Jungkook.  Your eyes briefly went over them but the most recent one caused your stomach to drop.

‘If you don’t come home in the next thirty minutes, I’m telling your mom what those kids are doing at the party.’  

You bit your lip to suppress yelling at the device in anger.  

You couldn’t believe that he would blackmail you like that!  Just to get you away from the boys he deemed a ‘threat’. He would cut your night short just to satisfy his stupid little male ego.  Naturally, you wanted to tell him to fuck off and that he couldn’t control you. But, you knew that Jungkook didn’t bluff and you couldn’t risk your mother finding out what was happening around you at the party.  Plus she would most likely tell your aunt and uncle and that would be opening a whole other can of worms. With a huff you got up and began your search for your cousin, hoping she could give you a ride home.

Said family member was dancing wildly on her kitchen table, laughing loudly as her friends down below cheered her on.  You eyed this scene with a frown, knowing right away that she was far too drunk to drive safely.

How the fuck were you supposed to get home now?  

It was too late, far and dark for you to walk.  

You were screwed.  

“You good?”  

You turned around to see one of your cousin’s friends standing next to you.  You recalled getting introduced to him earlier, his name was Max and he seemed like one of the more mellow ones of the group.  You smiled at him despite being sure that he just saw you inwardly panicking. “Um, no actually. (C/n) was my ride home and something just came up so…”  

Max looked over at the dancing girl and cringed.  “Yeah, I wouldn’t want her on the road either.”

You groaned and pulled out your phone. “I guess I can just uber home.”

“Nonsense!  I can take you home.”  He offered with a grin.  

–

“I cannot thank you enough for this, Max.”  

He laughed as he pulled into your house, “It’s no problem, really.  I was also gonna leave anyway.”

It was quiet for a moment in the car as you tried to form the words to say goodbye while also confirming your gratitude.

“No seriously, you didn’t have to.  I’m forever in your debt.” You joked while opening your door to step out.  When you were fully out, you bent down to wave goodbye once more before slamming the door close to begin your jog to your front door.  

You were just a few feet from your door when you heard the sound of a car opening and a shout, “Hey, can I get your snap or something?”  

You turned around to see Max had gotten out of his car and was holding out his phone, most likely hoping you’d go back and put in your information.  

You shrugged and figured that it was the least you could do for him.  

But you halted your steps forward when you caught a flurry of movement from your peripheral.  

All you could see was a figure wearing black that had emerged from the bushes and was striding toward Max.

It was moving really fast and had jumped onto the unsuspecting man, knocking him to the ground.  

You watched in horror as a storm of fists began assaulting Max with such animalistic ferocity that you couldn’t help but scream.  

You raced forward out of instinct to help the victim.  

Max groaned and tried to put up his hands as barriers to the beating but it was no use as the attacker seemed much stronger and was already straddling him.  Soon, blood made a appearance as the attacker broke Max’s nose with more punches. It sprayed everywhere as you moved to shove the guy off.

Your desperate attempts to knock the male off Max seemed to have little effect, the man being big and sturdy while having such focus on beating this guy to near death.  

However one of your pushes managed to pull down the hood of this attacker.  

It was Jungkook.

His usual innocent and boyish face was overshadowed with a barbaric fury that was tainted with blood splatters, completely contrasting the pale complexion.  

“Jungkook?!  What the fuck are you doing?!”  You shrieked in shock.

As if broken from a trance from your voice, Jungkook snapped his head towards you.  

His eyes got wide and terrified, like a kid who was just caught doing something wrong and was awaiting a yelling.  He slowly got off Max and stood on shaky feet, holding his hands out as if you were a wild animal he was attempting to tame.  

You heard Max pathetically crawl back into his vehicle before taking off like a mad man.  

You didn’t break eye contact with Jungkook as this was happening, too paralyzed by the turn of events.  

“Y-Y/n, I can explain.”  

“YOU ATTACKED A STRANGER FOR NO REASON!”  You yelled at him, accusatory tone causing him to flinch.  

“What were you doing with him anyway?!”  He growled back, defensive tone entering his voice as he stood straighter; like he just remembered that he too was mad.  

“I needed a ride home!”  You cried.

“With a guy?!  What the fuck Y/n?!  Don’t be naive. I know how men think.”  He threw his hands up in disbelief. “He even asked for your snap and you almost gave it to him!”  

“Jungkook, he was the only one at the party who wasn’t drunk who could safely take me home.”  You explained before pointing a finger at him in prejudice. “And I wouldn’t have had to rush home if you didn’t demand I come back within 30 minutes or else you were going to snitch!”  

You were about to turn around and march right into your home when another thought dawned on you.  “And why the fuck were you in my bushes?!”

Jungkook opened his mouth to explain, before quickly snapping it shut in realization that he had no good explanation for why he was there.  You felt the color drain from your face as a horrible conclusion formed without the need of words.

Jungkook once was a sweet guy, like an older brother that was a little dorky but protective nonetheless.  The very worse he would ever do was huff and puff when he saw you doing something he didn’t approve of. But it was almost as if becoming his girlfriend was a triggering point for his sanity.  Never did you think you would see Kook attack someone without being provoked, you never thought you would have to witness him dent someone’s face in and stain his in return with blood. He would always look down on those meatheads who would brawl in the hallways at your school over the dumbest shit, but now he was (if not even more) violent and childish than those jocks.  It was terrifying to feel like you had known someone for so long, only for them to turn around and shed their pleasant persona as if it was a second skin and the true core of them was much darker than you ever thought possible.

You teared up and stared at those bottomless chocolate orbs that always held a film of fondness over them when they focused on you and only you.  

“Kook….”  Your trailed up as a lump started to raise in your throat, begging you not to say what you were going to.  “….We need to break up. I don’t know who are right now or why you changed but….you fucking terrify me. I-I can’t.  Please, don’t contact me again.”

His face crumpled within itself.  

Your hurriedly turned around and booked it to your front door, ignoring the tortured cries of your name and luke-warm apologies that escaped his scorched throat as he hollered like a mad man on your front lawn.  

–

Rest was hard to acquire after such a dramatic night.  

It took lots of crying into your pillow and listening to sad songs but eventually you managed to doze off.  You awoken the next morning with a blotchy face and swollen eyes, your night of sleep did little to rejuvenate.  

It took you a little longer than usual to hurl your dense body over your bed, but you did so as your bladder was screaming for relief and your stomach was loud with hunger.  After the first need was taken care of, you began your journey downstairs in search of food.

Luckily, the smell of pancakes and coffee was drifting in the air.  You noted with a grin that your mother must’ve decided to take the time to make a hearty breakfast, something that was reserved for weekend mornings.  But your quest to the kitchen halted when you saw who was helping your mom with the cooking.

“Oh looks who’s up, sleepy head!”  Your mom glowed after spotting you in the entrance.  “Your boyfriend decided to stop by and make breakfast with us.”

Indeed, Jungkook stood by your mom and was dutifully mixing the pancake batter as she flipped the ones on the stove.  He was wearing a white sweater, his hair neatly put together and his face as doughy white and innocent as his bunny grin that was slapped on.  

He was putting on a show.

He hummed with that musical and breathy voice of his as he whisked away the batter.  

Your mother noticed your strange silence and awkward stance.  She giggled and motioned for Jungkook to keep an eye on the cooking pancakes before she guided you over to the table and gave you your usual cup of coffee.  “What’s that look for? Jungkook told me that you two recently became more than friends. Don’t be mad! He’s just a very honest boy who wanted my approval.”  

You heard weighted footsteps as Jungkook approached you both to hand you a plate of food.  He pretended to be sheepish and rubbed the back of his neck. “Sorry babe, I just wanted to tell your mom so she could understand why I’ll be coming over more often.”  

“Frankly it’s about time you guys realized your feelings for each other!  I always knew something was up.” Your mom chided playfully while heading back to tend to the food.  Jungkook took his cue to sit beside you, wrapping a sturdy arm around you as he nuzzled your neck. “Also, we need to talk prom.”

“P-prom?!”  You spluttered, finally able to make a noise of any kind.  

“Of course, Jungkook and I were just talking about it before you came downstairs.  I said you looked lovely in blue but he said he adored green on you.”

Jungkook’s arm tightened around you as he propped his chin on your shoulder to grin up at you, voice sugary but eyes serious as he said; “No worries, honey.  Your mom said she’d help us dress shop today.”

Jungkook was a puppy when needed.  

But a feral dog when no one else was around.  

Later your mother muttered how she noticed there seemed to be some blood stains on her lawn and she sure hoped that no one got hurt last night.  

Jungkook just laughed and glanced at you with an odd gleam in his eyes as if it was some sort of inside joke.  

“Let’s just hope it doesn’t have to happen again.”  

[lianneoelke]

The Vancouver Island & Sunshine Coast Loop: A Solo Cycle Tour of BC’s Finest Retirement Communities. Part 2

Day 4: I hit the road at 7am. A quick ride on the Trans Canada woke me up and brought me to my daily bakery stop.

Serious Coffee for Serious Cyclists.

After second breakfast, I only had to follow one road: the 19A. With wide shoulders and no navigation required, I made good time up the coast. It would have been top notch riding if it wasn’t for the EXCESSIVE WIND that blew all day for NO REASON AT ALL. 

The best views were at Union Bay, where I slowed down a little too much until I realized the ferry I wanted to catch was coming up soon. I gunned it the last 25km to Comox, which was, shockingly, FULL OF HILLS. I gave up on my granny gear zen and let my rage carry me to the ferry terminal, where I caught the 3:25 just in time. The wind refused to chill out so I sat inside and charged my phone while I watched the white caps dance on the ocean.

Once I landed in Powell River it was only a few minutes to the campsite. After 113km my legs once again felt perfectly normal, which was weird. Sitting on a bike saddle, however, was deeply uncomfortable. I decided to walk the 3km to Townsite Brewing, stopping to gorge on veggie korma and stuffed potato naan on the way. 

I didn’t have room for another beer but I drank it anyway because I had biked HUNDREDS OF KILOMETERS to get there. 

I met this beautiful cat on the way back to the campsite, where I quickly fell asleep.

Day 5 began with gear sorting. It seemed like a lot.

I was a bit apprehensive about biking on the Sunshine Coast as I heard it was even hillier than Vancouver Island, but if the family camping next to me could bike to Lund from Powell River with a trailer and a young kid, there's no reason Gavin and I couldn't. The hills were very present, but still doable. I only had 27km to go, and I would have enjoyed the long decent into Lund if I knew I wouldn't have to climb back up eventually.

Lund was a tiny, bustling hub. I was surprised at the size of the grocery and liquor store (also surprised there was a liquor store at all). The store didn’t have much fresh produce, but I can live off beans, chips, and hot dogs for DAYS, thank you very much. Next I headed to Nancy's Bakery for a couple sandos and one of their famous blackberry cinnamon buns (which I'd been thinking about since the last time I was there, two years ago). I found a patio spot next to an outlet and gave my phone one last top up, because I couldn’t count on charging anything on Savary Island. With a couple hours before my water taxi reservation, I found myself on my own with nothing to do, which hadn't happened yet on the trip. I decided to call my parents and tell them what I was doing. I promised my mom I’d write a blog post so I could share some photos (hi, mom!). It was bizzy on Savary Island: rubbermaids, bags, boxes of booze, bikes, and a line of trucks lined up the dock. The people quickly dispersed into various homes, cabins, guest houses, resorts, and moss covered trailers. I went up the hill (no matter where I went, it was up a hill) to the campground: a loose scattering of wooden tent pads on some guy’s property. The owner told me “There is no check in. You just find a site that looks good and settle in.” Cool.

Of course the only rain I saw on the trip happened as soon as I arrived at a sub-tropical island. I expected to have a nap ASAP, but instead opted for a cold shower and laundry in the sink. I couldn’t fully clean my smelly bike shorts with Camp Suds; I could only make them slightly less smelly. 

Savary is a long, skinny island filled with lush rainforest and edged with white sandy beaches. After a comfortable and pitch black night, I was up at a decent hour. Day 6 was my rest day, which meant biking without all my gear. My legs felt overqualified for the 8km rip across the island and back. 

It was Gavin’s rest day, too. 

After a big brunch scramble and a hot dog, I headed to the beach, which was just as sunny and glorious as I imagined. I took a dip in the ocean, read, ate a bag of chips and a hot dog. When I ran out of food I went back to my camp and made an underwhelming dinner of overcooked veggies and terrible instant mashed potatoes with a hot dog. 

One of the best books I’ve read in a long time. It’s about a girl growing up in a survivalist, ultra conservative, and unsafe family fighting for education, despite never setting foot in a classroom until the age of 17. I left my copy at a community library on Savary. Feel free to go get it. On day 7 I caught the morning water taxi back to Lund, then made one more stop at Nancy's before tackling the 3km uphill. It was overcast and muggy. Sweaty and grimy. The ride to Powell River was quick though, and I treated myself to a Buddha bowl and cold beer for lunch. 

It was another 27km to Saltery Bay...

... which was an exceptionally beautiful provincial park.

Of course the campground attendant came to collect fees while I was in the middle of washing myself from a pot.

I felt resourceful that day. Like I belonged out there. It was the little things, like seeing the cycle route sign even though I didn’t see any other cyclists, collecting large rocks to hold my tent down because the ground was too hard for stakes, or improvising a bear hang because the campground didn’t have a bear proof locker for cyclists (get it together, Saltery). Part of me still feels like the kid who spends all her time reading, watching LOTR EE marathons, and making pizza at Panago for $6 an hour. I never grew up thinking of myself as athletic or woodsy, and compared to many people I'm not, but it's about time I realize I can do this on my own. And that I love it.

Day 8 began with a serene ferry ride to Earl's Cove. Out of the entire trip, I was the most nervous about the upcoming ride from Earl's to Sechelt. I knew it would be windy, narrow, and steep, and I didn’t want to end up schmucked on the side of the 101 because some yahoo hauling a yacht, four kayaks, and a dozen mountain bikes couldn't be bothered to slow down on a blind corner. But at this point I had 500km of experience, a bag of Sour Cherry Blasters, and my screaming pink cycling jersey to get through the day safely. It was relatively quiet early Wednesday morning, and the beautiful ride turned out to be one of my favourite sections.

I took a detour on Redrooffs Road after Half Moon Bay to get off the highway for a bit. It was scenic enough, but the elevation was stupid. I hadn’t walked Gavin up that many hills since Thetis Lake Regional Park. Things started to go downhill from there. Metaphorically of course, as the hills only went up. 

Traffic volume started to increase at Sechelt, where I stopped for candy. The Cherry Blasters picked me right up, but not even a sugar rush can hold off eight days of fatigue indefinitely. The last few kilometers to Gibsons weren't exactly painful, but they were not pleasant. My faith in Google Maps’ elevation estimates might never recover. My bike chain was dry and squeaking, but I thought if I could just make it to my destination and offload my gear I could zip back into town and find a bike shop and get some lubricant. In reality, once I finally arrived at Mike's place, after 83km and over 1400m of elevation gain, I couldn't bring myself to take the hill down into Gibsons again. "Can olive oil work on bike chains" is not my proudest Google search, but weary, smelly, and perpetually damp cyclists are nothing if not humble. And the answer is no, not really, but olive oil is better than nothing.

Thankfully Persephone Brewing was within walking distance. My healing began with an order of spring rolls and a rye farmhouse ale.

That evening, as I settled in to my tent, I heard the soft whisper of my couch back at home. The call of the bahn mis at Chickpea that Brian said were amazing. The whinny of my stupidly sensitive horse on Red Dead Redemption 2 Online. The sweet yet powerful purr of Alley Cat, my gentle golden nugget. I was a two hour ride away from completing the biggest physical achievement of my life. A year ago running 5k was a stretch, and biking 11km to Richmond was a chore. I wanted to do an ambitious cycle tour to see if I could. And I can. There’s nothing particularly special about me, or most people, but that doesn’t have to stop us from getting shit done. 

Day 9 was a quick ride down to the ferry, then a hilly ride through West Van on Marine Drive. Once I hit the Lions Gate Bridge, I knew I was home free.

Coming home after 9 days and 590km of a door-to-door solo cycle tour was incredibly satisfying.

Almost as satisfying as seeing my number one precious sweet potato again! 

This sweet pup is my number two. 

Maybe one day I’ll do a proper Google Maps route but this is the general idea.

Highlight(s): the views on Salt Spring, Sokka’s beautiful kitten face, the ride up from Nanaimo, the white sandy beaches at Savary, the peaceful ferry ride from Saltery, the surprisingly doable hills after Earl's Cove, the pics of my niece and nephew smiling on their first day back at school, the beers and food at Persephone, the moment I realized that I absolutely crushed every part of my ambitious plan. Lowlight: Thetis Lake Regional Park. Gold star: Gavin. This humble, unassuming, steel frame hybrid has been a true star, solid and dependable. I love this bike. I love what we can do together. Runner up: The weather. Almost perfect. Runner up: My legs. You know what you did.

[psychobhyun]

E R O T I C  T H O U G H T S

Foreword: Joining a book club may seem boring. But you’re not really bored when there’s an eye candy named Park Chanyeol to look at every afternoon. Who knows what your relationship would grow into?

Warnings: university!au, size kink, phone sex, daddy kink, squirting, degradation, semi-public sex, breathplay, spitting

Genre: fluff, smut

On the first day of university, your eyes were fixated on a certain person standing all the way on the other side of the room. He was towering above everyone else, which is an interesting sight to see. He also had ruffled silver hair and a black hoodie on with a random band name written on the front. 

“He’s cute, you should talk to him,” your friend said with a playful nudge to your shoulder. You smirked at her. “When the time comes,” you replied. As much as you needed to pay attention to the first-day speech, you couldn’t take your eyes off of the tall guy. “When the time comes, you’ll be coming too,” she joked. 

You let out a heartful laugh that was loud enough to turn heads. Apparently loud enough to make the guy you’ve been eyeing on to look back at you. You jumped in your position and avoided his eyes, feeling so embarrassed your cheeks grew hot. “He’s laughing at you, idiot,” your friend pointed out. 

“Fuck, you serious?” you said with a nervous chuckle. Hiding your eyes behind your hand, you look at the silver-haired guy. The tiny eye contact you made with him caused you to squeak. You rolled your eyes when your friend poked you, telling you how adorable you looked all shy like this. 

After the speech ended, you made your way out of the big conference room. Since it was a tight squeeze, you couldn’t really see who was pushing you in every direction. God dammit these people, you thought. Being your height, you were barely noticeable in any crowd. Halfway through the entrance, you lost your friend. 

“She’s there,” a deep voice said from beside you. When you turned your head to the source, you realized it was the guy you have a tiny crush on. He must be a giant. You had to look up at him. You were barely the same height as his shoulder? If you looked straight ahead, you were as tall as his chest. 

“Y-yeah, thanks,” you mumbled quietly. Where the fuck did your voice go? This guy has done the bare minimum but he’s already messing your train of thought already. “See you around, cutie,” the stranger said to you one more time. You tripped over someone else’s shoe after he called you cutie. 

Two months went by quite fast. You had a few more friends, you enjoyed your classes, and the lecturers were mostly nice (Maybe because it was only the first semester. They’d reveal their true colors soon enough). The only thing you haven’t done yet is joining a club. 

Your best friend joined a swimming club and as much as you loved being wet (get it?), you sucked at swimming. There is one activity you very much enjoy though. And it was reading. So you thought it was fitting to join a book club. There, you could share what you read or discuss a book with the other members. 

It’ll be fun. Totally fun.

And it was. The first thing you saw when you stepped in the room was the silver-haired guy. But his hair wasn’t silver anymore. It was red now. You didn’t even realize he was waving at you, patting the seat beside him. He seemed giddy to see you. You couldn’t hide the smile on your face. 

“Park Chanyeol,” he said as he offered you his hand. You took it and winced when you realized it was humid. “S-sorry, I’m nervous around cute girls.” You rolled your eyes and inhaled nervously. You introduced yourself and looked away because you were feeling shy yourself. You sat on the empty seat he gave you and focused on the person talking in the circle in front of you. 

The guy introduced himself as Kim Junmyeon, the one that started the club. He was two years ahead of you. He continues telling the new members how the club came to be, which bored the hell out of you. You glance at Chanyeol and saw him typing something on his phone.

What do I need to do to get your number, cutie it said. You held in a tiny giggle and take Chanyeol’s phone out of his hands. Tell the Junmyeon guy you need to fart outside, you typed underneath his message. He shot you a dirty look and stand up, doing exactly what you told him to do. 

You bite your lip as Chanyeol bows down and excused himself to fart outside to Junmyeon. You laugh at the way he runs outside. His flaming red hair bobs up and down as he scurried away. Reminds you of flaming hot Cheetos. You shake your head in disbelief when he sits down beside you again, a dumb look plastered on his face. 

He unlocks his phone and hands you the device. You typed your number in his contacts list and wrote it as ‘cutie’ with a heart emoji beside it. You winked at him cheekily as you give him his phone back. You can see him doing a fist pump when you really gave him your phone number.

A couple of weeks later, you grew closer to Chanyeol. You texted with him almost every night and seeing the good night and good morning messages from him always warmed you up. It never fails to bring a smile to your face and you never forget to tell Chanyeol about it. 

However, not all of your texts with him are innocent. Sometimes he’d ask you what you’re wearing. Then he got bolder. He asked you if you’d ever let him kiss you, even though he knew the answer. A million times yes. The only time it got a bit more intimate was when you sent him a pic of your outfit before you went clubbing with your friends. 

Chanyeol hated the fact that he couldn’t protect you. He didn’t want anyone else’s hands touching you, cause he’d punch whoever tried to. But he couldn’t do anything about it. And it frustrated him a lot. 

You surprised him when you sent him a racy pic of yourself in the club’s toilet. You flaunted your obvious cleavage, bending over a bit to tease him. It sent blood straight to his dick. He palmed his growing bulge through his sweatpants and imagined his hands were yours instead. 

You called him later that night, still drunk, but sober enough to realize all the naughty stuff you’re saying to him. “I’m so wet right now,” you say with a deep sigh. You rubbed your clit slowly, enjoying the light touches of your hand. “You are? Who made you wet, cutie?” 

You gasped when you dipped a single finger into your pussy, your wetness immediately coating it. “You, Daddy,” you replied. Chanyeol tried not to react to what you called him. But it sent his ego through the roof. “But Daddy didn’t do anything, baby? How are you wet?”

You whined as you started to finger fuck yourself. “I grinded against a guy and imagined it was you, Daddy. I thought about taking your cock in front of everyone in the club,” you managed to say even though you were breathless. You put the phone on loudspeaker and played with your nipples, twisting and pulling with two of your fingers still deep inside you. 

“You want me to fuck you in public, baby?” Chanyeol rasps to the phone. “But you’re mine. I don’t like sharing what I own.” You moaned when Chanyeol said you were his. You loved the feeling of being owned by someone. It made your pussy clench in excitement. 

“Are you going to come, baby?” Chanyeol asks when he hears your moans getting higher in pitch. “Y-yeah, Daddy,” You purposely push your fingers against your g-spot while you rub your clit, trying to reach a euphoric orgasm with Chanyeol at the end of the line. 

“Come for Daddy, baby. You make me so proud,” Chanyeol says in his deep voice, encouraging an even harder orgasm for you. You loved the sound of his familiar voice. “Daddy!” You came with a scream, still rubbing circles on your clit as you squirt all over your mattress. 

“Let’s discuss the poet I assigned everyone to read,” Junmyeon says, standing in the middle of the circle again. He picked the person next to you to start, going anti-clockwise. Which means you’re going to be the last person to talk about your poem. And you chose one that was far from innocent. 

As the others talked about the poems they’ve read, your eyes focused on Chanyeol. He was wearing a fitted black shirt. It made his muscles much more prominent than his usual outfit would. Your mouth watered at the sight of him, supporting his chin with his right hand as the other held his other thigh. He looks back at you, licking his lips slowly as you crossed your legs. Your skirt lifts up a bit, revealing more than what is decent skin. 

When it was Chanyeol’s turn, he stood up and cleared his throat. He looked at you for a bit, a teasing sparkle evident on his pupils. “The title of the poem I have chosen is Open Invitation,” he starts. “I’ll read it now, okay?” 

You have such a pretty mouth.

To feed it only with kisses

would be a wasted opportunity

Your jaw dropped. The whole time Chanyeol read his short poem, he was gazing deeply into your eyes. You didn’t even blink as he said each word. You were awestruck not only by the poem of his choice but also by the sincerity lingering in his voice. The depth of what the poem meant to him..... it made you quiver. 

“Any particular reason why you wanted to choose that one, Chanyeol?” Junmyeon asked with a slight blush on his cheeks. It made you giggle how easily affected Junmyeon is. You put your focus on Chanyeol back, waiting for his answer. “The piece had no bullshit. It was straightforward, like me. When I know what I want, I work hard until I get it.”

You quirk an eyebrow at Chanyeol’s reply to Junmyeon. He looked flustered, so he moved on to the next person as fast as he could. The time passes by quickly and it was your turn. You gulped as you prepared yourself. Yours was longer than Chanyeol, but it was not less erotic. In fact, it was the exact opposite. 

“Last but certainly not least,” Junmyeon says as his eyes lands on you. You shoot him a small smile and stand up, fixing the skirt that was only covering half of your thighs. Chanyeol squints at the thought of fucking you half-dressed. You give a lot for him to imagine, yet so little at the same time. 

“The title of the poem I have chosen is Bitter Sweet Love.” You notice the slight change in Chanyeol’s posture. It was a bit tenser than before. Maybe it’s because he knew what the poem was about. Which makes it easier for you to tease him. Use your voice and Chanyeol’s hard exterior would crack. It excited you. You wanted to see what Chanyeol would look like if he’s the one begging to touch you. 

To slap you, is to touch you.

Scream for mercy. Beg for more.

To bite you, is to kiss you.

Tied and tethered, on the floor.

To loath you, is to love you.

Pretty princess. Dirty whore. 

It was Junmyeon’s jaw’s turn to drop. You were known in the club for being an innocent angel. But Chanyeol knew you were far from that ever since you called him Daddy over the phone call a few nights ago. You bit the inside of your cheeks, scared yet anticipating the reaction from the others. Especially Chanyeol, your true target. 

“Any particular reason you wanted to-,” Junmyeon says but you immediately cut him off. You couldn’t handle it anymore. “I loved the sensuality of the poem. Like night and day, sex can be both dangerous, filled with primal desire, but sex can also be an intimate and full of warmth.” 

You were about to open your mouth to continue but Junmyeon took a glance at his watch and decided to dismiss today’s club a bit earlier. You huffed an annoyed sigh. You wanted to drive Chanyeol to the point of insanity. The intense sexual tension between the two of you was messing up your clear thoughts. 

“Make sure to lock the room,” Junmyeon says as he hands you the keys. Like he knows what’s about to happen once everyone leaves and the only people left are you and Chanyeol. The keychain’s chimes echoes in the now empty room. Chanyeol was still sitting on his chair and hasn’t moved an inch. 

“Chanyeol? Are you planning to stay the night?” You joked, sitting beside him. He ignores you. “Daddy?” You say this time. Chanyeol’s breath hitches. “Did you like the poem I read today?” Chanyeol side looks you. He balls his hands into fists. His self-control is close to nothing. 

“I read it and thought of you, Daddy.” Chanyeol fixes his eyes on you. He puts his thumb on your bottom lip, pulling it down before letting it snap back into its original place. You take it inside your mouth, sucking on it as if it was his cock. Chanyeol doesn’t break his gaze on you the whole time you do it. 

“Fuck me on this table, Daddy,” you said in a high-pitched voice, emphasizing the word Daddy. Chanyeol groans. He holds you by the throat and pushes all his belongings that were on the table. It falls down and makes loud noises, but the two of you could care less. You wanted him inside you and he wanted to be inside you. 

“Good girls beg to be fucked, dirty whore,” he barks. He presses on your throat a bit harder and your hands out of instinct held his arm. You could feel the protruding veins on his skin. Using his other hand, Chanyeol rips open the buttons on your shirt. He puts his unoccupied hand on your breast as soon as it was on display. 

“What were you thinking, slut? Did you get off thinking about Daddy fucking you tied up? Fucking that useless pussy of yours until you beg for mercy because of overstimulation? That’s what you want, isn’t? Pathetic slut. I am disappointed, you know? You talked about your lewd thoughts in front of everyone.”

You gasp and whine as you listened to all the nasty names Chanyeol calls you. He lets go of your neck and pushes your skirt up, hands already hitting your ass twice. “I wish you could see how red your ass is already, baby.” You whimpered when he hit you directly on your pussy. It made your clit pulse with need. 

“Wet already? You’re shameless.” Chanyeol unzips his jeans and pulls it all the way down, getting rid of his shirt as well. He bends you over the table and pulls apart your ass cheeks, spitting directly on your pussy and using his hand to spread it around. “No need for foreplay, baby. I’ll fuck you with your own wetness and my spit.” 

You screamed when the delicious burn from Chanyeol’s cock stretching you open. He pistons his cock in and out of you at a fast pace, making your tits bounce. He doesn’t forget to hit your ass in the middle of it all, knowing how much you loved the pain. 

“Can’t wait to make all your dirty fantasies a reality, baby. I’ll make you a whore for my cock and my cock only.” You look back at Chanyeol, holding his gaze. “Yes, Daddy. Show me whose holes are these!” Chanyeol smirks and wraps an arm around your neck, pulling your back so they press against your chest. “Show me what I’m good for, Daddy.” 

Chanyeol pulls out and tells you to kneel on the floor. Tugging on his cock, he watches the way you stick your tongue out, ready to take his semen inside your mouth. He comes in one long spurt, making a mess on your face because of his bad aim. Or did he do it on purpose? 

“I’ll make sure to come in your mouth next time, baby. But for now, enjoy my warm come covering your face. You love everything I give you, right?” 

You nod as a reply. Chanyeol chuckles deep in his throat. “Daddy knows you well.” 

[suicidalcatz]

DOG DAYS ARE OVER : CHAP 5

AN: Hello frens! Are you having a nice sunday? In this chapter we exchange some texts. But also we make fun of Josh just because. In the next chapter, things get complicated between the three of you... I hope you’ll like it. Please feel free to comment or send me prompts!

Pairing : Jake Kiszka x Reader

Genre : College AU

Previous parts : Prologue ; Chap 1 ; Chap 2 ; Chap 3 ; Chap 4

Masterlist : here

Chapter five : New number, who dis ?

Packing never made me feel weird before. It was friday afternoon so a majority of students were going home or, like me, to their parents' place for the week end. Most of the time I'd stay in my dorm with Mandy because we had so much homework there was no point coming home at all. I already knew for a fact that I'll be locked up in my room all week end painting, drawing, and cutting paper, but I promised I'd see them since it has been a while. My parents' cooking and comfy house usually made me impatient but not this time. I knew the boys were staying on campus because they lived far away, and it gave me mixed feelings. Part of me longed for Jake, and the feeling of his touch on my wrist was still so vivid I sometimes got the impression his hand was still here. On the other hand, he and Josh were big family guys, and seeing them missing their home so much while I was reluctant to see mine made me feel like a spoiled brat. That's why instead of calling to tell my parents I wasn't coming home this week end either, I went home to enjoy every bit of it.

My mom had already made my favorite dish, and dad was excitedly chatting about this new movie  he saw on tv the other day. It felt good, I could allow myself to relax a little, take a bath, hang out with some friends for an hour or two after finishing an assignment.

Sitting at my desk, I dropped the pen and stretched my back, falling back onto the chair and looking at my work. I did good this week, so the teacher didn't make me redo any of my assignments, which was very fortunate because I still had a flyer design to create. I unfolded that one Jake gave to me and took a look at all the infos, preparing a draft of my first idea. Why they didn't let the Illustration department do the visual com design was a mystery. By the look of it I bet it was the Music and Architecture dudes who made it. There was a bunch of band names thrown in the middle, what looked like a pixelled stock image of a Santa hat in a corner, « with beer ! » in a really ugly comic bubble in another, and the worst was that they though Comic Sans was an acceptable font choice. Unbelievable. That's why we can't let Architecture dudes do anything.

Creating a decent design took me a solid two hours, which was way faster than I planned. Getting up, I studied it from a distance, looking for flaws. It wasn't the best I could've done but it was pretty cool and not printed with neon yellow paper. For now, I'll rest my head for a bit and see if I can sketch the few more ideas I came up with later on. Feeling proud of my work, I took a picture to send it to Jake. It was dark and quiet outside, and one glance at the clock confirmed my thoughts on how late it was already. Biting my lower lip, I struggled. Maybe he was sleeping.

I never texted him since he gave me his number. I mean he gave it to me so we could talk about the flyers, right ? I would've been uneasy using it for another reason. Pondering whether of not I should maybe wake him up, I started pacing in my room, tidying and touching things, stuff I did when I was nervous. My arm still had some black marker on it, faded shapes and symbols vaguely resembling numbers, like an old letter with smudged ink and discolored paper. At first I didn't wanted to wash it off. Mandy and I got so excited by it we cheered together right after school, and classmates seemed intrigued by it. The cold weather didn't allow me to show too much skin so it could look like a tattoo, or a hot guy gave me his number (which was technically true). It could look like I just wrote it myself, but it was totally lame so I didn't want to think about it. Although I really enjoyed that empowering feeling of being someone's interest, at least a little, I scrubbed it hard the same evening. I didn't know if Josh was aware of it and couldn't raise suspicion in case he wasn't. It looked like we were doing something bad, and maybe we were, I had no clue. Guys had that weird rule regarding friends dating brothers and according to Netflix romcoms I was walking on thin fucking ice so I wasn't taking any risks. To be honest I don't think Josh would mind us talking but Jake seemed like a secretive guys so if he told Josh then I'll talk about it and otherwise, I won't. I'll just go with the flow and follow his lead on this, it was safer.

It was almost 2AM when I sent the pic and left my room to get a nice cup of tea/coffee after all these efforts. By the time I got back I had one new message.

« Hi to you too »

I felt my heart jump a little when I saw his name at the top of the screen, and his first text made me smile. I got so pumped by all these design ideas that I forgot to tell him it was me. The picture made it clear enough, though, but maybe it was a bit rude of me. Taking a sip of hot tea/coffee before putting the mug on the night table, I sat on the bed, eyes still on my phone, thinking of an answer. It took me maybe too long because I kept on rereading it to be sure I wouldn't embarrass myself with a typo.

« Hi, sorry. So what do you think ? »

The phone was threwn on the blankets and I turned on the tv to make me think of something else than his future reply. Saying that I was confident would be half-true. The design was good or so I thought so, but then again tastes were all too subjectives and art was tricky. He had all the right to hate it, I wouldn't take it personally (well at least not a hundred percent...). Idly watching a re-run of some old sitcom, I continued to quietly empty my cup and switch channels without really paying attention when I heard my phone buzz and let everything down to grab it.

« I got to admit you were right, our flyers sucked, this one looks fantastic »

And maybe my cheeks started turning pink. Compliments on my art meant a lot, more than those on my personnality or physic. It was really rewarding to have someone enjoy something you created from your own hands. It felt better than any other flattery, so the reply came naturally.

« I'm so glad you like it. I had a few more ideas in stock just in case »

His next message came so fast this time that I didn't even put down my phone yet when I felt it vibrate in my palm.

« Thank you for this, I really appreciate it. I'll owe you one. »

His sweet personality made a smile spread across my face. I took the flyer in my hand again, studying it. The number of bands playing this day was surprisingly high. Some of them I knew because I either heard people talk about it, or knew the guys playing. One especially because they kept rehearsing their rap lyrics in the dorms for everybody to enjoy, which I didn't since they started loudly singing at three in the morning and ignored all my complaints about the noise of their boombox. But most of the bands, no, I didn't know. I continued watching intently the names of the bands playing as if I'll have an epiphany and guess which was Jake's. Giving up, I took my phone again to tap.

« Don't sweat it, I'm glad to help. So... which one are you... ? »

Again, the reply was faster than the first texts we exchanged, despite the late hour.

« You mean the band ? Guess you'll have to come and find out »

I raised an amused eyebrow at this. Getting cocky, aren't we ?

« Alright then, Mister Mysterious, I'll wait and see. »

« You won't regret it. », replied Jake, and for some reason my face started heating up again.

We didn't speak for several minutes, I didn't know what to say now that the topic was closed, and I had nothing to add to it. Switching channels and drinking tea/coffee didn't gave me much help either, at this hour it was either old re-runs, or tv shopping. My eyes looked at the digital alarm clock, and it was almost three in the morning. That's how I knew what to write next.

« I just thought about it, but didn't I wake you up ? »

He was fast as ever again this time, probably wide awake and without anything to do.

« No, don't worry. Rehearsing with my brothers. I'm taking a break until Sam and Josh stop arguing and find a compromise for the new song. Our friend Danny's being the peace keeper once again, I left him alone on the battlefield and went out for a smoke. »

The war metaphor made me chuckle lightly, causing my imagination to run wild. The thought went through my mind that I couldn't believe they would argue, but since they were brothers it was normal I guess, even if they seemed pretty close. Close enough to form a band together at least. I never saw Josh angry, but he had a very vivid temperament, so it wasn't really much of a surprise either. My mind wandered a bit, and I briefly wondered how Jake looked in a heated argument. Probably hot, but also intimidating. He had that kind of quiet aura that seemed like it could become suddenly agitated, like a spotless watercourse that got troubled by the rain or rocks that ricocheted on it. I couldn't explain it, but it was how my limited knowledge of him perceived it.

My phone buzzed again, and this time it was a picture that made me snort in the ugliest way possible. It was a very unflattering close up of a moody and clearly unamused Josh who looked like he was in the middle of scolding Jake for doing whatever he did that got him upset. More of it  came, one after the other, for my greatest amusement, and by looking at them in order I could see his actions and movements, like a flipbook of ugly pictures of an angry Josh wearing a colorful dyed t shirt and ample pants that I assumed were his pajamas. The last one got me shaking with laughter, poor Josh looked awful, in a middle of what I assumed was a menacing speech for Jake to stop his bullshit, with an eye half closed and his mouth stuck the weirdest twist of the lips humanly possible. I saved this one as blackmail material, might be helpful in the future.

I didn't even know what to respond to that, they all radiated such chaotic energy it was splendid. Jake was quicker, and sent me a text this time, saying Josh threw his slipper at his face and that he was lucky he hadn't had the tambourine in his hands at that moment.

« I guess rehearsal is over for today, hopefully they'll make up their minds about the song tomorrow. Thanks again for the flyers, see you on monday, we'll print them. »

I never knew I'd be that impatient to go back to school before meeting him.

[daleisgreat]

Lockdown 2009

Greetings all and welcome to my fifth installment of marching through every TNA/Impact Lockdown PPV. Catch up on the previous entries right here! As I watched this PPV it reminded me of where I was with enjoying Impact in this era of April of 2009 when Lockdown emanated from Philly. Even though this was about a third of the way into infamous head booker Vince Russo’s eight year run with TNA, I think I was near the peak of my TNA/Impact fandom. They maintained a solid X-Division lineup and former X-Division stars were becoming mainstays in the World Title picture like Samoa Joe and AJ Styles. TNA was getting a lot of momentum with its Main Event Mafia faction consisting of former ‘Monday Night Wars’ stars like Nash, Sting, Booker T, Scott Steiner and Kurt Angle. TNA’s ‘Knockouts Division’ they established when Impact went two hours in 2007 put WWE’s then ‘Diva-Search era’ to shame and I feel it was the predecessor to the ‘Women’s Evolution’ era in the WWE for the past few years. This came to a halt when Eric Bishoff and Hulk Hogan arrived in TNA by the end of 2009 and within a year Impact went from must-see programming to becoming a chore and largely ignoring it by the end of 2010. There will be more on that to look forward to in future Lockdown entries. Here are some key takeaways I had from the 2009 Lockdown before I breakdown the matches…. -I think this is the final Lockdown with Don West announcing because Tazz at this time in the midst of his no-compete clause after finishing up with WWE after nine years. Don West did an entertaining short run as a heel announcer a couple months prior although he largely played it straight on this PPV. Sure enough, Tazz debuted in TNA a couple months later and West was gone from the announce desk. West was an affable and authentic voice for TNA in these early years for the promotion and while Tazz was always a solid announcer, I could not help but feel the announce desk permanently took a dip with the removal of West. -This was year two or three of TNA leaving the safety nest of the Impact-Zone Arena at Universal Studios for a bigger arena gate on the road. Lockdown was one of just a handful of PPVs that TNA took on the road per year and it paid off with a big-time atmosphere, especially with this 2009 card taking place in a city known for its passionate fan-base in Philly.

-Yearly props again go out to TNA promo-package voiceover guy, Barry Scott for delivering powerful narrations for all the storyline recaps before most matches yet again. His poignant voice makes any rivalry and PPV no matter how weak or strong at that moment seem must-see. WWE or AEW needs to hire this guy!!! -The 2009 DVD has a decent smattering of just over a half hour of extras. Aside from the pre-show match, there is a recap of the TNA Interaction fan fest, post-match interviews with Sting, Kevin Nash, Team 3D and a in-progress-of-being-stitched-up Mick Foley. Sting has some kind reflections after his match, Nash is a riot enjoying a post-match brewski, and they get so up close to the medical staff working on Foley that they have to issue a graphic content warning. A Smashing Pumpkins music video and a photo gallery I once again borrowed a few pics from for this entry round off the decent amount of extras. -TNA head honcho Dixie Carter made one of her first on-screen appearances for the company giving a quick interview to Jeremy Borash in the pre-show thanking the fans for their support. She started to make some PR appearances around this time to help promote the recently released Impact game on PS3 and 360 and I believe this was her TNA on-air programming debut. Regrettably, Dixie would go on to make more regular appearances in the years to come as an on-air authority figure much to the displeasure of viewers.

-I liked the frequent quick backstage interviews with talent before their matches and them combined with the aforementioned Barry Scott recaps served as a nice refresher on the rivalries going into this, and none overstayed their welcomes unlike a lot of modern WWE rivalry recap packages. I think Lauren was probably the fourth or fifth backstage interviewer for TNA at this point, and she did a fine good job with her reactions and adding in a quick take relative to the storyline’s after most of the interviews wrapped which added a nice ‘fan’s perspective’ view on the feuds. -Also worth noting is future TNA president and current top brass of NWA, Billy Corgan made an early TNA appearance in the music video hype package for the PPV, which is also a DVD extra, with him lending TNA Bullet with Butterfly Wings for use. Speaking of Corgan, you guys should really watch NWA Powerrr!! It and NXT are my current top two shows of the overcrowded 2019 wrestling bubble in America. -Before we begin (I know…sorry), I have to touch on the Suicide character making his Lockdown debut. He was a masked wrestler that debuted in the previously touted Impact videogame. The Impact game was ridiculously over-promoted on TV each week, eventually culminating in the videogame character becoming an actual wrestler. As of this writing, six different individuals have donned the Suicide gear for various stints for the character in TNA up until earlier this year when his most recent run ended. Worth noting is Suicide’s trademark fingers-to-the-temple pose. That same pose would coincidentally become the well-known cover art of the far better performing game, Borderlands when that game first released the following year. Naturally, having fans chant ‘Suicide’ and having him face off against opponents named ‘Homicide’ stirred controversy and TNA answered the criticism and would change his name to Manik…..before ultimately changing it back to Suicide due to presumably fan demand/creative resentment? TNA! TNA!

-Last year I noted how Lockdown 2008 had a shockingly low blade-job count with Brother D-Von being the sole wrestler who bled throughout the card. 2009 exponentially upped that number with six wrestlers donning the crimson mask with Abyss, Matt Morgan, Bully Ray, Mick Foley, Sting and Kevin Nash all doing the honors. Unlike WWE today, TNA did not change the mat canvas after a match if a wrestler bled so gradually throughout the night the mat transformed into a blood-soaked mess as you can see by the cell-phone photo I took with an overhead camera shot of the main event near the end of the PPV. -Ok, enough babbling, onto the matches of this 2009 Lockdown! The pre-show match is included as a DVD extra and has Eric Young squaring off against local Philly radio personality, Danny Bonaduce. Danny tries some slimy antagonist antics against fan favorite EY, and even sneaks in a little offense before Young surprised him with a roll-up for the win. Danny tried to avenge his loss by beating down Young afterwards, but Rhino came in for the save and gore’d the smithereens out of Bonaduce! The first official match on the PPV card was the annual X-Title, X-Scape contest. This saw champ, Suicide defending against ‘Black Machismo’ Jay Lethal, Sheik Abdul Bashir (formerly WWE’s Daivari), Kiyoshi and Consequences Creed (a pre-WWE Xavier Woods). I will give Vince Russo credit for accidentally stumbling into a legit thrilling finish for this X-Scape matc! It is probably one of my favorites of them so far. After a lot of trademark X-Division high-flying and a few pinfall eliminations, it came down to Suicide and Bashir to escape in order to win. Kiyoshi tried to climb the top of the cage to prevent Suicide from climbing over, but security intervened and pulled him down while Bashir attempted to sneak through the door during the distraction. Before Bashir could sneak out however, Suicide surveyed the surroundings and did a dive from the top onto the security and Kiyoshi outside the ring for the instant victory! It played out very convincingly and I was popping just as big for it as the crowd! -The second annual queen of the cage bout took place next between Sojourner Bolt, ODB, Daffney and then-Beautiful People intern Madison Rayne. Rayne would become a big player for the Knockouts division so it was interesting seeing her quite early in her TNA run. Unfortunately the Knockouts could not quite gel in this match and after several minutes of unremarkable action ODB hit a powerslam for the victory. The IWGP JR. Tag Titles match faired much better though with Motor City Machine Guns defending against LAX and No Limit. It was a bit on the spot-fest side of things, but a good one at that with the Guns successfully defending after hitting their Made in Detroit signature finish for the pin.

-Abyss and Matt Morgan squared off next in the uniquely titled ‘Doomsday Chamber of Blood’ that saw its stipulation being a wrestler cannot score a fall unto they make their adversary bleed. With that, we saw the use of tacks, glass shards and chairs resulting in the expected bloodbath. This Lockdown also took place while Abyss was a little ways into his ‘escaped mental facility’ version of his character and he referenced in a pre-match interview seeking therapy to stop weapon violence from one ‘Dr. Stevie.’ That Stevie turned out to be a TNA-debuting Stevie Richards fresh off his WWECW run who distracted Abyss by taking away a chair from him that caused Morgan to hit his finish for the win. This match gets the honors of being my annual induction for being a solid lock for the eventual WWE home video release of ‘Top 50 OMG Moments of TNA/Impact.’ -The Knockouts Title was on the line next in a triple threat with Awesome Kong defending against Angelina Love and Taylor Wilde. Unfortunately a freak concussion happened to Angelina Love a couple minutes in after she took a cross-body from Wilde. She looked on auto-pilot while Wilde tried to bide time with a hold, but eventually they got the call to go home and Wilde took a weak kick from a handcuffed Kong for the awkward sudden victory. Hate to see it whenever this happens, but this was still a few years before the concussion controversies gained steam in the NFL and before WWE and TNA banned head chair-shots, so part of me was surprised TNA did the right thing and quickly ended the match when they realized something was not right, so good on them for that.

-Both the TNA Tag Titles and IWGP Tag Titles were simultaneously up for grabs next between Team 3D and Beer Money. The announcers and promo package did a tremendous job hyping up this match for who would be the king of the tag teams and making this match have the vibe of a homecoming for Team 3D due to their ECW roots. All wrestlers left the cage within seconds of starting the match (they would be among many to do so throughout the night) and did a ECW-esque brawl throughout the crowd for old time’s sake! Eventually the action came back inside and saw a few good highspots that got the crowd and me rolling and finishing with Team 3D getting the feel good win after hitting Roode with a 3D through a table. -TNA’s version of War Games, Lethal Lockdown, happened next. It saw AJ Styles, Jeff Jarrett, Christopher Daniels and Samoa Joe team up against Kurt Angle, Scott Steiner, Booker T and Kevin Nash. Seeing how worn down Kurt Angle looked in his farewell match earlier this year it is remarkable how much better he looked ten years prior. He looks about 30 years younger! Highlights of this Lethal Lockdown see Steiner hitting impressive top rope suplexes and Franken-steiners to a big crowd pop and Scotty responded by doing an aggressive flurry of bird flipping motions to the Philly crowd before they could conjure up a ‘You Still Got It’ chant. After Jarrett entered last and the roof of the cage locked down with weapons on top, AJ and Angle quickly ascended on top of the cage roof with a big spot coming from AJ doing a splash through the roof of the cage onto a few Main Event Mafia members to a big reaction. The finish occurred when AJ got the pin on Booker T when Jarrett hit him with a guitar after Jarrett teased turning on AJ. TNA had another former WWE-debut immediately after the match though with Bobby Lashley having an odd motorcycle-themed tron and theme-song package as he posed to the crowd and did…..nothing else of note. This would be the first of two runs for Lashley in TNA where he eventually evolved into a pretty decent act before he went back to WWE last year.

-The main event saw Sting defend his world title against Mick Foley. I recall not being into Foley’s ‘executive shareholder’ authority figure character here where he was squabbling with Sting for calling him out for being inactive and being portrayed as losing his marbles. He continues that characterization by pounding his forehead to bust himself open at the very beginning of the match. Foley looks like he got himself in decent shape in time for this match, but he could not go like he use to by this point in 2009 as this was mostly a kick and punch affair until in a baffling booking decision, Foley attacks a cameraman for being in his way, only moments later to demand that same cameraman to hand him an out of reach barbed-wire bat from outside the ring, to which the cameraman who just got pummeled by Foley quickly acquiesces to. After beating down on Sting with the bat for a while the two engage in a anticlimactic climbing-over-the-cage affair that Foley gets the best of to become the new TNA World champion in an underwhelming headlining bout. The two put on a good effort, and I hate to slight Foley, but he and the odd booking dragged things down a couple notches to the ‘alright’ quality level. -This was a 50/50 night for the eight PPV matches. On one hand we had the off night for the women and the mediocre Doomsday and world title matches, but on the other we had two standout tag title matches, easily the best X-Scape match yet and better-than-usual Lethal Lockdown bout. Overall I would have to say the good outweighs the bad and will give 2009 Lockdown a solid thumbs-up. Join me next time as we enter the first of four Lockdowns that transpired during the not-so-highly-regarded Hogan/Bishoff run! Past Wrestling Blogs Best of WCW Clash of Champions Best of WCW Monday Nitro Volume 2 Best of WCW Monday Nitro Volume 3 Biggest Knuckleheads Bobby The Brain Heenan Daniel Bryan: Just Say Yes Yes Yes DDP: Positively Living Dusty Rhodes WWE Network Specials ECW Unreleased: Vol 1 ECW Unreleased: Vol 2 ECW Unreleased: Vol 3 Eric Bishoff: Wrestlings Most Controversial Figure Fight Owens Fight: The Kevin Owens Story For All Mankind Goldberg: The Ultimate Collection Hulk Hogans Unreleased Collectors Series Impact Wresting Presents: Best of Hulk Hogan Its Good to Be the King: The Jerry Lawler Story The Kliq Rules Ladies and Gentlemen My Name is Paul Heyman Legends of Mid South Wrestling Macho Man: The Randy Savage Story Memphis Heat NXT: From Secret to Sensation NXT Greatest Matches Vol 1 OMG Vol 2: Top 50 Incidents in WCW History OMG Vol 3: Top 50 Incidents in ECW History Owen: Hart of Gold RoH Supercard of Honor 2010-Present ScoobyDoo Wrestlemania Mystery Scott Hall: Living on a Razors Edge Sting: Into the Light Straight Outta Dudley-ville: Legacy of the Dudley Boyz Straight to the Top: Money in the Bank Anthology Superstar Collection: Zach Ryder Then Now Forever – The Evolution of WWEs Womens Division TLC 2017 TNA Lockdown 2005-2016 Top 50 Superstars of All Time Tough Enough: Million Dollar Season True Giants Ultimate Fan Pack: Roman Reigns Ultimate Warrior: Always Believe War Games: WCWs Most Notorious Matches Warrior Week on WWE Network Wrestlemania 3: Championship Edition Wrestlemania 28-Present The Wrestler (2008) Wrestling Road Diaries Too Wrestling Road Diaries Three: Funny Equals Money Wrestlings Greatest Factions WWE Network Original Specials First Half 2015 WWE Network Original Specials Second Half 2015 WWE Network Original Specials First Half 2016 WWE Network Original Specials Second Half 2016 WWE Network Original Specials First Half 2017

[pinkbubbles-and-bigtroubles]

Colour Me In Part 4

Eliza woke up to her bed shaking and a red light flashing in her face. This past week had been a nightmare with the James family taking up entirely too much of her time. Zach's ex, Daisy Moss,  had been blocked on all his social media, but was using mutual friends to get to him. All the while posting racy pics with cryptic captions “miss your hands,” “it's never as good as it was with you,” etc. It was working and he was bouncing off the walls an emergency call at 2 am wasn't as unexpected as it was unwelcome.

Sure enough, text messages were flooding in from Evie, Jeanette, and even his mom, Helen.  Daisy had finally gotten him to agree to meet for dinner to discuss where their relationship had gone wrong. That dinner dissolved into a public screaming match and when Daisy started trashing the restaurant Zach took off leaving her there. He'd hidden out at his friend Sam's house and they'd gotten piss drunk for a few hours. Zach got the spins and stepped outside for some air. It took Sam almost half an hour to realize he'd wandered off and raise the alarm. Before anyone could reach Sam's house, Zachary was arrested while banging on the front door of a Methodist Church crying and screaming at the top of his lungs. Evie had been notified as soon as he reached the police station. Her boss was enraged that Jeanette had let it go so far without contacting them, Jeanette was fed up with everybody and threatened to quit, and Eliza was on her way to clean up the mess.

Maggie heard her get up to leave and insisted on coming with her. Eliza hesitated thinking it unprofessional, but she was tired and an interpreter would really help move this along. While Maggie drove Eliza scrolled through her messages to see if she's heard from Calum.

She had barely seen him since that night he'd first kissed her. They'd met for a quick breakfast at Marian's, or as he called it “their spot.”  He'd also surprised her at work and taken her to lunch. Each time he was sweet and a well behaved gentleman, much to Eliza's growing frustration. He'd wanted to take her to dinner again, but she'd been so busy and then he'd gone out of town with his friends for the weekend. Calum had texted her regularly, but it wasn't the same.

Waiting in the West Hollywood police station to get Zach processed Eliza pulled out her camera and nudged Maggie who shook her head.

“What the fuck are you doing? I look like hell, I want to go home.” Maggie always signed slowly when she was tired and Eliza called it whining.

“Please Mags I wanna fuck with Calum a bit,” Eliza pled with her sister.

Maggie pouted but nodded and Eliza told her to look pissed off. She took a few before deciding on one where Maggie looked angry and Eliza looked scared.

I didn't know who to call. I can't reach Kevin and I can't call my mom.

Calum responded quicker than she thought

OMG babe what happened? Are you okay? Do I need to come get you?

Maggie read over her shoulder poking her in the ribs before sitting back and looking smug.

Eliza glanced back and Maggie signed “I told you, I knew he liked you like that,” her hands back to their usual quick precise movements.

Eliza rolled her eyes and shook her head, but she was smiling.

We've been arrested. Evie will help with a lawyer but not with bail or bond.

What the hell? What did you get arrested for? Maggie too?

It's a long story but we're being charged with attempted murder

Maggie smacked her arm, “dummy now he'll know you're lying.”

….. Okay you're fucking with me, you had me going for a second. If you're serious, well this should be interesting.

Calum why would I lie about something like this

Calum sent back a screenshot of TMZ showing the arrest of Zachary James and how neither his manager or publicist had any comment.

My guess is you're waiting for this little shit. I see his ex Daisy Mess is back again.

I heard a rumour Ashton had a thing with her sister, Poppy.

That was Luke actually. All three sisters are batshit crazy. I haven't met the oldest, Iris Rose but I've heard enough.

Oh shit I gotta go…. The family just showed up

Helen's mother, Zach's grandma Lila, showed up minutes after his mother and sister. Due to Helen's hearing loss the entire family knew ASL and Eliza and Maggie got to watch the two women silently arguing while sitting quite some distance apart. It was clear Lila blamed them for bringing chaos and disruption around her troubled grandson. Lila was introduced to the sisters after Zach was finally back with them. An argument ensued and not wanting to been seen by the rest of the family, Lila discreetly slipped Eliza a note asking her opinion.

Eliza wrote back “Take him with you to San Diego, he needs a break. He needs a new manager and get his computers and cameras out of that house and away from his sister.”

Lila nodded and asked Eliza if she'd come to San Diego to help out until they replaced Jeanette.

Maggie shook her head behind Lila but Eliza felt she couldn't say no.

It had been a week and Eliza was out of her mind with boredom. Eliza feigned a cat allergy to politely decline Lila's invitation to stay in her gaudy McMansion in a gated community, and Lila paid for a decent hotel. She missed her friends and family. Maggie was on FaceTime every free minute they had. Kevin bombarded her on Snapchat because he lives for the filters. Calum had stuck to texting along with a few Snapchat videos of him with Duke, or at rehearsal with the guys.

Calum found himself missing her terribly. His pulse picked up when he got her notifications. They were at this weird stage where they were dating but not quite an official couple. Calum wanted to be available, but not clingy, flirty but not creepy. The fact that they mostly had a text based relationship gave a whole other set of problems as words on a screen, lacking nuance of tone or body language, could easily be misinterpreted. It was stressing him out, and he didn't get stressed out. ‘

He was Calum Hood, and he didn't stress out over girls. At least until now, and his friends wouldn't stop giving him shit. He had to just smile and take it because they weren't wrong. He hadn't hooked up since Natasha, when he'd literally kicked her out of bed to go meet Eliza. These past few days he'd been low key tempted, as it seemed every girl he'd hooked up with over the past year was hitting up his phone. Jay had even offered to “just come through and suck him off if he wanted,” and it was hard to say no to that

“Come on Calum, you hardly ever come out anymore. Your girl is out of town, and there's nothing that says you HAVE to pull. Just come out have fun with the guys and then go home and jerk off to anime porn, or is that me?” Michael was relentless about Calum coming out to Lucky's. Finally he agreed and after a couple drinks he relaxed and was having a good time. He even chatted with Natasha, well aware she was very good friends with Kevin, who was also there somewhere.

Everything was fine until Ashley, Michael's ex came stumbling over and randomly threw herself at Calum, trying to shove her tongue down his throat and her hand down his pants. He froze,  hesitating to physically shove her off of him. Fortunately Crystal didn't and Ashley was soon on the floor. There was a bit of a scuffle when her friends tried to jump in but Kevin and security threw them out. Calum didn't feel like staying much after that, and Luke left with him grabbing In and Out before going back to Cal's.

“So have you told Eliza how much you like her? How long till you guys become an official couple?” Luke was only half teasing, he and the rest of the guys had noticed a change in Calum. He was happy and more relaxed, but at the same time bristling with a nervous energy.

“It's barely been a month since I met her, and you know I suck at relationships,” Calum shook his head looking dejected.

“You're doing pretty well so far with Eliza. You're always texting her, and you took her on actual dates. Something I've never seen you do. I've also never seen you go this long without a hookup, your balls must be killing you,” Luke snickered finishing off his burger.

“Piss off, what's your point anyways?” he pulled out his phone to text Eliza.

“You should go see her,” Luke told him.

“That's insane, I'd look like a fucking stalker,” Calum looked at him like he was crazy.

“Come on, she's stuck in San Diego on babysitting duty. She told you herself she's bored out of her mind, and hates going to crowded places alone. Surprise her and take her out, get your own hotel room if you have to. You're just going to drink and pout all weekend if you don't,” Luke checked his phone. “Ashton is still at Lucky's I'm gonna have him ask Kevin.”

“Luke I'll kill you,” Calum glared at him. “Don't you dare.”

“Too late, now let's see what Kevin says,” Luke shrugged.

Evie was thrilled at the way Eliza took charge of the Zachary James situation and had given her free reign to turn it around. Unfortunately it was taking longer than expected to find a manager leaving her stuck in babysitting duty as well as being in charge of the hiring committee. The week had been tedious meetings or emotionally draining sessions with Zach. Tomorrow was Friday,  she had two interviews and a phone conference with Evie. She couldn't go home until Tuesday at the earliest, but at least her schedule was free this weekend. Eliza wanted to go do something fun, but she hated dealing with large crowds on her own.

Luke laughed when Ashton texted him back, “apparently Kevin wants your number so y'all can surprise your girl, and he just found out there's something called the 'Calum Challenge’ to see if they can break you.”

Before Calum could ask what was going on Kevin was blowing up his phone

Eliza stared at her phone in disbelief. Kevin just wouldn't stay out of her business.

He came out last night and everything was cool, until this random thot tried to hop on his dick right there in VIP. Your mans panicked and almost threw that bitch across the room, but he can't lay hands on a female cuz his mama raised him right, so he's trying to pry her off of him without hurting her. Lucky for him I saw the whole thing and told Mikey's girl Crys to handle it.

That's not what I asked you Kevin. Why are you talking to Calum? What are you up to?

I'm trying to tell you, if you'll listen. So these broads have come up with the Calum challenge. They have a bet to see which one can get him to break first.

That can't be a real thing? Why is it that big of a deal?

Because they are all jealous little bitches who never thought Calum would settle down.

Settled down? This is ridiculous

So Calum was worried I'd tell you he was kissing another girl. That's how we ended up texting after he left with Luke. He wanted to surprise you so tomorrow keep your eyes open. Cal also helped me sweet talk Nat into covering my shift Saturday night. So get ready bitch because I'm picking you up at 10am.  I've got a big surprise for you so look cute.

Is Calum coming with you???

I wish that was the surprise, but his friend has that big birthday party Saturday night, and all the boys are going.

I know, just wishing, I know he can't miss something important like that.

Eliza finally got done with her meetings. She was thrilled to find Calum had sent her flowers, which were waiting at the front desk. Since Kevin insisted to dress up to his standards, Eliza went shopping. She found a bold bright blue peacock print tunic on sale that she could wear over her favorite black leggings and some cute blue suede flat heeled boots that were spendy but super comfortable.

Kevin texted her moments after her alarm went off.

I'm about two hours away. Your ass better be dressed, hair and makeup done and ready to walk out the door when I get there.

Eliza grumbled but she got up, Kevin hated mornings more than she did, so if he was making this much effort she had to as well.

She pulled her hair into two curly puffs on either side, it was too early and damp to do anything thing other than try and keep her hair under control. Seeing she had about 40 minutes to kill she made another cup of chai and continued reading a book of love poems from Persia in Farsi she'd borrowed from Maggie. She got lost reading until her phone was vibrating off the table and the strobe light by her bed was flashing.

WTF Eliza I come all this way, and you're not gonna answer open your door you gorgeous bitch

Eliza jumped up and ran to the door knowing Kevin would be in a mood because he had to wait.  Phone still in one hand, she flung open the door an apology on her fingertips, when she saw him she stopped dead in her tracks.

It wasn't Kevin, but Calum on the other side of the door, holding a lovely bouquet and smiling at her. She felt her phone vibrate again and looked at it trying to figure out what was going on.

Surprise!!!!! There's no way in hell I was driving to San Diego this early. Enough with this charade, tell Romeo I’m going back to sleep. Have fun with dog boy.. love you.

@wildhearthood @kiiiimberlyriiiicker1995 @cal-puddies @biba3434 @babygirlcashton @angelbabylu @itstheholls @5sos-ficssmut @cal-pal-cuddles @calumh-excess @1dthewantedlove @you-of-ghost

[themcuhasruinedme]

Vintage Film Fest (Pt. 2)

[Summary]: You and Steve have been dating for a while and you surprise him with a pair of tickets to a vintage film festival as an anniversary date

[Pairing]: Steve x reader

[Word Count]: 2,369

Tagging: @theashhole @dividedwecantfall @peterman-parker @avengerofyourheart @nataliarxmanxva @metalarmproblems @mcuimxgine @accio-rogers @imagine-assembling-the-avengers @that-sokovian-bastard @hellomissmabel @abovethesmokestacks @peculiar-persephone @bellameys @beccaanne814 @hymnofthevalkyrie @buckys-shield @callamint @redgillan @lancefvcker @thetalesofmooseandsquirrel @iwillbeinmynest @theassetseyeliner @lilasiannerd @aubzylynn @sgtbxckybxrnes @iamwarrenspeace @marvelrevival @httpmcrvel @avengersnthings @feelmyroarrrr @girl-next-door-writes @honey-bee-holly @patzammit

A/N: Second Laurel and Hardy gif was made by yours truly! So, since Tumblr links no longer work you can find the first part of this short series in my masterlist. And again, I encourage you guys to watch the movies and shorts I mention in this as they are all wonderful and amazing (heads up though: some of them are silent!) and all can be found on YouTube. I also suggest you listen to the song I mention at the end while reading it.. it’ll make the mood even sweeter!

Night number two of your four night vintage film fest came fast. And you were sure that this one was going to be really good as well. You couldn’t wait till you and Steve got back to the theater. When it was time to go, Steve practically rushed you out the door.

“Steve!” you yelled as you almost tripped over your own shoe.

“What?” he said as he locked the door. “I wanna make sure that we get good seats again.”

You stood next to the car and placed your hands on your hips, giving him “the face”. He stopped, looked down and gave a sheepish grin then ever so slightly looked up at you with those puppy dog eyes. You cracked almost instantly.

“Damn you and those eyes,” you huffed, as he unlocked the car grinning widely, knowing he won you over once again.

When you got there and Steve parked the car, he helped you out and he offered you his arm once again. He never ceased to amaze you. As excited as he was about this and wanted to make sure he got good seats again for the two of you, he still acted like a gentleman. And after getting snacks and drinks, the two of you walked into a half filled theater but still found some decent seats.

After you put your cup in the cupholder, you looked around and nudged Steve saying, “I guess other people thought of your plan too.” And gave him a small smile and winked. He rolled his eyes and you playfully hit his arm.

There was still some time to wait before the movies and shorts started so you played some games on your phone. You then took a selfie of you and Steve and posted it to your Insta, captioning it with “Spending our six month anniversary the bet way possible: doing a vintage film fest!” and added several hearts to the end.

When it was finally time for everything to start you nestled a bit more into your seat, linked your arm around Steve’s and intertwined your fingers with his. Placing your head on his shoulder, you felt him kiss the top of it and you just couldn’t help but smile.

Your smile got even wider when you saw what the first short was that appeared on the screen; Buster Keaton’s Cops. This was one of your absolute favorites for a reason. His stunt skills in this were out of this word.

Laughter already broke out within the first minute when it looked like Buster was behind bars but was in fact behind a gate. You never saw so many kids laugh so hard in their lives, let alone to something as simple as that.

And even more laughter happened when Buster tried to help out a man and his wallet but then turned to gasps when the kids noticed that another man Buster tried helping only wanted the money that he had by making it look like he was thrown out of his apartment with all his “furniture” which happened to be someone else’s that was moving out.

But laugh rang out once more when Buster had bought a horse and loaded the furniture on the wagon with the help of the people that were moving. It became quiet again as he wandered his way to nowhere with the horse and the wagon full of furniture but then got caught in a parade full of police.

Gasps broke out once more when someone threw a bomb into the parade but landed next to Buster and he lit a cigarette with the fuse and threw it off to the side, making it explode in front of a group of cops. It quickly turned to laughter when Buster started getting chased by the hundreds of cops and getting into crazy situations with them. Along with having one his most famous stunts happen: him grabbing the end of a vehicle as it drives past him, literally pulling him of the ground.

It gave you goosebumps every time you watched it, knowing that Buster did that stunt all on his own. You swore that he was in a league all his own when it came to stunts and even though Harold Lloyd did his all his own stunts too, he couldn’t hold a candle to Buster. Nobody could.

When the first break in between shorts happened, you and Steve sat in your seats patiently waiting for the next one to start. The couple behind you recognized Steve and asked if they could get a pic with him which was fine with both of you. They then started a conversation with you, asking how long you and Steve had been together and what movies and shorts were your favorites out of what was played so far. The four of you talked until the lights went dark again in the theater and the next one started.

You got so excited when you saw which one was playing next: Laurel and Hardy’s You’re Darn Tootin’, your absolute favorite silent short from the duo. Laughter erupted as soon as the title card popped up: “The story of two musicians who played neither by note nor ear - - They used brute strength - -” and it kept going when the band leader tapped his stick to make everyone sit down, except Stan and Ollie which made him tap it again, and this time the boys sat down while everyone else stood up.

Hilarity ensued as Stan and Ollie kept messing up their parts and Stan’s clarinet kept having pieces fall off. More laughter rang out as the two of them made a complete mess of the whole band and were fired. The theater was quiet once more when the boys went back to the boarding house they were staying at and the landlady threw them out after finding out they had no job any more.

The laughing picked back up when the boys went through a series of trying to be street musicians but were still screwing everything up and nobody liked hearing them anyway, which then turned into Stan and Ollie having an argument and ruining each other’s instrument.

You swore that the laughter could’ve been heard from the street as the next part happened which was Laurel and Hardy getting into a fight and started to tear each other’s clothes apart, which then somehow spread to passersby's in general, until the street was filled with men pulling each other's pants off.

When the short ended and the lights went on, you saw so many people wiping the tears from their eyes because of laughing so hard. It was such a great sight to see, especially seeing that so many kids were enjoying themselves with watching all these old yet wonderful films and shorts. 

You and Steve took turns going to the restroom and refilling your drinks and had just enough time left before the next one started. And it was all smiles for you and Steve again when you two saw what the next one was.

Another one of Laurel and Hardy but this was the first film they did together called Pardon Us and the laughter started almost immediately when Stan talked and made a raspberry. Laughs continued seeing as the boys got arrested for selling their own home made beer to a police officer.

Laughter came and went with watching the boys go to “school” in jail, get locked up in solitary over night, escape from jail only to get caught and get into more trouble due to Stan’s loose tooth that buzzed every time he talked.

But the best part was when Stan had to go get to the dentist to get it pulled. It was one of your favorite scenes mostly due to Stan being so overly nervous about the whole thing.

Soon the movie was over and a little longer break took place. You and Steve turned around and conversed again with the couple behind you. It was so nice getting to talk to a couple that looked around to be in their early thirties and to learn that they both grew up watching these old movies from their grandparents and met during a film festival.

“It’s amazing where you can find love, isn’t it?” you asked.

The girl shook her head and kissed her husband on the cheek. When she pulled away, the speakers made the announcement that the theater was going to be playing the next film in three minutes. And soon it started.

Yet another one of your favorite Buster movies came on, Seven Chances. You loved the fact that this one had three whole minutes, THREE WHOLE MINUTES of color at the beginning of it. You told Steve it was because at the time, that was when colored film was started to be tested out. And you couldn’t contain your sighs when you saw Buster in color. Steve gave you a side-eyed glance and you noticed, which made you giggle.

“I still love you,” you whispered and kissed his cheek.

“As long as I know the competition I’m up against,” he said sarcastically with a sly grin. You gave him “the face” once again and he couldn’t help but smile and wrap you in his arms.

The audience watched quietly as Buster was told by a lawyer that he was to inherit seven million dollars providing he is married by seven o’clock on his twenty-seventh birthday, which was that day.

You started hearing sniffles from parts of the theater as Buster went to ask the only girl he ever loved to marry her. But after a bad explanation as to why they were to be married that day, terrible heart break happened and you started hearing louder sobs. You yourself started to get teary eyed and brought out a couple tissues from your purse to dab away the tears.

Hilarity soon started to ensue though as he started to go ask seven women that he knew were available to marry him, each with hilarious results of the answer being a no. Roars of laughter continued as Buster’s friend said he would help him find a bride, while Buster then started to ask every single girl he met to marry him, each and every single encounter having it’s hilarious results.

Laughter pretty much continued throughout the rest of the movie, especially when every woman possible started to pour into the church after they read in the paper that Buster was to inherit all that money. The laughter came even harder during the chase scene when all of them started chasing him but not before he found out that the girl he loved, the first one he asked to marry, really did want to marry him, all the while trying to make sure he married her before seven o’clock, looking at every clock possible.

As the chase scene went on, you loved seeing Buster run. You swore that man could outrun anything. And the stunts he did during the chase! It amazed you that even though you had seen this film numerous times, it still managed to give you goosebumps from seeing him grab onto the spare tire of a moving car, running and jumping across a small canyon to jumping and rolling into rocks which start an avalanche and eventually make the mob of women run away.

Quietness finally came when Buster made it back to the house but was told he was too late. Sniffles from around the theater started up again as the girl still wanted to marry him money or not but he refused to let her share his impending disgrace. More sniffles and a few louder sobs happened when the most beautiful somber face overcame Buster.

When the movie ended, cheers and applause broke out. You heard several people around you say what a beautiful and funny film it was and that the chase scene was the best part.

Another break happened before the last movie of the night and it seemed to go by very quick. Before you knew it, the lights of the theater dimmed once more and you were thrilled that it was ending with a Harold Lloyd talkie film. You loved hearing him talk. He had such a cute voice.

Laughter erupted when Harold practiced his acting in the kitchen and when he left the car running because of his excitement from getting his letter from Hollywood, which caused it to roll backwards and crash into another car.

Laughs were plentiful throughout the film, with seeing Harold cause trouble with his first “acting” job, meeting the production chief and losing his shoe down the drain pipe during a storm.

You smiled at the gasps and tiny bit of chatter that were heard through the theater when Harold went to go give flowers to a girl he likes and she rejected them, throwing to the floor and kicking them only to fall and Harold catch her in his arms and kiss her. And you smiled even bigger when you heard sighs come from all over when he kissed her again.

You looked over at Steve who rolled his eyes over the drama and placed your fingers on his chin, slowly turning his face towards you. He looked at you with those blue eyes dancing in darkness. You then gently placed your lips on his and he wrapped you tightly in his arms as he deepened the kiss. Pulling away, he smiled at you and you nestled your head on his chest as he wrapped his arm around your shoulder.

When the movie was over and everyone filed out of the theater, you and Steve slowly made your way to the car. With no clouds and a full moon hanging in the night sky, it made the most beautiful light dance around the two of you. You started to hum “There’s A Moon Out Tonight” which turned into you singing it which then turned into a full on dance with Steve in the parking lot.

It almost felt like as if you were just swept up in one of these old movies. It felt like pure movie magic.

[tazzmanien]

Day6 concert in Amsterdam

I know i'm way too late, writing about the Day6 concert in Amsterdam. Better late than never. (And I had a stressful week and am sick.)

In short: I loved it! I have the after concert blues.

In very long:

They played all the songs that I like. Unfortunately they sang only a part of Congratulation themselves, as they let the audience sing the first half. I know it was very cool to hear the Dutch audience sing a Korean Song so good, but I love this song so much that I would have preferred to hear it sang by the band completely. Shoot me was my favorite song before and it hit high peak at the show, it landed in my all time top 10 kpop songs now! And the length of the show was great.

The guys were just perfect. Maybe too perfect at times, but perfect anyhow. First of all they all played their instruments perfectly. I couldn't hear almost any mistakes. So I can't say who played the best. I think they all did! They also sang so so good. Not to be biased, but I liked Jaes singing the best, as it was the realest. Still all sang great. I was there for the music, but let's be real, all of them are beautiful human beings. If you ask me who was the most beautiful objectively speaking, I couldn't answer. Oh and they all looked so mature. I don't know how to explain this, but like men and not boys or something. Sometimes they gave me the vibe that all they were doing or saying was just rehearsed, but then they would do some random things and they'll feel real. I still don't know what was the truth, but overall I enjoyed it, even if it only was fan service, I don't care. What I did believe 100% was when they were talking about how special the world tour was for them. I mean which artist wouldn't feel like that. It was their first after all and they sold out pretty big places and were able to travel a lot. I would be so happy for the travelling alone!

I couldn't see Wonpil most of the time unfortunately. But he seemed happy and was very very cute during his speach. Shy lil guy. Great voice too.

I was very sad to not have been able to see Young K better, as he was close to Wonpil. But the few times I got a clear view of him I almost tripped. He is really handsome and a flirt. Wow! Dude keep all that hotness to yourself, I already have JB for that! Really he must be bipolar, he seems to be such a cute and dorky person, but within seconds he looks like a sly flirtatious fox. Me when I looked at him: 😲🤤🤪

Oh and he looked like he enjoyed rapping a lot. His voice in general sounded the most different from the records. Still I liked it.

Dowoon was the cutest by far. His smile and laugh were pure happiness. I believe he even got the biggest applause from the audience. People went crazy before he spoke. Seeing him blush and laugh was a true treat. I couldn't hear a single error in his playing, but he still didn't look like it was a big deal to hit the drums, you know how some other drummers tend to look exhausted. He looked like a true performer. Very cool.

Sungjin was the one I could see all the time and clearly. And he reminded me of the cool guy from a school band. I'm not a huge fan of school bands, but he made me rethink. I'm curious how tens his neck must have been from standing bent over like he did ( if you've seen pics of him performing you'll know what I mean). He looked really cool like that, but I believe a normal neck would not play along for that long. The faces he made were gold. He seems like a guy I would love to have as a friend. I don't know, like a mix of fun and wise. He had a very clear singing voice. Great job.

And last but not least Jae. Jae is not my bias for nothing. Such a funny, hyper, talented bundle of chaos. He seemed so happy. Jumping around and making fun of poor Wonpil and laughing at the others and the translator (who apparently was not the best). And jumping from stage to get close to the audience. He even climbed the barrier to see us in the back and waved to us. I was surprised how great he was singing (I always thought the others were better for some reason). I would have almost said he sang the best, but in some songs the joy took over and he shouted or sang little out of tune, but it still sounded though he had all under control. To make this shorter he was born to be an entertainer! Unfortunately he had way too much makeup on him, but still he was very handsome.

The sound was very very clean and professional. It sounded almost like on record. Which is cool. But me being the oldschool kinda person, would have loved to hear a more raw version of the music. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed it like this as well. They must be really great musicians, to be able to play their instruments with almost no errors and to sing almost perfectly the whole set through. And one could hear that it was indeed life and not playback, which I think is a must for such music! Also it was quiet a big hall so the technicians did a great job in making such a clean sound. So even though the music was not raw, I was glad to experience such a great quality of sound with a band playing and singing live.

The people in the audience were very friendly and everyone was kinda happy and chill, so the vibe was really good. At least that's what I've experienced. I went with a friend and she is very funny, so it might've been us that made the vibe. Btw the audience sang two songs, and really good if I might add. Also very positive was that during some songs there were almost no mobile phones in sight, as people were actually dancing, jumping or just enjoying the music for once. I loved that part especially! Being the oldschool person, I love kpop music mainly for its music and not for the looks. But I know that most people in all kpop fandom are not there for the music only, so this surprised me the most.

Mydays are just cool I guess ! Love you guys!

The organization was okay I think. We came 2 hours after the numbering started and got pretty decent numbers. The wristbands were our entry ticket later on, which I think was a great thing. We were only GA1 and were standing completely to the left with only one girl before us and the barrier, so we ended up standing relatively close, yet still kinda far away from the stage. Close enough to see them very clearly, but almost too far for videos and already too far for photos. I can imagine GA2 to be pretty unhappy, as they were further away.

The videos played in the background were nice, but together with the lights they made it difficult to see the guys. The light show on its own was a huge mess in my opinion. Yeah, it was in sync with the music and it was really artistic sometimes and even really special occasionally. But they overdid it! I felt that they should have shown a warning sign for people with epilepsy. Really! During two songs it was like in a really annoying disco. I would have overlooked it, if it were just annoying, but sometimes you couldn't see the band properly and making pictures was almost impossible, as the lights were directed at the audience 50% of the time. This sort of light show might be cool for other kpop acts, but not for a real band like Day6. Also the guys were hit with such bright lights, that they actually looked white. And I mean white white, as in white like a paper and not white like a caucasian. I can only imagine how annoying this must have been to the guys. So I have no good videos or pictures to show, but I guess there are already dozens of great ones from the VIPs.

The merch was okay, but not especially great.

Oh and this was the first time I enjoyed the confetti. It somehow fit the vibe and they shot it over more then half of the audience which was a lot. Now I get the hype.

This was long... have I forgotten something? Any questions? (@scoundrels-in-love 🙂)

Conclusion: Cant wait to see them again! I want Sungjin as a big brother or friend. Jae should be my best friend for real. Young K is dangerous. Wonpil and Dowoon are cuties. The all are great musicians and entertainers. The light effect guys should calm down a pinch.

[maevefiction]

Your Light in the Mist - One Shot, Been Shopping

As we munched our Kung Po chicken (Chinese food was a Thursday tradition at the office, I was informed by Gavin, whose face was bright red and sweating from the intensely spicy concoction) I remembered I’d yet to inquire as to what I was expected to turn up in for Phaedra’s event at the Cube Gallery the following evening. Simon’s chopsticks fell from his fingers, mouth agape.

“Do you always wait until the very last moment for this sort of thing, Maude? I thought New York was just a fluke because you had no idea you were going to Daniel…is this a pattern? I am tres disappointed.”

Using my entire hand, fingers spread, I pointed at the worn Lord of the Rings T-shirt I’d thrown on that morning. “Dude, does it LOOK like I put a shitload of thought into what I wear most of the time?”

He peeked under the table. “You wore those shorts Tuesday, didn’t you?”

I nodded emphatically, brows raised. “NOW you’re getting it.”

Shrugging, he swallowed another bit of chicken. “No, I’m not. Because you weren’t a total slob in HAWAII.” I kicked him under the table. “OW. Bitch. I meant that whenever we went out you looked beautiful…”

Leaning back in my chair, eyes closed, I took a deep breath, then spoke, softly at first, my voice rising as I made my point. “That’s why I’m ASKING. So I can make a valiant attempt at looking DECENT. And since it’s so LAST MINUTE, can you just maybe please, oh, I don’t know, TELL ME WHAT THE DRESS CODE IS ALREADY?”

Luke was smirking, looking back and forth between us as if he was watching a rousing tennis match. “Suit and tie, Maude. With plenty of leeway for artistic expression. My mother’s friends are…interesting.”

“Thank you, Luke. I’m sure I brought something with me that’ll work.”

Simon pushed himself up off the cushioned bench seat and reached out his hand to me. “Come on.” I remained motionless, looking up at him as if he was an alien creature about to attack. His head tipped back, eyes rolling. “We are going up to your flat. I will peer into your closet. I will determine if any of it ‘works’.”

I shot Luke a ‘what the fuck’ look, his half smile and shrug clearly indicating that my life would be simpler if I just went with it. I stood, reluctantly, gazing longingly at the remains of my lunch.

“Fine. But I just thought of the perfect dress…”

He crossed his arms. “That brown galaxy print?” I nodded, my turn to gape. Simon shook his head. “Yeah, no.”

“Why not? And what the hell, Simon? This is starting to piss me off…”

Both of his hands found my shoulders and settled there. “You already WORE that one. Maude? You do realize that this is a widely publicized event? And that somehow, someone…” He whipped his head around to the other staff table. “SOMEONE mentioned online that one Mr. Hiddleston would be in attendance.”

My head tilted to the side. Simon sighed. “Maude. This is, like, your LONDON DEBUT as a COUPLE. There will be press. There will be paps. There will be fans.”

“OOOHHHHHH. So you’re going all PR on my ass is what’s happening here.” I grinned. “Well, I’m glad someone’s paying attention. Tom’s woefully inadequate Social Media Director didn’t even notice it circulating on them there interwebs.”

Luke chuckled. “She’s not woefully inadequate.”

I sighed. “I can’t chastise you because you’re my boss. But I’m certain you sense my displeasure.”

We all laughed, and Luke stood. “I’m sure that after our conversation yesterday afternoon your mind is focused on other things.”

“Do you mean the quadrupled workload I managed to dump into my own lap because I had an idea? No. I’m not obsessing over that at all. Wait. You said focused. I’m not focusing on that at all.”

Simon took my hand and pointed at Luke. “Sorry, boss man. I’m kidnapping her for the rest of the afternoon.”

My head shook vehemently. “No you are not. I have SO many phone calls to make and hopefully interviews to arrange and why I am I suddenly not capable of dressing myself?”

“Maude, honey, you’re in a strange city. Our customs are unfamiliar to you. Let’s skip the closet part and just GO SHOPPING.” His brows rose as he finished his sentence, face leaning in towards mine and I realized he probably had an ulterior motive.

“Fine, Simon. FINE. Shopping.” I turned to Luke. “Is this really okay with you?”

He laughed. “I have to live with the man. A-okay.”

As we walked up the stairs Simon whispered in my ear. “Sorry, love. I saw an opportunity and went for it. Glad you finally caught on there at the end.”

I snorted. “I have no idea what the fuck I caught on to, but you SHOULD be glad because I was ready to kick your ass for insulting my fashion sense. Do I like to bum around when I can? Absofuckingloutely. When the occasion demands do I clean up well? Also absofuckingloutely.”

He shushed me as we reached the door to the main level. I grabbed my bag from my office, pulling my phone out as we walked passed a confused Lyssa. Simon went all Monty Python and yelled ‘You been shopping? No, I been shopping!’ as we headed through the door.

As I rang Tom’s phone he rolled his eyes. “God, do you have to tell him EVERYTHING?”

I smacked his arm. “Shut the fuck up.” Tom, of course, picked up just as the words came out of my mouth. “Shit. Hi. That was for Simon, not you. So. Hey. How are you?”

His throaty chuckle at my awkwardness made me blush. Stupid schoolgirl Maude strikes again. “Hi to you too. What’s up?”

“You know, I’m not really sure but it would appear that Simon is dragging me out shopping so I can find a dress for tomorrow night. At least that’s what he told Luke…”

Simon grabbed the phone away from my ear via my wrist, walking me away from the office door, stopping near the stairs closest to Tom’s and my flat and speaking as it remained in my hand. “Thomas. I believe have found the perfect dress for my maid of honor and I am taking her to try it on. DO NOT, under any circumstances, tell Luke. I want every little detail to be in place before he sees ANY of what I’m planning.”

I frowned. “So…I’m NOT getting a dress for tomorrow night?”

“Yes, yes, we’re going to find a dress for you. And some coffee because you are like…DUH.”

Wriggling away from him I pressed the phone back to my ear. “So there you have it. We are now participants in a wedding conspiracy. Apparently. I don’t suppose you want to come with us?”

I could picture his head shaking back and forth slowly as he spoke. “No, no…the two of you go have some fun. I’ll just stay…here…enjoying the peace…and the quiet…”

“How rude. So, shall I send you some pics…”

“Dressing room pics? God yes. Please.” A sharp inhale. “I don’t suppose you have five minutes to spare before you leave? Maybe Simon needs to put more gel in his hair or something?”

Simon shouted ‘I heard that you bloody bastard’ as I bit into my bottom lip. “I meant pictures of the prospective dresses for tomorrow. Just so you know.” The air in the lobby seemed stiflingly hot. “Fuck, is the air conditioning not working in here or something?”

Tom snorted. “Funny, I was wondering the same thing. One particular part of me is decidedly warmer than the rest, though…”

“Okay. On that note, we should get going. Because…”

He uttered a delicate groan. “Oh my, it got all HARD when I touched it…”

“Nuh-uh. Going now. Love you.”

“Love you too.”

Simon made gagging noises and pretended to vomit on the carpet as I put my phone away, and I hoped beyond hope he’d ACTUALLY vomit all over his two-tone striped grey John Varvatos Mykanos Venetian loafers. Paired with white to-the-knee shorts and a grey polo that matched the darker stripe of the shoes perfectly, he looked as if he’d just stepped off his yacht and was in search of the nearest appropriately upscale men’s club. As I looked down at my own clothes, I came to terms with the fact that even if he’d used it as a ruse to sneak around behind Luke’s back, the man had a point about my attire. Just like Veronica had in New York. Shaking my head, I muttered something along the lines of needing to find some less fashion-forward friends who wouldn’t be so focused on my clothing choices and thus I’d be allowed to live a normal life wherein wearing the same shorts twice in week wasn’t a scandal.

“MAUDE, I heard that!”

“Good. Have you ever, you know, thought of dressing DOWN?”

He gasped. “And break rule number sixty four under section eight of the Exceedingly Handsome Homosexual Male’s Handbook? NEVER.”

My eyes narrowed as I suppressed a huge grin. “Well played, Mr. Ahlberg. Well played.”

He reached for my hand, squeezing it gently, his own baby-soft and warm with an underlying strength that somehow surprised me. “Come on, gimpy. You can make it to the parking garage, can’t you?”

“Yes, asshat. Let’s motor.”

We walked down the street hand in hand, our arms swing as he sang a little song about having me all to himself for an entire afternoon. I spotted Tom’s Jaguar, and totally lost my shit when Simon’s key fob disarmed a Fiat 500 L two cars down from it, its paint an eye-assaulting robin’s egg blue.

“Simon. My god. That’s…fuck…it’s so…YOU it’s not even funny.”

He opened the passenger door for me, one hand on his hip. “So why are you laughing?”

Which of course made me laugh even harder, and he finally had to come get me and practically stuff me in the vehicle, rolling his eyes the entire time.

We sat until I assured him I wasn’t going to pee my pants, then he put the Fiat in gear and exited the garage. Once on the road, he turned on the stereo and Alice in Chains began blaring…Grind, one of my favorites.

“Holy shit, Alice in Chains! Color me impressed, Simon.”

“Yes, my musical tastes expand beyond Rick Astley and Gloria Gaynor.”

I chuckled. “What’s the handbook say about THAT?”

“God. Why don’t you shut up and sing with me?”

It was shocking how well our voices harmonized, and as the song ended with both said in unison ‘oh my god, duet’ and discussed what might be appropriate for Emma’s HeForShe talent show until Simon drove past a huge building bearing the name ‘Vogue House’, then parked one street down.

I felt my body go cold and twisted around to face him. “Um, Simon? That Vogue bit…that’s not, like, VOGUE vogue, is it?”

A fiendish grin spread across his face. “If you mean Conde Nast publications Vogue magazine, then yes. Big giant fucking YES. But we’re actually going to see someone at Glamour, an old friend from college. Elaine Casemuir. We’re really just casual acquaintances at this point, but she used to come in to the Dorchester and I’d make sure she always had a great table, so this is payback. This dress…it’s just…perfect. I managed to score the Gherkin for the ceremony and reception…there may have been some blackmail involved, but a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do. Here, look.”

He handed me his phone, and my reaction as I scrolled the photos went from oh, nice to fuck me that is the coolest place EVER. According to their website, weddings and receptions were held on the top two floors of the most incredible steel and glass, phallic building I’d ever laid eyes on. I hazarded a guess that the Gherkin was a pickle reference, which was probably what most non-horny 24/7 people saw when they looked at. 360 degree panoramic views of the London cityscape, totally modern interior…glorious.

“Simon. Blackmail. WORTH IT. Not gonna ask, because…probably better not to know. And…”

“Oh please. You SO want to know. The guy who books events hangs around with us in clubs on occasion. He’s also sleeping with one of the waiters there who’s barely out of high school. His wife would NOT be amused if she knew about either of those things.”

“SIMON.”

“What?”

“You are so…so…WICKED. I’m impressed.” I patted his shoulder. “Luke is a very lucky man.”

He sniffled. “No, I’m the one who’s lucky. I want to make this so special, because it means so, so much to both of us…damn you, making me cry. Now my skin’s going to be all blotchy when we see Elaine and she’ll be all oh, Simon, your skin is horrid, darling and I’ll have to slap her. She’s a writer, by the way, and she also does a ton of photoshoot arranging. Which means access to designer lines. I saw the dress a week and a half ago and had her track it down that day, it’s a Valentino from the 2015 Spring/Summer collection…matches my color scheme of black and white and silver PERFECTLY…”

I raised a brow as I removed my hand from his shoulder. “Um, you ARE aware that I’m a double-D cup who barely fits in a size twelve, yes?”

Pinching my nose, he giggled before speaking. “I am indeed. It’s from the Ready-to-Wear line. And it’s a twelve. As for your boobs fitting…that’s why god made duct tape.”

“Oh, fuck that…I’m still recovering from body glue trauma…”

“AH AH AH, NO. Come on. Let’s go in.” He got out and came around to open my door, extending a hand to help me up and out.

I stood and closed the door behind me. “Yeah, yeah.  Wait…you only asked me to be your maid of honor last Friday…”

He stared at the ground, toeing one foot across the pavement, then glanced up at me sheepishly. “Correct. I would have been heartbroken if you’d said no.”

Wrapping my arms around him, I kissed his cheek. “Aw. Simon.”

“Mainly because the dress was a fucking small fortune.”

“Whatever. Let’s go before I kill you.”

****************************************

Elaine’s office was at the rear of the building, within the main Glamour office itself. She squealed when she saw Simon, throwing herself at him, her stick-thin arms wrapping around him and pulling his head to her chest. Clad in a red micro-mini and white button down shirt, her straight black hair was impossibly shiny and just brushed her shoulders, the white patent leather heels she wore causing her to tower over Simon by at least three inches. Her gaze turned to me and though her face remained happy-happy I swore I could smell her disappointment as she took in my state of dress. When she spoke, I was stunned to hear an American accent.

“Hello there, Maude. Nice to meet you. I’m Elaine Casemuir” She thrust her hand out, and I shook it, hesitant to grab too tightly lest I break a bone on her.

“Nice to meet you as well, Elaine.”

Simon clapped excitedly. “Dress, Elaine. SHOW HER THE DRESS.”

She rolled her eyes and released my hand. “Simon, you have no chill. Follow me.”

We walked out of the office and down the rest of the hallway to a light blue metal door. She unlocked it, entered the room and indicated that we should join her inside. It was vast, racks upon racks of clothing and all sorts of accessories strewn about. She teetered on her heels three racks down, turned left, grunted several times, then shouted ‘victory’. When she rounded the corner and held up what she’d found, I immediately turned to Simon, grabbed his bicep and spoke using my terribly inappropriate for this particular setting outdoor voice.

“I. FUCKING. LOVE. IT.”

It was floor length, a filmy light grey, very transparent with appliquéd silver stars of varying size, a combination of some resembling starfish and others the traditional five point star formation covering both the lightly pleated, flowing skirt and form-fitting bodice. And my lord, that bodice…the sleeves were short and just the teensiest bit puffy with a little ruffle ring at the bottoms, and the neck was…a V. A V that extended to just an inch above the two-inch wide waistband, and unlike the skirt, there was no underlayment whatsoever and no way to wear a bra so it was totally HELLO NIPPLES.

He grinned widely. “I knew you’d love it. You have no shame.”

I pointed my index finger in his face. “Mmm hmm. Let’s remember this is for your WEDDING. What are YOU wearing? Assless chaps?”

“Don’t think it didn’t cross my mind, Maude. My ass is spectacular and deserves accolades. But our mothers will be there, so…no.”

“Your mother will be there? I’m…shit, I’m shocked, actually.”

He sighed. “We can’t all be lucky enough to have them check out on us early, honey.” He paused, taking stock of what he’d just said, then frowning. “Damn. Too soon?”

My head shook as I bit back a roar of laughter, suddenly conscious of Elaine’s presence. She cleared her throat and pointed left, handing off the dress to Simon.

“Changing area is that way, and my assistant Diandra will help pin you up once you’re in it if it needs altering. If it does, just leave it and I’ll call when it’s ready. If not, take it with. I’ve got a conference call in ten, so I probably won’t see you. Lovely meeting you, Maude. Simon, you better invite me to this shindig or I’m going to feature you in the fashion don’ts column online.”

His hand flew to his chest in mock horror. Or at least I thought it was mock. “You wouldn’t dare.”

She smirked. “Try me.”

Eyes rolling, he draped the dress over his right arm and put his left hand on his hip, pouting. “Fine, you’ll get an invite. But bring someone interesting. You know, not your USUAL date type.”

“Simon, baby…it’s New Years Eve. I’m flying solo and finding someone at the reception to lock lips with at the stroke of midnight. Gay wedding, lots of straight friends, I’m bi…statistically, I can’t lose.”

She waved goodbye and tottered back toward her office, and Simon and I made our way down to the changing area. Though all the way at the rear of the left side of the room, it was wide open to the rest of the space. There were built in wooden benches littered with shoes and gloves and scarves, and the entire back wall was mirrored. We were greeted by a gorgeous woman with dark brown, luminous skin, huge hazel eyes and a smile that rivaled Tom’s mega-watt one. She was wearing a chevron print tank dress in varying shades of chartreuse, shoes that matched the darkest chevrons, and her hair was piled neatly on top of her head and wound with a silk light green scarf. She greeted us first, her Caribbean accent melodic, making even the simplest of words seem important and joyful.

“Hello you two…make yourselves at home, and if you need anything, I’ll be playing in the stacks. Such beautiful clothes…fashion paradise, right here and now!” She laughed, then began searching and sorting. I shimmied out of my shorts and yanked my T-shirt up over my head without fanfare, catching Simon side-eyeing me in the mirror.

“Problem, Simon?”

He snickered. “Oh no, no problem. Just admiring your speed and technique. You could use a little more finesse, though. I had to take points off for that.”

I reached around my back to unhook my bra. “Well, if you don’t want a good, long look at my tits you should probably turn around. Or close your eyes. Something.”

He turned around, then looked down as he passed me the dress when I was ready to attempt to wriggle into it. “You know, you could have left the bra ON. I was joking about the no shame bit.”

“No, I couldn’t have. I’m not going to be able to wear one with it later, so I need to know how it fits without. I see silver star shaped pasties in my future, though. Or maybe nude ones would be better…forgot about the parent factor.”

“Roland’s going to be in the wedding party, too. He’s Luke’s best man. I think he’d probably like the star pasties better, but I suppose I need to exercise some parental moral responsibility at some point, so nude is probably the right choice. Of course I thought of none of this when I saw the dress initially. I was captivated by the shiny.”

Laughing as I lifted the gathered fabric over my head, I had to pause to stop myself from turning around to talk to him. “You? Captivated by shiny? Nope, not possible.” I worked my hand through the armholes and dropped the dress into place. Or tried to. It got stuck on my boobs. “And did you say Roland is Luke’s best man? That is…the sweetest thing ever.”

Simon’s voice was thick with emotion when he replied, as it usually was whenever he mentioned anything Luke and love related. “It is. Totally Luke’s idea, too. I wanted him to be my best man, but Luke thought it would make him feel more…accepted, I guess, if it was the other way around. Worked, too. He was over the moon. They get along so well…it’s just…”

I swiveled my head around when I heard him sniffing. “Simon, don’t you dare cry because then I’ll cry and THE DRESS, dude, THE DRESS.” Carefully, every so carefully, I pulled and slid and tugged until the waist was where it belonged, reached behind me to zip it up, then tucked the girls into place before I looked in the mirror. Though a bit snug in the chest, it was essentially a perfect fit. I didn’t even think it would need hemming if I wore a two inch heel. A nice, chunky heel. Preferably boots with heels. I stared at my reflection, feeling like a princess from some sort of fractured fairytale for I don’t know how long, finally interrupted by the click of a phone camera. Looking up, I saw Simon behind me, taking shot after shot.

“SIMON.” I spun around to face him, any modesty, which had been purely for his benefit because I really DID have no shame, cast completely aside since he’d already seen my nipples, even if it was only technically a reflection of them. “The fuck are you doing?”

He grinned. “Just sending some pictures to your boyfriend. No biggie. You’ll thank me later.”

“You know Simon, I HAVE ENOUGH PROBLEMS ALREADY …” My phone dinged, and I bent over to rummage through my shorts pockets to find it. Text from Tom. Of course.

WOMAN, YOU NEED TO COME HOME RIGHT NOW. – T

Another arrived right after, before I had time to reply.

Okay. I counted backwards from ten and some of the blood that was elsewhere returned to my brain. You look so, SO beautiful. My lord. Just…a vision of loveliness. All that, plus intelligence, humor, everything…my Maude. I am a lucky, lucky man.  – T

Thomas, you’re making me blush. And Simon is SO going to bust my balls for it. :P –M

Fucking hell I just zoomed and…nipples…we’re now back to WOMAN, YOU NEED TO COME HOME RIGHT NOW. – T

They will be covered on the night of the wedding, I assure you. :P – M

Well that’s disappointing. :P So, when ARE you coming home? LOL –T

Still have to get dress for tomorrow. Probably two hours, maybe? I need to get this one off because for SOME reason I’m, like, all hot and starting to SWEAT. –M

If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go recite the Serenity Prayer a thousand times now. – T

Actually, though, I thought I’d go to the market and get what we need for the weekend. Mum and Emma can’t make dinner tomorrow, so they’ll just meet us here and then we’ll all head to the gallery, then come back after to talk and such. Anything in particular you want or need while I’m out? – T

Ice cream. Chips and dip. Onion dip, preferably. And is there somewhere you can stop and pick me up an ankle support? I think it’s time to start leaving the boot off as much as I can tolerate…putting weight on the ankle helps it heal faster. Or so they say. Thanks. – M

Will do. Love you. – T

Love you too. I’ll try to stop Simon from sending more pics so you don’t get a stiffy in public. :P –M

Don’t need pics for that, love. All I have to do is think of you and…whoomp, there it is. :P –T

Now that fucking song is going to be stuck in my head. Thanks for that. –M

J You’re welcome. See you soon. –T

Simon was tapping his foot, patience wearing thin. “Christ. Remind me not to do THAT again. So. Get that off. We need to get to Anna and Browns before they close.”

I stripped and put my clothes back on while Simon requested a garment bag from Diandra, and she insisted on zipping it up herself once the dress was in place to ensure nothing snagged. When we reached the car, he carefully laid the bag across the backseat before coming around to open my door. I commented on his backwards priorities, and he told me to shut my pretty mouth and with that, it was off to Anna, which Simon said was in the opposite direction but closed earlier so that was where we need to go first.

Located nearly right across from Regent’s Park, Anna was a two story boutique featuring unique designer clothing…their words, not mine. Simon refused help from a stylist, opting instead to let me browse around like a cow grazing in an open field. Most of the stock was entirely not my taste, but I did manage to find a funky grey tie-dyed pattern long-sleeve T-shirt style dress, and Simon brought me a white sweater dress with black horizontal stripes. There was no way I was ever wearing it in public, but I agreed to try it on. Both wound up being meh at best, so we wrote them off, cut our losses and drove to Browns.

The Browns Flagship store was vast, taking up five repurposed interconnecting townhouses, offering all styles and types of designer fashions as well as accessories. Simon had to drag me away from the first shoe display we came across and into the racks…and there were so many racks. SO. MANY. After narrowing it down to three dresses, we traversed to the fitting room, where Simon waited outside for me after the counter girl cleared her throat when he attempted to follow me inside.

First I tried on a Givenchey short sleeve wrap-style dress, black satin, and as soon as I saw how the bunched material made my boobs look lopsided as all get out, off it came. Next was a Christopher Kane sleeveless bandage dress, totally funky, the dress medium grey, horizontal piping of the same color, with a black and white zipper running up the entire length of its front. The hem reached to four or five inches above my knee, and it was…tight. But in a good way, though I questioned if it made my ass look huge. Simon’s reaction shot down that theory when I walked out of the fitting room.

“That’s the one. That’s it. Turn. Your tushie looks fantastic. Woo! Now you just need shoes…”

“Hold on, cowboy. There’s one more to try on and it’s my favorite.”

He sighed. “But this one is perfect.”

I flipped him off and went back into my cubicle, hung the bandage dress back on its hanger, then tried on the Balenciaga black leather and silk dress that had screamed BUY ME from the second I saw it. The structured bodice was spaghetti-strap halter style, leather, with a sweetheart neckline and a silver zipper that ran from the top to the waist of the dress. The skirt was silk, airy, and lightly pleated, creating a gentle wave effect at the hemline. It was a bitch to get into, and I yet again had to remove my bra, but once I zipped it and adjusted the décolletage was unbelievably impressive. The skirt brushed the very top of my shins, just below my knee, and it felt like…ME. Though after San Diego I thought I’d never consider wearing them again, I knew it would look amazing with my Diva Darcies. I marched out to meet Simon, though it was really only half marching/half something awkward and strange because of the boot, and he gasped.

“Holy fuckamoley, you look like…like…I don’t know. Goth biker chick? Bad ass motherfucker? Dominatrix? All of that? I still think the bandage dress is better for tomorrow, but you NEED to buy this one too. It screams ‘dance all night long with Simon at Studio 338’. When you CAN dance again, we are SO going.” He frowned. “When’s that heinous ankle contraption coming off, anyway? It’s not adding anything to either dress, if you know what I mean.”

I rolled my eyes. “I am AWARE. And I have it covered, I think. It’s much better than it was, surprisingly so since it’s only been a week. Way I figure, if I can find a nice sturdy pair of boots to wear and combine it with the ankle support Tom’s picking up for me, maybe, just MAYBE I can get away without it tomorrow night. But…buy both? This one’s seventeen hundred bucks, the other is eleven hundred. How do I justify spending that on…two dresses? That’s insane.”

He tilted his head and pointed at me. “Um, honey, your man is famous. Wait until it’s red carpet time.”

Raising a brow, I shifted my hips back and forth, regaling in the feel of the silk against my legs. “Simon. Bullshit. Have you forgotten what I’ve done for a living? I’m not a total newb. Those are usually LOANERS.”

“Fine. I was just trying to make you feel justified. SO unappreciative, Maude.”

I snorted, then returned to the fitting room to change back into my street clothes. Simon was my dress donkey for this mission, snarking on the occasional pair of shoes as I perused the available selection.

“Yuck. Open toe, yet not open toe.” He held up a pair of peek-a-boo sandals. “MAKE A CHOICE, PEOPLE.”

All the boots were ordinary, leather, fold over cuffs, zippers…nothing caught my eye. Around the corner was another display, and I finally saw a pair that got me all ‘grabby hands shut up and take my money’. They were black, moderately shiny, semi-slouchy with eleven black metal round rivet-like buttons up the outer sides, zippers on the inside for easy on and off. The brand was Miz Mooz, the style Bloom. The clerk located my size within the space of five minutes, and when I tried the left one on I was pleased to see that they came all the way up to my knees. Simon nodded his approval, I took of the ped I’d been given, put my sandal back on and three thousand dollars later we were out the door and headed home. Simon insisted on stopping for coffee at Kaffeine, and though it was against my better judgement I ordered an espresso to put an end to his incessant whining about how I was so much less fun that he’d thought. When he chided me for putting sugar in it, I responded by adding more. It hit me just as we pulled into his spot in the parking garage, and by the time we got to our floor he was quite contented to pass off all the bags to Tom and run for his own flat as he yelled ‘good luck with her, honey’.

Tom placed the dresses on the back of the couch and the boot box on the floor as I followed him like a puppy, trying to skip but failing miserably. He turned to me, arms crossed.

“What did he mean by that?”

I speed shrugged. “Well, could be he’s fed up with shopping because I don’t really like what he likes, though the maid of honor dress, that’s, wow, but, like he picked out this stripey thing and I felt like Sailor Moon when I put it on but wait, she wears a pinafore or something so maybe it’s Twiggy, the model, yeah, it was really late sixties and though wow I’m SO not Twiggy at all but you know what I mean OR it could have something to do with…the espresso. Probably the espresso. Espresso.”

He smirked as he uncrossed his arms and closed the distance between us. “What on earth possessed him to let you drink espresso?”

Speed shrugging again, I reached out and began fiddling with the waistband of his jeans, untucking his white T-shirt from them. “I don’t KNOW. I told him already like three times that coffee and I are like NO, NOT COMPATIBLE, yet he was all ESPRESSO, you have to have some because if you don’t, so BORING and then he made fun of me for putting sugar in it but fucking A it was bitter and WHY do people drink it like that it’s NASTY…” I’d unbuttoned his jeans and had begun to unzip them when his hands covered mine. I looked up at him. “Wow, how did THAT happen? Seriously, I have no idea it’s just you’re there and that white T-shirt and do you want to fuck me because I really need you to fuck me, like, right now because all day long I’ve been thinking about you touching yourself and…”

His lips met mine, and I responded aggressively, biting down on his lip, then searching for his tongue and sucking on it vigorously, pulling away to stare at him. “Thomas. I love your mouth. The way you taste. Your lips, your tongue, what they do to me…” I dove back in, and his own response was first a gasp, then a moan, followed by his lip sucking trick that made me come instantly every single time, this one no exception.

“Wow, oh my god, Tom, I so wasn’t ready for that yet but I guess I WAS ready, ha, right? Will you do it again? Do it again.”

Three of my orgasms later, he was shaking with his own pent up desire, looking over his shoulder at the couch, then over mine into the kitchen. He turned me around, propelling me past the dining table with his hands on my shoulders while growling in my ear.

“I’m going to fuck you on the counter. Is that all right? Fucking you on the counter?”

I tilted my head to the left. “Fucking me on the counter. Yes. Yes please. I would like you to fuck me on the counter. SO totally all right. Totally.”

As soon as we rounded the corner he yanked my shorts and underwear down, and I kicked them to the side as he lifted me up and plopped me on the cold stone, my back to the living room, one hand on my jaw to keep me focused on his face, my eyes locked on his.

“Now. I have to run upstairs for just one very brief moment. You’ll stay right here and wait for me, won’t you?”

Nodding six times, I began swinging my legs back and forth as he bolted from the kitchen. “I’m still right here, Tom. But my poor, poor pussy…she’s very lonely, soaking wet, all excited but there’s no one to play with her…”

There was a loud crash from upstairs, followed by a litany of fucks and shits, then his rapid footfalls as he raced down the stairs, appearing in front of me with the ankle brace I’d requested and a chair from the dining room. He sat in the chair and began unbuckling the walking boot, slipping it off carefully as he met my gaze.

“Sorry, love. Your pussy is a meal that demands to be savored, and I can’t very well have that boot digging into my shoulders while I enjoy my feast, can I?”

“Well I was under the impression that you’d be fucking me, like really, really HARD and right NOW but…” I reached down and grabbed his head with both hands, pushing it towards my crotch. He pulled away, smirking.

“Ah ah ah, we’ve got to put the brace on first.” He pulled it over my foot, and as my ankle rolled sideways I felt a stab of fire within the joint that made me suck in a quick breath. “Sorry, love. Almost there.”

Both my hands gripped the edge of the countertop. “It’s fine. Totally fine. Do it. Just do it. Worth the pain. Worth it. Make it worth it.”

He tugged it into place, pulled the chair in closer, situated himself precisely, then placed my feet on his shoulders. His head was as the perfect height, face still visible to me yet strategically placed for…going down. As his hands pulled my ass closer to the edge and spread me open, his long, pink tongue unfurling, I realized that from my own angle, I’d be able to see…everything. He began at my taint, running his tongue up the middle, it dipping into my entrance just enough to make me push down on his shoulders with my feet and thrust my hips forward, then abandoning that particular ship in order to circle my clit, which he took between his teeth, then sucked into his mouth, staring at me the entire time.

“Tom. Tom. TOM. Mygodmygodmygod. Suck harder. Come on. Harder.” He ignored me at first, but I kept repeating it louder and louder until he complied, and I could tell by his eyes that he was extremely entertained by my insistence. I was not entertained when he stopped abruptly, though before I could protest I watched him stiffen his tongue and ease it inside me and suddenly, I forgot about everything else as my brain tried to process the visual of it moving in and out of me in conjunction with the way it made me FEEL. The moment his thumb touched my clit I began humping his face, him rubbing and thrusting furiously at the same time, and as the index finger of his other hand slid inside my ass I came, loudly chanting for him to fuck my ass harder and get that tongue DEEPER. It seemed I closed my eyes only for a second when I felt my legs moving upward, feet dangling over something until the backs of my knees hit solidity, hands on my shoulder blades and arms against my ribcage.

I opened them to find his eyes inches from mine, wild, pupils blown wide, my juices coating his countenance and dripping down his chin, his lips glossy with it. He grinned, the salaciousness of it making me shiver, and settled the head of his cock at my entrance.

“Now, Maude. NOW I’m going to fuck you. Really, really hard.”

His hips thrust forward as he sheathed himself fully, then began bucking frenziedly. I hung like a rag doll in his grasp, still limp from orgasm, allowing his pounding to move me until he froze, asking me to hold myself up for a moment as he first removed his shirt, then my own, as well as my bra. My legs still over his shoulders, he leaned forward, bending me almost completely in half in order to press his chest to mine, arms behind me and holding me up once again. His thrusting resumed and grew ever desperate, his eyes never leaving mine. I could feel myself nearing the top of another peak, the tension in my belly becoming too powerful to ignore, and I clamped down on him.

His eyes closed for a second, then opened as he fought to keep himself from coming. “Is your pussy still lonely, Maude?”

I shook my head, my hands reaching up to touch his face, his cheekbones under my fingertips, then his jaw, and his still moist lips. “No. Nope. Not. Happy. Full. She’s very, very full…but there’s still a little bit of room in there if you have, you know, a little something ELSE for her.” I released, then squeezed again, and again. His balls slapped against me noisily as he resumed his onslaught, grunting and groaning and gasping.

“Oh, I have some…some…something…for…ohgodohgod…fuck me, I’m coming, I’m COMING and COMING…”

I came as well as his warmth coated my shuddering walls, and he was so lost in pleasure that he let go of me, and I found myself looking at an upside-down dining table as my head and neck sprawled backward over the countertop. I could hear his usual post-orgasm noises, tiny gasps and chirps and moans, and as the blood rushed to my head I thought perhaps I should mention my precarious position but he took notice before I was able to form the words.

“Oh, fuck, Maude, my god, I’m SO sorry are you all right?” He put one arm around my upper shoulders, bracing me as he pulled out and eased my legs off his shoulders, then peered behind me to see if I’d hurt myself on the edge of the counter. “Christ, what a tit I am…are you okay?” He felt around with his fingers, and when I didn’t flinch he pulled me up so I was sitting, dribbling cum all over the orange surface beneath me.

“I. Am. Fine. Fine. And I think…I think the espresso might be wearing off. I’m actually a little…tired.” I snickered. “Could just be the blood draining back into my body, though.”

His head hung down, shaking back and forth, then lifted to pepper my face with kisses. “I’m so, so sorry about that. I just…I came so hard I couldn’t…I couldn’t see, really.” It was his turn to snicker. “Thanks for that. Maude Gallagher, supplier of orgasms so powerful that she jeopardizes her own personal safety in the process.”

I kissed him, tasting myself on his lips. “I blame the espresso. And Simon.” He laughed, and I paused, reviewing my vocalizations. “I was loud, wasn’t I?” He nodded. “I hope they heard me. That’ll teach him a lesson he won’t soon forget.”

Tom chuckled. “Love, I’m afraid the neighbors two houses down may have heard you. And anyone walking by on the street. And people in their cars with the windows up…”

“Yeah. Well. They should probably, you know, get used to it.”

He initiated the kiss this time, his tongue thrusting in to massage mine. “They’d better. Because I love making you scream. Maybe more than Shakespeare, even.”

“Thomas. Be serious.”

He grinned. “I AM being serious. And I’ve decided that I do, in fact, love it more than Shakespeare. Without a doubt.”

I sat, motionless and wordless, for a few moments. “How am I supposed to respond to that kind of compliment?”

He licked me, tongue starting at my clavicle, moving up my neck, across my jaw and up to my temple. “Let me make you scream again?”

My head tilted as I looked up at the ceiling, pretending to ponder. “You know what? That totally works for me.”

[dianapana]

Car trouble

Hey guys LOOOOONG time no see but i do have good excused:

1. I just graduated high school this friday (YAY ME) so i was stressed out with the end of the year, with prom and all that.

2. At the end of june i’ll have my BAC exams which is kinda like the SAT i think

3. a few sad things happened here, one of my classmates passed in a tragic accident and we had a lot of things to tend to about this topic too...

4. I have no found any inspiration what so ever. But i felt so bad i haven’t written in so long so i just searched ‘prompts’ on goole and there was one ‘hitchhiker’ so idk i just wrote this. i did not re-read it so there are probably many mistakes but it’s longer than i intended it to be and it’s 1 and half a.m. and we still go to school for BAC preparations so yeaaa i’m not really free yet.

Either waaaaay, i hope you enjoy. Love Dia ~~

To say the least she was having a shitty day. Her father would freak, her cousin would shake his head in disappointment and her sister would roll her eyes at her because she did it again, she pulled a ‘Hinata’. Yep they started using her name as a subject that meant a mistake, somehow she was the one that always messed things up.

Last night when Hinata talked with Neji and he specifically asked her if she had the car checked she said she did, despite that being a lie. She meant to take it to the mechanic but didn’t have time or when she did she forgot all about the 4 wheels piece of trash that failed her. The car started letting black fumes about an hour or so ago, but she kept pushing it either way, praying that it would get her the rest of the way to Suna, where she’d stop for the night before continuing towards Konoha. She was 3 hours away from Suna and about 8 from Konoha. There was no way her car would hold up.

The Hyuuga family was having a Family gathering for the summer. Everyone was going to be there, including her grandfather who was happily retired and moved to Hokkaido a couple of years ago. They were all supposed to arrive that following day so Monday morning the family activities to start, bright and early. She made plans to go to the beach as soon as she arrived with Neji and Hanabi.

Hinata contemplated calling Neji but her stubbornness stopped her from doing so. She’d find a way to fix this on her own. She remembered her mother telling her what to do in this situation, Hikari left ‘to find herself’ when she was 12. Her mother always send her postcards from exotic places she visits, she knows a lot about the world as a traveler so her advice must be of some use. Hinata poped up the hood and looked at the engine in deep thought, as her mother told her to, because someone was bound to stop and help her…right? It was summer so the sun was still up and would be for another couple of hours, maybe more, nothing bad was going to happen to her.

About 20 minutes and a number of cars passed before an older blue truck stopped behind her car. A man in his late 30s mid 40s got out and with a sickening grin on his face started walking towards her. Hinata rethought the ‘I’m save’ argument she made before and wasn’t so sure anymore. As the older male made his way towards her she got the chills from the way he looked at her.

“Aye little lady, car trouble?”

“N-no…my friend is on his way to pick me up. No trouble at all”

She’d much rather stay on side of the road for the night than accept help from that creeper. Her mention of a friend didn’t stop him from moving closer, much too close for her liking.

“A pretty girl like you shouldn’t stay here all alone. I’ll wait with you for your friend, how about that?”

He smiled down at her with anything but pure intentions, Hinata took a step back and before she had the chance to decline another car stopped. This one was a black sport car of some sorts. It looked pretty expensive.

Hinata almost cried when she saw who was driving, Sasuke. The two of them weren’t friends per say but they knew each other. The Uchiha male got out and glared at the old pervert.

“Hinata, sorry I’m late. Get in”

She only smiled at him and ran around her car to get to his so she wouldn’t have to pass by the man. She didn’t even stop to get the things from her car, she didn’t stop by Sasuke to thank him or anything she just opened the passenger door and got in. Sasuke opened the driver door and leaned in.

“Give me your keys. I’ll close the hood.”

“S-sasuke, I also have a few bags in my truck…c-could you please get them as well”

“Hn” The raven haired boy closed his door and locked the car just in case before going towards hers. He passed by the pervert and closed the hood loud enough to startle the man giving him a nasty look. The man cursed under his breath and went back to his blue truck, but not before looking back at Hinata. After the danger was over Hinata thought Sasuke would leave her there and she panicked for a few moments but soon enough Sasuke returned with all her bags and put them on his back seat.

“Here’s your key”

“Thank you…for helping me out”

He only nodded before starting the car again and leaving. Sasuke had no music playing but as soon as they got on the highway he pressed a few buttons and the top of the car disappeared. Hinata had never been in a convertible before but she was loving the wind in her hair especially in such a torrid day.

“You shouldn’t be out alone, dressed like that on some unknown roads. A lot of creepers swarm around. It’s not safe”

Only when he pointed out did she realize she had on her beach attire, short white shorts and a lavender see-though shirt over her black bikini, she had her hair in two buns like TenTen used to do them because she couldn’t stand the hot and humid air. Her cheeks reddened releasing what Sasuke must think about her.

“Y-you’re right. It’s just really hot and I planned to go to the beach as soon as I reached Suna.”

“At this hour?” He finally looked at her, but only for a split second.

“Yes…I have a few friends there and I wanted to see the Suna beach. I hadn’t had a chance to go for the past few years and it was on the way. I remember it being a lot nicer than the one in Konoha, the sand is white and so smooth, not pebbles or broken seashells around to step on. And the water is so clear and not very deep so it’s much safer, also I haven’t seen this friend in a long time and he--”

Hinata stopped abruptly, she was rambling, Sasuke always did make her nervous, he had this aloof vibe like he was bored and she hated feeling like a bore. She bit her lip and looked out the window trying to calm down her nerves.

“What about the friend? What did he do?”

He asked her with amusement. Hinata turned towards him with a puzzled expression.

“You stopped. You were about to say something about your friend from Suna”

“Oh…H-he was supposed to go to Knonoha too for the gathering I’m going to but he was too busy so I thought maybe going to the beach this late won’t be during his work hours and he’ll relax a bit”

“I see.” The Uchiha nodded and silence fell once again. Hinata was very grateful for the ride he was giving her but felt a little uncomfortable with the quiet. “You were supposed to drive to Konoha.”

His observation took her by surprise but she nodded slowly.

“Yea, that won’t happen. I’m also going to Konoha so I can drive you, but I don’t indent on stopping by Suna, I want to be in Konoha by Sunday. If you’re fine with this I don’t mind”

She thought about it for a moment. There were little to none chance to find someone she knew who went to Konoha tomorrow, despite the silence she’d much rather be in a car with Sasuke.

“Ok, I’d like a ride, if you’re really fine with it” he nodded and Hinata hurried to say “Of course I’ll pay for half of the gas” Sasuke opened his mouth to deny her offer but decided against it, he knew how Hyuugas were, they hated being in debt to someone.

XXX

They reached Suna 2 hours later, Hinata called Gaara to tell him she wasn’t going to stop by anymore and she also told him about her car and send a pic of the place. Garra promised to send Kankuro to retrieve her car and take it to the mechanic so by the time she came she’d be able to drive it home.

About half an hour later they stopped for gas and as she promised Hinata payed for half the gas and also brought snacks and a few drinks. She was in front of a CD rack when Sasuke returned from the bathroom.

“What kind of music do you like?” She asked him still eyeing the CDs. There were a few decent ones, Adele, AC/DC, The Beatles. Sasuke looked for a few moments too and picked up one.

“You like Queen.” Hinata smiled up at him. They were also one of her favorite bands.

“Hn” he purchased the CD in spite of her insistence to pay for it. “I’ll be the one to keep it so it’s only fair I pay” He told her and the discussion ended. Strangely the Cd wasn’t as needed anymore since a light conversation started between the two of them.

“I bought some onigiri with tomatoes and a few hot chilly chips for you. Is that ok? And lime iced tea”

Sasuke rose a brow and did a double take, she had indeed brought those, for him.

“Yea, those are actually my favourites…”

“O-oh, umm…y-yea I know. I remember seeing you eat them during high school”

“Oh, I see.”

He was a bit perplex that she remembered what kind of snacks he liked in high school when he could barely remember if she still had short hair then or she had grown then. He knew she made the change when he was still present but couldn’t for the life of him remember if it was during high school or university.

“I-I didn’t mean to intrude, I’m sorry. I just used to go with Sakura-chan and Ino-chan when we bought snacks for all of us when the basketball season was in full swing and you had lunch in the gym”

Now that he thought of it she was right. The girls bought them lunch on multiple occasions when Kakashi and Gai were rough on them. The guys also brought girls hot chocolate/coffee/tea during winter so they didn’t have to get out in the cold wearing skirts. If the school thought putting on tights would make the freezing cold go away they were wrong.

“I remember. Also we bought you drinks. You liked cinnamon coffee or hot chocolate. Sometimes tea when it rained rather than snowed”

She laughed. It was strange how many details they knew about each other despite not really knowing each other. They grew up in the proximity of the other and without even meaning to learnt a lot.

Hinata knew Sasuke hated sweets, he had a kick for spicy food and tomatoes. He had a really high tolerance of alcohol, everything he owned was either black, dark blue or dark red. He had had the same hair style his whole life, he loved math and gym but couldn’t stand Japanese lit, either way he had the second highest grade after Shikamaru. He always seemed to be in a shitty mood when it rained and he hated the cold, he’d much rather be hot all the time. For some reasons he never ate/drank anything with almonds/almond milk. He loved to drive, out of everyone of them he got first his driving license and you’d see him just drive around on multiple occasions. He had a tongue piercing when he was 17 that all the girls thought was ‘so fucking hot’ and he has the dates of his parents and Itachi’s birth and death tattooed on his left shoulder. He used to have a snake pet when he was small but he lost it and one of his aunts killed it.

Sasuke knew Hinata loved reading fantasy books, she always had a few in her bag pack, her favorite color was lavender and she also loved the plant, her room smelled of it. She put cinnamon on anything she could and after a terrible day or week she’d eat half a dozen of cinnamon buns and wash them with berry tea. She fell in love with make-up at the end of 10th grade didn’t feel confident enough to wear it at school until university, when is also when she changed her hairstyle. He remembered that now as well. She never got her driving license in university, but apparently she got it after. During middle school she had to wear glasses but after 2 years her father payed for eye surgery so she needn’t use them, either way she still wore them now and then on days she felt bad about herself. Ino was her best friend during school and from what he knew still was. She was an excellent cook and loved to bake, on valentine day she brought everyone chocolates, even him and his were always dark so he’d eat them and most of the time he did.

They talked about the things they knew and things they didn’t, they were both reserved people but the conversation was comfortable enough for the two of them. They stopped twice more for bathroom breaks and another time so Sasuke could stretch and rest a few minutes.

“I never really thought of you as a close friend, but I’m surprised by how well we know each other” Hinata admitted. She also got out of the car to walk around a bit, her legs were starting to cramp.

“I know what you mean…” Hinata looked at the Uchiha male, she never meant to pay this close attention to him, but she did anyway. They didn’t keep in touch after University, but their conversation felt like one with n old good friend. They never did talk like that before.

“We’re getting close to Konoha” Sasuke said. They were indeed, only about an hour or so until their road trip together would end.

“When are you going back home?” Hinata asked despite knowing she could ride back to Suna with Neji since he was going back to Gaara.

“Next Monday morning I’m leaving. What about you?”

“Oh…I’ll stay for two weeks…”

Without meaning to they both felt disappointed that they wouldn’t return together.

“I see. Well it was a stretch that we’d go back on the same day…”

The two got back in the car and resumed the road, the rest of the road was quiet, but not the uncomfortable kind, rather the deep-in-thought kind.

“Well we can always meet up during the week we’re both in Konoha” Sasuke suggested and the Hyuuga girl smiled at him.

“Of course, we can. Also i-if you’re fine with it we can talk on the phone even after we both go back home. Where do you live now?”

“Kiri. You?”

Hinata started laughing.

“I live in Kiri too.”

“Really now?” the two looked at each other and smiled. They reached Konoha but it didn’t feel like the end of the road, but rather the beginning.

[katieamazeballs]

MVP Recap

Ok, guys.....sorry this is late but I 100% waited until today to do this because #1 It’s faster to type it on the computer than on the phone and #2 I’m now getting paid to do this.  (Who’s the real winner here).  Also....I can post this with a fancy page break so it doesn’t hog everyone’s feed.  But before the break....have a pic......

(As per my now usual.....I will post about my experience more than the dances, because you can find those online or will be seeing them yourselves.)

To start off the day, I finally got to meet My Girl and it was AMAZING!  We met at her hotel then went to dinner.  As we predicted, the girls were instant besties and so were we.  (I love it when a plan comes together).  When we got to dinner the girls sat with My Girl and I sat with her hysterical mom, Nonna.  We had good food and good conversation and it was really nice to have a meal with “my people” and discuss DWTS the entire time.  The best part, however, was Nonna telling me no less than 7 times “I don’t like-ah that Maks.  He’s a jerk”.  (read that in a thick Italian accent).   

(Abbie killed it with this selfie)

After dinner, we found our way to the theater.  I was no help, of course, because I don’t do downtown even though I’ve lived here for 34 of my 38 years.  As we were looking for parking we saw the buses straight ahead, lining both sides of the street.  We saw Ivan outside smoking (wtf dude) and JT.  Once we parked, moved the car to a different spot, and took selfies, we made our way to the theater.  As we were walking up we saw a guy with big girly hair standing by Val’s bus talking on the phone. We were all like “OMG....is that Val?!?!”.  The girls and I started booking it and got closer, that wasn’t Val but OMG HOLY CRAP he was right there in front of us!!  We attempted to approach him and the worlds grumpiest security guard stopped us in our tracks. 

(Seriously.....look at her looking at me like I’m gonna rush him or something!  Trust me when I say she plays a theme throughout the night and imagine that face any time I mention “Bitchy Security Guard” or “BSG”.)

Well.....Val didn’t take too kindly to his fans being treated that way and told us to come take pics but that we had to do it quick because he needed to get inside to get ready.  I have to say....much like Brandon, pictures do not do this man justice.  He is really really really good looking in person.  I mean REALLY.  Gahdamn, Valentin. 

(Notice the guy in the red flannel who is NOT Maks and will not be Maks at any point in the evening no matter how many times we thought he was)

Y’all be proud of Abbie.....she was given strict instructions of things she was banned from saying (I hate Jenna because she STOLE you from me.....and You used to be my favorite but now you’ve been replaced because Jenna STOLE YOU).  Girl handled herself like the sane fangirl we all knew she could be and didn’t even cry. 

(Notice the death grip she has on him)

She showed him her purse and “may” have scared him a tad.  He went “Whoa!”

(She keeps shirtless Val in the center.....because Mama ain’t raising no fool)

After we met Val.....and I failed to remember that I was lugging his book around in my damn purse and forgot to get it signed (I win at life, I swear), we were told exactly where we were allowed to stand and if we so much as took a deep breath, BSG reminded us that we weren’t allowed to move from that spot.  Then she would sigh and roll her eyes at us.  We tried to see other cast but it was getting chilly and windy (scroll back up and look at the chick’s pony in the pic of BSG) and it was getting closer to show time so they were all inside.  Before we left we did get to see Katie the Nanny taking Shai from the venue to the bus.  He is freakin adorable!  His little curls and his little wave to his adoring fans were on point!  I do not have a picture of this because #1 It happened super quick and #2 It’s not my baby and that’s kindof weird and intrusive and BSG was still side eying us and I’m pretty sure she would have taken my phone and deleted all the pics or something in retaliation.  She was seriously bitchy and hated her job. 

We got inside the venue and hit the merch stand.  We all got our shirts (to my surprise, Abs picked the white tour tee instead of the Team Val tee).  We found our way upstairs, got drinks, and found our seats.  They were pretty decent seats except for we had to sit forward to see the very front of the stage if they laid down (a few times) and couldn’t see them picking the people out of the audience.  The show was, of course, amazing.  In my opinion, it was better than the DWTS show.  Those Chmerkovskiy’s can dance!!!!  I’ve heard that Peta is amazing live, but that doesn’t do her justice.  She truly is the queen and literally commands the stage when she’s on it.  There were moments of great group numbers, moments of hilarity (the dad dance and the stripper section), and gut wrenching serious moments.  It really does tell a story through dance and we all loved it.  What you probably don’t see in the YouTube videos of the dad dance is Kiki has twins.  Abs is still laughing about those twins and when the baby sneezes and Maks yells “It got in my eye!”.  During the Chippen Val/Magic Maks section they pull up the lady out of the audience.  Let me tell you.....that lady was living her best life.  She was so funny!  Throughout the show we were annoyed by the group behind us.  There were about 8 or 10 of them and they talked the entire show.  I’m not talking quiet respectful whispers.....these bitches were straight up chit chatting.  I did giggle at one point because the oldest of them was totally Team Nonna.  They were doing their first talking section and this chick pipes up with “I’ve always hated Maks.....he’s such an arrogant jackass”.  During the super emotional break up section....it was so quiet in there you could hear a pin drop.  I had been annoyed the entire show, but at this point I started to get a little concerned that because it was so quiet in there (that section is riveting) that Maks and Peta would actually hear these bitches trying each others wine in an attempt to figure out which one had the tastiest.  Seriously y’all.....they were SO LOUD!  At this point, I turned around and said “PLEASE stop talking!”.  They shushed to heated whispers through the rest of the show but if one of us so much as looked at each other they’d say “NO TALKING!”.  At the end of the show they got up and left during the final bows (seriously the rudest group of drunk bitches ever).  I booked it out after the show to pee.  Abs didn’t have to so she went to stand outside of the bathroom to wait for the rest of our group.  I hear “That’s HER!” and look over and these bitches were WAITING for me to come out of the theater!  They start yelling “We are at a concert!!!  Talking is expected in this type of situation!  And you were rude too!!!”  (of note....no one ever said they were rude)  Abs is looking at me with huge eyes and I was like “Wait...how was I rude!  You know what...never mind....Abbie get over here!”.  I drug her into the bathroom still completely appalled at their behavior.  Be proud that I was an adult and didn’t engage.  Once all of our group was done, and these bitches are still standing there waiting, we just kind of grabbed the girls put our heads down and booked it out of there. 

We got outside and went to stand by the buses again.  BSG was still manning her post and was quite possibly in an even worse mood than before.  She seriously hates fans.  She should probably look into different employment.  Thankfully we had a different security guard posted to our standing area.  He was funny and nice and roughly the size of a mountain range.  He didn’t seem to be that huge of a guy but he had a chest and shoulders that somehow blocked the entire sidewalk.  He also must know us (is our picture up in these venues or something) because dude kept a super close eye on Abs.  She must have looked shifty to him.  He’s a smart man and I wish I would have taken a pic with him.  We stood there and stood there and stood there some more.  We had met Val, but wanted to talk to him again (because my damn book) and Makayla really wanted to meet Peta.  My goal was to meet Val (for Abs of course....ha) and meet either Maks or Peta to personally give them Shai’s hat.  Peta came out loaded down with bags and went to the bus.  She came back out and headed our way to go into a different door (probably to get food, they all went in there) and said she’d come back.  While we were waiting, we saw quite a few of the dancers coming out.  Ivan was standing there talking to a crew member and since no one else would pipe up I yelled his name.  He waved and I asked for a picture.  He was super nice and came over (Mt. Everest was amused by this).

After meeting him, both girls (and the rest of the small crown of about 15-20) were oohing and aahing over how good he smelled and I realized that my damn sinuses are still acting up and I didn’t smell anything.  I thought back to meeting Val (when both girls had the same reaction) and I thought my lack of smelling him was just because we caught him before the show and he wasn’t freshly showered.....apparently my inconspicuous deep breaths when I was standing with him were just fail. I’m super salty about this.  Seriously.....I may not ever be ok with the fact that I didn’t smell Val.  Shortly after we met Ivan, we saw Emily standing there.  She also came over when I got her attention and asked for a picture.  Mt. Everest was again amused by me while the others were plotting how they could always manage to be by me at bus meets because I not only recognized everyone by name, but was brave enough to call them over. 

I think it was at this point that My Girl’s girl was attempting to convince her mom that they should come to Jax to do all tours with me and Abs.......I don’t think she was successful.  Lol.   At some point in this process, we saw JT a few more times.  I really wanted to get a pic with him.  I yelled his name and he threw a half hearted wave, then looked over and said “Oh Hey” and waved harder.  He did not come over for a picture.  He must actually have recognized me....he was like “Yep...that’s a nope all day long, that bitch is cray”.  He has since been relieved of his best friend duties....but it’s ok because Nicole and Alyssa (Serge’s gf) have agreed that they are better choices anyways. 

Finally.....the queen emerged and came right over to our group.  She is strikingly beautiful in person and so so so tiny.  She could probably share clothes with Abs!  I gave her a hug and told her I had made a gift for Shai for his morning inspections.  She laughed and then peeked in the bag.  She awe’d and thought it was adorable!  (Totally winning at life here). 

She chit chatted with our group for a bit and talked about how they had had to adjust and reblock that day because the stage was a tight squeeze (which explains all the rehearsal stories) and lamented the weird lights outside that went from normal to pink to red (which is why the pics are kindof weird).  Abs asked where Maks was and she laughed and said she had no idea and that she hadn’t seen him since bows.  As she left she thanked me again for the hat and said she’d post it on insta.  I’m really hoping he’ll wear it (toddlers are iffy on hats....and all things really) but I’m pretty sure she’ll post it some how if he won’t wear it. 

(Of note....I could smell her.....she smells like a girl.....flowery lotion.  It makes me more salty)

We waited a bit longer and still no sign of Maks or Val.  It was getting late and even more chilly and windy and we decided to call it quits at 11.  The time came and after me having to snap at Abs (she is a determined fangirl), we made our exit with the agreement that one of the remaining group would watch us until we got to the corner and they’d yell Maks’ name real loud so we could come running back.  Mt. Everest thought this was hysterical and kept waving to us while we walked off looking back every 5 seconds.  We made our way back to the hotel, I was again no help because while I can confidently get myself home from downtown....the hotel was on the other side of the river and I had no idea how to get there.  The girls were passed out approx 37 seconds into the drive home.  When we got there Nonna popped out of the van and looked down and saw her shirt button was undone.  She goes “Oh look at me, all naked!”  I died.  She is the best and I might steal her.  We sadly said our goodbyes and Abs and I headed home.  After I got home (about 11:45) I went to check and saw @loveisstatic was the lone hold out and got to meet Maks.  I bet she really got the wrath of BSG for waiting so long.  (Girl...you gotta vouch for me on BSG....she was serious!)  All in all, we had the absolute best time and I can’t wait to do it again.....next year.....after my wallet stops crying.

[rhina988]

The Heart Wants What It Wants - Chapter 21

Start from the beginning

Chapter 20

Nicole’s POV

Buzz, buzz

Half awake I started patting my hands over the nightstand searching for my cell-phone that was ringing off the hook.

“What?!” with half-sleepy voice I barely succeeded to say a word, furious at whoever was waking me up.

“Um... sorry for waking you up... at 11 a.m. but I just wanted to see if we’re on for today,” Maya said almost chuckling, and I immediately jumped off the bed.

“11 o’clock... What the...” I was shocked at how I was able to sleep in, “umm... yes. One o’clock at our restaurant?”

“OK, see you then,” Maya said officially, probably realizing she shouldn’t have reacted the way she did. We were not friends anymore, and she acted as if she was allowed to tease me even just a little.

Dropping the phone on my bed, I pressed my temples, trying to figure out how I fell asleep so hard. Looking through the room, I saw a bottle of pills lying on my nightstand. I must’ve taken a few pills more than I was prescribed, and now here we are. I was dealing with some serious case of insomnia lately, and I thought sleeping pills will help me fall asleep, but not knock me out for more than 12 hours.

Luckily, it was Saturday, and I wasn’t going to work, otherwise I’d have some serious explaining to do. It’s enough that probably the entire company knows about me and Lucas, and the last thing I needed was to add another scandal to my resume.

Picking myself up, I went to the bathroom and I wasn’t the least pleased with what I saw in the mirror. My dark circles were really on a roll, and my face was pale as if I haven’t seen the light of day in a year. After washing my face, I took a long shower and washed my hair to help me get back to life. This was one of the longest sleeps I’ve had in ages, and it didn’t feel as good as I thought it would. Nevertheless, I needed to look decent and act as if I was feeling amazing, because the conversation Maya and I were about to have is going to be anything but easy.

Jared’s POV

Knock, knock

“Come in!”

“Hey bro, you’re not sleeping yet?” Shannon walked into my room, looking all mysterious.

“No, I can’t fall asleep,” I said and exhaled, “I’ve been trying to take my mind off  that paparazzo shots that were taken today and that girl hugging me...so I took a few selfies for Snapchat... but it’s not working... nothing can keep me from tormenting myself with what Nicole might think when she sees the pics.”

“I saw your Snapchat, that’s why I came by. You didn’t look so well, and I knew something was bothering you. I figured you’d be concerned about that. Are the pictures online yet?”

I just nodded, pressing my lips together.

“That’s not good. Has Nicol texted you anything? Do you think she saw it?”

“I don’t know Shannon,” I said in frustration, jumping off the bed, “my mind is filled with all these random thoughts and I just hope Nicole will stay away from all the news until we’re back. I just know she will misinterpret everything.... and on top of everything I feel like shit because of this flu...” I started pacing across the room, running my fingers through my hair as my breathing picked up the pace and I started to cough a little. The nervousness was consuming me and all I could do is just sit here and wait until we’re back home in a few days.

“Well, at least we’ll be back the day after tomorrow and you can deal with everything then. You spoke over the phone, she said you’re her priority and from what I’ve heard there’s little that can really take her away from you.” Shannon was trying to console me, but I knew Nicole. Just a glance at that photo and she’ll be back to that you’re having a girl in every country of the world story.

“You should give her some credit, J. I know she was too harsh on you lately, and you can’t really blame her for not trusting you, I mean you are a rock start after all. But what I’m trying to say is that she felt how it would be to actually lose you, and I think that she’d do everything to always work on issues you might have, from now on. She won’t allow herself to jump to the conclusions anymore.”

I listened and just waved my head in disbelief.

“Shan, you’re my brother, and I love you, but you’re such a sucker for girls... you really don’t know them. She’s a woman, a beautiful, smart and confident woman. The last thing she’d do after seeing me smiling and hugging another girl is think, Hmm, look, what a cute fangirl. No, she’ll think it’s one of my go-to girls I fuck when I’m in the country.”

Nicole’s POV

It was almost 1 o’clock and I was in a cab, driving to the restaurant. My head suddenly started to pulse, causing an annoying discomfort. Just what I needed, more problems to make me nervous. I really wanted to go see Maya relaxed, but today was out to get me with its headaches, oversleeping and God knows what else.

Stepping out of the cab, I saw a few reporters starting to run towards me once I was outside. Fortunately, I was only a few steps away from the entrance, and before they were able to take any major shots, I was inside.

“Hey,” I said breathing rapidly after rushing inside and through the restaurant, looking for Maya.

“Hi, are you OK,” Maya asked in surprise seeing me all flustered.

“Yeah,... it’s just these crazy paparazzi... I have no idea why they came after me like that,” I said and sat down, taking a sip of water that was already on the table.

“I took the liberty to order us some pasta. I hope you don’t mind,” Maya said with a smile.

“It’s fine, I’m kinda hungry actually”

“OK, so what I wanted to say is that Lucas and I are...” the moment she mentioned the two of them together my face turned several colors, “... we never meant to hurt anyone.”

“Yeah, that’s what all the cheating ba...” refraining myself from calling them “bastards” and insulting them, I bit my tongue and continued,”...couples ...say.”

“I know it’s a cliché, but it’s true. I liked him for a long time, and I know I shouldn’t have. You know better than anyone that when the heart wants something, there’s not much you can do against it,” Maya was becoming more nervous by the second, and I could see she really was feeling remorseful.

“For how long?” I asked angrily.

“What?”

“How long have you two been ... together?”

“Does it really matter? I mean you two are finished and...”

“How. Long. Maya.” I asked through gritted teeth, squeezing a fork, and she just gulped at my reaction.

“Almost a year,” she blurred it out hoping she would be able to continue, “but only the last...”

“Stop!” I almost screamed, “I don’t care when the things became serious or however you want to call it. I just wanted to know for how long he pretended to love me and planned a wedding with me while he was screwing you.”

At that moment, the waiter came with our orders, which couldn’t be the better timing for us to catch a breath. After he was gone, we just sat there for a minute not speaking and letting our thoughts and feelings settle down.

“It’s all water under the bridge now. I am with Jared, Lucas is with .... you,” I said rolling my eyes, “and that’s it.”

“And what about you and me?” Maya asked with tears in her eyes.

“There’s no you and me, Maya, we’re done.”

“No, Nicole, don’t say that, please.”

“I will be here for you if you ever need any kind of help, but we’re not friends. We can’t be friends after this. You betrayed me, and you don’t deserve my friendship. I’ll forgive you, but I can’t and won’t forget. You’ll just have to accept that.”

“You can really throw away more than a decade of friendship, just like that?” she asked with trembling voice.

“If you could, why couldn’t I?”

“Nicole... I never...”

“The road to hell is paved with good intentions, and you saying you never meant to hurt me is kinda ridiculous. What if Jared and I hadn’t met, and if Lucas and I have got married? Huh? Would you have still continue to screw him, and become his mistress?” I asked matter-of-factly.

“I don’t know... I guess I secretly hoped you wouldn’t marry him,” she was honest for the first time in forever.

“That’s why you encouraged Jared’s and mine relationship, and gave him my number, didn’t you?”

“Yes. I never saw you as happy as you were in Mexico, and something was telling me that you and Lucas just weren’t made for each other. I love him, Nicole, I really do. I didn’t think that would happen, because truth be told, everything started out as just sex, fun and reckless excitement. But I love him now.”

I was shocked to hear that. In her entire life, Maya only loved one guy, and everyone else was just a fling. This confession really got to me.

“Wow, I had no idea... I’m sort of glad you are in a good place now, but I still don’t think we can be friends again. Just try to understand me, and look at things from my perspective.”

“OK, I’ll respect your decision, and hope you’ll just change your mind.”

“Thank you, now let’s eat I’m famished.”

Before I could even take a bite of my lunch, the damn phone buzzed and it was Twitter again. I forgot to turn off those damn notifications and now I was definitely going to do it. Unfortunately, I couldn’t hold back from checking out that notification and when I saw the news my heart almost stopped. A picture of Jared and a girl smiling and hugging in Moscow.

I knew this day was going to be too much for me to handle.

Chapter 22 

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